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Advice on a friend.


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Old 15th February 2002, 12:44 AM   #1
Joe
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Advice on a friend.

My best friend's sister moved to a very very small town a while back. She's a freshman in high school there and moved there to live with her dad. I consider her to be my friend cause I've known her for so long through my best friend, and talk to her alot on MSN.

Well she moved to this small city, I mean very small.. so small I could walk it. Well problem is, people there are stuck up, ignorant they're the biggest bunch of *******s I've ever heard of.

They treat her like crap, they ignore her, nobody wants to be friends with her. The friends she does have talks crap on her all the time. She really, and I'm serious, has no friends there. But she is there to live with her dad for now.

Because of this she has a low self-esteem. Just tonight she told me how she's a sore loser, nobody likes here there, nobody cares about her. She's so down on herself, and I can see why because I've been down that road myself when I was in high school. It's a bad feeling to know that people don't want to be around you.

I don't know what to say to her, tell her to perhaps make her feel better. I've known of her for 6 years, but gotten to know here really well within the last year and I do care about her and she does mean a lot to me as a friend.

I hate seeing her like this, it bothers me and I feel so bad for her. I just don't know what to say because I myself didn't have friends when in high school, I remember people teasing me and people ignored me. It was like as if I wasn't even there, people never gave me the time of day.

And I know, being in that position, that it would take a lot to raise up my self-esteem and how it is easier said then done. Meaning it's easier to say "ignore them, you're better than them" but that being said to you isn't gonna raise your self-esteem cause you'll always be ignored and taunted and crap.

Please, I'm making a plea for some advice on what I can do for her. I would nearly recommend her to go see a therapist (Sp?) but the problem is, the town literally has none.

Thanks.
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Old 15th February 2002, 1:26 AM   #2
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Re: Advice on a friend.

She'll have to learn to be her own best friend but she won't be able to do that until she thinks more of herself. When she starts thinking more of herself, it's likely she will start gaining some friends.

She's also going to have to face the reality that maybe the people in this town are just a little on the weird side and it has nothing to do with her.

It'll give her something to look forward to...being able to leave this little town and going back to a place where the people are more normal and more friendly.

I don't think a therapist can help her much, except possibly to help her feel better about herself and realize what sort of a town she's in at the moment.
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Old 15th February 2002, 8:58 PM   #3
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Re: Advice on a friend.

I remember high school, although I try to forget it. I was just a bad girl. If I had to do it all over again I would do it so differently. Peer pressure is all over the halls, in the parking lot, the lunch room, and even off campus.

If anything tell her to she has the right to look down on everyone, if thats how she feels their doing to her. Their is no shame in anything. Sounds to me like she's six feet taller than everyone elese. If not already she should get to know as many people as she can, & just out smart them all. She needs needs to try to prove herself respectable.

Than one day she will look back & wonder why she ever felt that way.

Quote:
My best friend's sister moved to a very very small town a while back. She's a freshman in high school there and moved there to live with her dad. I consider her to be my friend cause I've known her for so long through my best friend, and talk to her alot on MSN. Well she moved to this small city, I mean very small.. so small I could walk it. Well problem is, people there are stuck up, ignorant they're the biggest bunch of *******s I've ever heard of. They treat her like crap, they ignore her, nobody wants to be friends with her. The friends she does have talks crap on her all the time. She really, and I'm serious, has no friends there. But she is there to live with her dad for now.

Because of this she has a low self-esteem. Just tonight she told me how she's a sore loser, nobody likes here there, nobody cares about her. She's so down on herself, and I can see why because I've been down that road myself when I was in high school. It's a bad feeling to know that people don't want to be around you. I don't know what to say to her, tell her to perhaps make her feel better. I've known of her for 6 years, but gotten to know here really well within the last year and I do care about her and she does mean a lot to me as a friend.

I hate seeing her like this, it bothers me and I feel so bad for her. I just don't know what to say because I myself didn't have friends when in high school, I remember people teasing me and people ignored me. It was like as if I wasn't even there, people never gave me the time of day.

And I know, being in that position, that it would take a lot to raise up my self-esteem and how it is easier said then done. Meaning it's easier to say "ignore them, you're better than them" but that being said to you isn't gonna raise your self-esteem cause you'll always be ignored and taunted and crap. Please, I'm making a plea for some advice on what I can do for her. I would nearly recommend her to go see a therapist (Sp?) but the problem is, the town literally has none. Thanks.
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