questionaire Posted July 13, 2002 Share Posted July 13, 2002 I know 2 couples very well. I went to their house yesterday and everything seems to be bad. the first lady was RAPED and ABUSED by her boyfriend. Second lady was TREATED BAD by her boyfriend Their relationship has been up and down many times. They told me that they went to see therapist but NOTHING WORKS the cost is very high Their relationship is GONE. second lady was fired because of her mental health. first lady resigned because she can't handle the stress at office first and second lady packed up and ready to go back to her family. They both suffer mentally and cried when i went there. These two ladies have to take medication to help them sleep and think better every day As a friend, i'm planning to take these ladies to go out and eat and make them laugh and hopefully it will help them forget the sad moment but i'm not sure that i am supposed to do that or not. THE BOTTOM LINE IS I WANT TO BE NICE WITH THEM NOTHING ELSE please help me answer this question: "What should I do to make them feel better? ". Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Nothing you can do is going to help these ladies. They need serious counselling and should do whatever they can to get the proper professional attention. Meanwhile, you don't need to go out of your way in search of people who have more problems than you do. Give them your sympathy and move on. If you spend your time getting sucked in by people with problems, they will drain every bit of energy you have. It's not cruel to avoid people with lots of problems. It's looking out for you. The humane thing to do is help them get professional help and then stay out of their way. There is no way you or anybody else can make people "happy" until they are ready to do that for themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 That is very true. You can't make someone feel better unless they really WANT to feel better. And when you are depressed and mentally distressed, its hard to think clearly anyway. You can spend some time trying to make them feel better, but in the end, they'll probably be in the same position, or worse, in love with YOU. It's been my experience that I end up being the one hurt and sad in the end, bc nothing I could do would help them...bc they don't want to help themselves. And to tell you the truth, the $$ excuse is a bad excuse. There are tons of crisis help lines, churches that offer free counsel, etc., that would be perfect to help them. Maybe you should suggest that...but don't get too close to them unless you wanna get dragged down too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author questionaire Posted July 17, 2002 Author Share Posted July 17, 2002 thank you very much for your response. I will do exactly what you told me you guys are absolutely right. I have a lot of problems over here and i dont want ANY MORE. Link to post Share on other sites
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