BLAH! I hurt the person who mattered most.

[lofi_tokyo]

I have an amazing friend who just... lifts me up when I'm down, she has helped me through so much, and shown both compassion when needed, and brutal honesty when needed.

 

So.

 

She has a big group of friends shes kind of new to, but definately a part of. She kept bringing me out with them, and I was slowly becoming friends with a few of the people.

 

She openly told me that she did not want me meshing with that group anymore. While she admitted her feelings were immature, she told me that she felt her closest friends would understand this situation and so... I understood it as: back off her friends. She understood it as: She told me the situation, and she trusted me to make good choices.

 

Well. I felt pressured. I really liked this guy, he kept asking me to hang out casually with his friends, or even one on one. But I just kept saying no - I had other plans, didn't have time etc. But... I felt horrible! I liked the guy, and whats more, I felt bad being dishonest.

 

I told him about what my friend had said, I explained she was doing to maintain our friendship, it wasn't to be mean. We both agreed it was a bit weird but moved on, I asked for it not to come up again, just for him to understand why I couldn't always go out with his whole gang.

 

As weeks passed, things got better, my friend was more open to me hanging with him, I was more understanding of her side of things. I hated myself for even mentioning the whole ordeal to the guy, but I figured it wouldnt come back up.

 

Tonight he confronted her about it. She started crying, called me, I started crying because well... I realized "S", my friend, is so much more important to me than... any of this ****. I wish I had just walked away from the guy. He was just a crush. She is(was) my best friend.

 

We talked it out. Things will not be okay for a long time... things will heal, but I think both her and I will remember this. I feel god awful. I wish I thought things through more clearly.

 

Blah

[Nemo]

Your friend sounds like a drama queen. Friends want the best for each other, not just what is best for themselves. She seems to have been more selfish in this situation that you have, so there.

[quankanne]

I have an amazing friend who just... lifts me up when I'm down, she has helped me through so much, and shown both compassion when needed, and brutal honesty when needed.

 

look, chances are that your friend is going to realize what she asked of you was not the best way to go about things, and that it took an outsider to help her see that. My guess is that once she works past the initial hurt (and possible shame), you two will clear things up. Because that's just how friendship works.

 

as for the guy ... well, it wasn't his place to make those remarks to her no matter HOW he felt. But, guys will be guys, and be very blunt about what they see as bullshxt.

 

perhaps it's just best to chalk it up to a learning experience

[justdoe]

:)If I read and understood fully, I have to express myself. I do not think that is a friend. How can she tell you not to mesh with her group of friends? You do not deserve that. Most likely, she said that to you because she is a bit intimitated and or jeaulous of you. Be yourself. Speak to people you want to. Do not hate her. Just keep a safe distance. Real friends NEVER say things like that. I would speak to the boy you like not her. I wish you the best with this situation.

[Cryha]

It sounds like she is just being selfish. She wants to continue to be the primary focus of her group of friends, and felt threatened by the fact that they were showing interest in you. You should not be feeling bad because she is being unreasonable.

[bozwa]

Friends or not, close or not. What she asked of you was downright MEAN and selfish. I want my best friend to come out with me all the time, regardless of who I am hanging out with!! I would never stoop to tell her she doesn't mesh well and to stop hangin out with us. makes no sense that she said that to you.