yes Posted June 9, 2002 Share Posted June 9, 2002 im back for yet more advice here's the deal: i have a bunch of friends... among them, several couples, and some single guys and gals. one of the girls who has a bf for like half a year now is very competitive. though she's supposedly seriously involved, she hates it when the other guys give their attention to someone other than her. i dont rlly care cuz i get enough attn anyway - but she does the same towards my guy. for example, once we went out like this: me, my guy, her, and a single guy (her bf didnt come)... so on our way to pick up my guy, she starts putting on make-up, brushing her hair, etc... i made fun of her cuz she put her make-up equipment all over and stuff... and she replied "oh, u dont want any competition for [my guy]"... i was so surpirsed to hear that, i didnt even reply, and then she was like - oh im sorry, i donno why i said that. next - a bunch of us were waiting for my guy to join us, and this girl was wearing a guy-friend's jacket which didnt look too good on her. as soon as my guy's car showed up, she was like- "oop, [my guy] is here, he better not see me like this... " and to me: "just so he doesnt feel he doesnt have options"... yet again, i felt so surprised to hear that that i didnt reply much. also, she has told me a few times in a very insincere voice that she's happy that me n my guy hooked up (its a recent thing) so - my guess is that she simply doesnt like it that my guy gives me most of his attn ... b/c she also looked unhappy when one of our single friends showed up with a girl... the girl im talking bout is sort of insecure, and i see where her 'must-get-attention' craze comes from... however - how the hell do i handle it? she LOVES hugging my guy, but freaks (though doesnt say anyting) when her guy hugs me ... what do i reply to her comments about my guy? i dont mind them flirting - my guy is the flirtiest thing, and he flirts with EVERYONE - i dont mind cuz he's always back to me, and i know its just his style of communicating with people ... both gals and boys. Another detail is - before me n my guy hooked up, the girl im talking about and my guy always joked around, esp. when her bf wasn't around ... but it was just jokes. Now - the jokes still go on - and sometimes it's like - "oh your bf isn't here :P" - "yeah, but [yes] is here!" - "yeah, but she doesn't mind" - and then my guy gives her a hug and comes back to me. in this whole situation, my guy's behaviour is okay by me, but i dont like her competitive attitude... i feel like i'll snap soon & say somethin hurtful to her - something like ... "are u that insecure that u need eeeveryone's constant attn like a 2-yr-old??" - thats whats in my mind... any tips? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted June 9, 2002 Author Share Posted June 9, 2002 PS should i mention this to my guy at all? Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled Posted June 20, 2002 Share Posted June 20, 2002 You can't change people. If you comment anything to her you'll just fuel the fire. I think you should carry on with your guy and let this girl be the way she is. Obviously she's not getting you man!!! So you've nothing to fear. I think she'd become even more competetive if she learns it bothers you.... or she'll end up doing it behind your back and then act strange around you... which will end up playing more head games then you need. Only my 2 cents. 1 question... does she act this way towards you man or anyone else's when her b/f is around? If so, maybe she's just flirtatious like your guy... if not then she's evil! Don't bring this up to your boyfriend as that could get messy in it self. best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
0Keebler0 Posted March 7, 2003 Share Posted March 7, 2003 well either make excuses to cut back in hanging out with her (although she will probably try harder to be flirty) even if it doesn't bother you it very well could bother others around you who just don't say anything. Or Flip out. If you flip out on her she'll probably use that against you anyways. Unfortunatley there really isn't a way to change being that way. Either she grows out of it or not. So in a way you are handling it the best possible way at the moment (sucks huh) Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted March 9, 2003 Share Posted March 9, 2003 Maybe it's me, but I think your friend is doing more than flirting. I think she's out to get your man. It could be that she wants other people attention, but it that were the case, she would be equally devastated when other guys don't feed her the attention she wants. When your boyfriend doesn't do it, it's unusually devastated to her. And then she's so concern about how she looks in front of him so he see that he has options? Options other than you would be her. I understand people wanting attention from the opposite sex, but wanting attention from your own friend's boyfriend is kind of cat (slang for bad, crass.... all of that stuff), and disrespectful to your position as his girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 9, 2003 Author Share Posted March 9, 2003 that post of mine is half-a-year old and absolutely irrelevant right now. thanks for your input, anyway. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Posted March 10, 2003 Board of Directors Share Posted March 10, 2003 Did she steal Mr. Flirtatious away? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted March 10, 2003 Author Share Posted March 10, 2003 she didn't; but im no longer w/ him for a long time now. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts