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friend in trouble


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Old 15th February 2002, 11:02 PM   #1
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friend in trouble

I have a friend and today she emailed me and asked my help, in breaking up with this guy. He forced her into sex this morning, without a condom. Last night he forced her to give him a bj. She keeps taking his crap. She emailed me in the morning, I went over there to talk to her about this, trying to help and all. Her mom hates this guy. I try to help. He showed up at like 6pm tonight, while I was talking to her. He was crying so loud, she started to feel sorry for him. She mentioned to me that he always gets his way, and that she needs help leaving him. This is her first boyfriend. She said she needed to talk to him, so they went for a ride. She called tonight, while I was at her house talking to her mom. She said she was over his house, and his family was making dinner for her. He told her that his family would be upset if she left him, .. and this is his doing by making her feel guilty. Her mom is furious, when the guy was there, she told him to leave, he would not without her. She is still over there as we speak, eating a very late dinner. Her mom and I need help making her break up with him, she even asked for our help, but how can we do it? We tried telling her not to go with him tonight, but she said she was just going to talk to him. Now she is in his hands, tomorrow she has to take a pill so she does't become pregnant, I suppose he was trying to trap her. Her mom is very worried about her, as am I. I called her mom tonight, a few minutes ago, and asked what she was going to do when they came back. She said she wants to knock him out. He is very controlling of her, and makes her feel bad for leaving him, but she never wants anyone to feel bad, EVEN if they hurt her. How can we get her to LEAVE him? She's 18. He's 22.
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Old 16th February 2002, 12:44 AM   #2
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Re: friend in trouble

You need to butt out of this situation entirely. Her problems with her boyfriend are none of her business. She is 18 and in most states has all the rights of an adult and can choose to live her life in her own way.

If she still lives with her mother, her mom can kick her out of the house if she keeps seeing this guy.

However, she has lessons to learn. If she thinks so little of herself that she would allow this guy to rape her several times and not call the police, she's in pretty pathetic shape.

Now, I will give you a little bit of help. Rape is a crime against the state. Forcing someone to have sex or give to give them a blowjob is rape. You can report these crimes to the police and have them investigated. If she tells lawmen the truth, this guy may go to jail for the rest of his life.

You are obligated to report a crime, otherwise you can be charged with a crime yourself...obstruction of justice. Otherwise, butt out of her life and move on with yours. You can't spend your entire life trying to save people from their own crap because they will end up hating you for it.

Trust me!
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Old 16th February 2002, 3:19 PM   #3
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Re: friend in trouble

Sounds like she needs to grow a pair and tell him their r/s is over. If thats what she wants she will do it. Whats stopping her? Because she doesnt want to hurt his feelings!

If he is forcing her to have sex, & she's so upset with him to the point where she wants to end the r/s. Than she will.

Nothing should be stopping her. And if she is afraid he is going to turn into a psycho over it than she will need the help of the police to get the psycho off her back.

You want to help, thats nice of you. But there is nothing you can do. You can try to forbid her to see him. Maybe she likes this guy taking control of her and playing poor little miss victim.
Quote:
You need to butt out of this situation entirely. Her problems with her boyfriend are none of her business. She is 18 and in most states has all the rights of an adult and can choose to live her life in her own way. If she still lives with her mother, her mom can kick her out of the house if she keeps seeing this guy. However, she has lessons to learn. If she thinks so little of herself that she would allow this guy to rape her several times and not call the police, she's in pretty pathetic shape. Now, I will give you a little bit of help. Rape is a crime against the state. Forcing someone to have sex or give to give them a blowjob is rape. You can report these crimes to the police and have them investigated. If she tells lawmen the truth, this guy may go to jail for the rest of his life. You are obligated to report a crime, otherwise you can be charged with a crime yourself...obstruction of justice. Otherwise, butt out of her life and move on with yours. You can't spend your entire life trying to save people from their own crap because they will end up hating you for it. Trust me!
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