spookie Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 It's Friday night. I was ready to go to sleep at 8, but then I realized that was incredibly lame so I did some math instead, hit up the gym, and then loitered on LS. Real crazy night. The gym is always empty. Almost all the people I work with are men (and the rest are reallllly nerdy married older women), at least 90%, even the young ones, have kids; and I just don't feel comfortable seeking friends there. Some of them are cool but I'd feel like I was pushing the boundaries of their marriages or something by seeking any kind of relationship after work. Which I have no intention of doing. I'm thinking of volunteering but I don't want to join some random cause I don't actually give a flying fcvk about just to meet people. That would be so phony. The one volunteer project I am really interested in is coaching a middle school math team but I can't exactly be friends 12 year olds. Where the F do people make friends? I moved here completely alone so I don't know anyone in this area. My friends and family are thousands of miles away. I was going to live in the city, which is about 20 miles away, but decided against it as a long commute in cold weather (over an hour on public transit) scared me. So I'm stuck in the suburbs, for now. The one bright spot is that my boyfriend, one of our mutual friends, and lots of their friends are moving here in May, but what am I going to do every weekend before that? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Where are u living babe? I'd be your friend.... But you're not close to Canada... Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 How about other fellow volunteers? I do not know if you actually venture out of the office as part of your job. Sometimes you can be friends with clients and have happy hours with them. Sometimes one of them sticks. You've just started at the company, most of those companies tend to have training sessions where you get to meet other people. It took me a few months to make a handful of friends whom I've kept in contact. Another place to make connections versus friends is to join another volunteer group or your alumni group. The alumni group would have a newsletter that they send out to keep fellow alums up to date plus events to attend. Sometimes you get to meet cool people and sometimes you really meet some "interesting" people. Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Heck, I'm in New Jersey... I'll be your friend, if you promise to come over and not laugh at the mess. -tp sloppy but funny Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I made friends with the spouses of my S/O...the thing is we were never that close, until I had my son. Now we have a lot more to talk about, and I don't feel out of place amongst them anymore. Also, there are social groups in every town that meet. One of my friends told me about a "glitteratti" group that meets on wednesdays to do crafting. I'm going to get a breastpump so that I can attend so do some sewing, beading, jewelry making, knitting, batiking and learn some other crafts that I've never been exposed to - and also to make some friends. I guess it helps if you have activities you are interested in, and you do them. There is a group that goes running around campus regularly here in town (and they hit the bars after they run), and another that does cycling. There are local soccer leagues. Book clubs, that sort of thing. Many of them advertise their meetings in local papers/magazines or online. I am also now attending a mom's group at the birth center where I gave birth, and am a member of a local mom's group online as well... Link to post Share on other sites
openingup Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Try wine tastings - quality people hang out at them and you can try some decent reds, LOL. I hear you about everyone having kids - it seems parents all hang together and talk the talk about soccer and band practice (death by boredom for all those without children.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author spookie Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 I made friends with the spouses of my S/O...the thing is we were never that close, until I had my son. Now we have a lot more to talk about, and I don't feel out of place amongst them anymore. Also, there are social groups in every town that meet. One of my friends told me about a "glitteratti" group that meets on wednesdays to do crafting. I'm going to get a breastpump so that I can attend so do some sewing, beading, jewelry making, knitting, batiking and learn some other crafts that I've never been exposed to - and also to make some friends. I guess it helps if you have activities you are interested in, and you do them. There is a group that goes running around campus regularly here in town (and they hit the bars after they run), and another that does cycling. There are local soccer leagues. Book clubs, that sort of thing. Many of them advertise their meetings in local papers/magazines or online. I am also now attending a mom's group at the birth center where I gave birth, and am a member of a local mom's group online as well... The spouses of your so.... what? I bet if all my interests didn't center around smoking pot by myself I could make friends a lot easier. That, and if I were guaranteed that every time I met someone, we clicked properly enough to establish a solid friendship. Then I'd probably go out more; but exerting all that effort just for the sake of having acquaintances doesn't seem like a worthy use of my limited time. Blah. I guess if I ever want to speak to a live person again outside work I'm going to have to find a social interest or two to participate in. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamorta Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 I'd say making friends is pretty tough when you're out of college. I have met a lot of acquaintances at the gym since there are yoga classes, zumba, and all of that going on. Lots of males/females all congeal into a melting pot and everyone is quite friendly, however... I'm stuck in the same boat. I too need to figure out a good place to meet locals Link to post Share on other sites
Flowerpower7 Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 I've met my friends as roommates, social club, dance classes, through other friends, at work, online dating sites and at the dog park. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 Don't ask me to be your friend in the real world. There is a way to make friends, a very obvious way... cmon its on tip of ur toungggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg Link to post Share on other sites
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