What would you do? Roommate let the cat out.

[stefspets]

I'm posting this in the friend section because I thought I was good friends with my roommate, but now I'm not so sure:

 

I have two cats, both are one year old. I moved in this summer with a roommate, a girl I've known for a few years. She knew I had the cats before we moved in but still wanted to be roommates. The cats are always inside. I live in a large apartment complex near many busy streets and a freeway, so I don't think outside is a safe environment. They have never been outside before (except in carriers).

 

Sunday night I wasn't at the apartment, and when she came home, one of the cats slipped out the door. When I came home in the morning, I noticed right away that he was gone. The food bowls were nearly full so I'm pretty sure he was gone all night (he eats more than the other cat and usually eats during the night).

 

I immediately called my roommate. She didn't answer the phone, and didn't call me back until much later in the afternoon. When I did talk to her, she claimed that she never saw him in the apartment. Then she told me she was "sad he was gone." This really made me mad! He was my cat, if anyone is sad, it is me, not her!!!

 

I've spent the last two days posting flyers, searching, and posting ads online. She hasn't apologized, just "offered" to keep an eye out for him. I am furious with her!!! What would you do? Would you still be friends with someone this careless? Would you take personal responsibility for not being in the apartment at the time and forgive the friend? I'm mad, but should it be at her or myself?

[Lizzie60]

Who let the cats out hooo hooo hoo hoo hoo..

 

Seriously.. this is a tough one.. obviously she is not attached to the cats like you are.. it's normal.. she's not the 'mommy'.. at this point, there is not much you can do.. keep posting flyers.. call the police department, the animal shelters.. and hopefully you will find him..

 

She probably will be more careful next time.. I'm sure she was absent minded and didn't do this on purpose.. it was an accident.

 

I hope you find Mr. Cat.. good luck!

[carhill]

I love cats (have two of them) but, you know, stuff happens. Short of having a double door security vestibule, an animal getting out is always a possibility. With our cats, it's the coyotes (the cats are in and out) and owls. We've lost a half-dozen over the years.

 

IMO, such misfortunes as you've experienced are part of sharing your domicile. No one is perfect. It could've happened to you. Does your roommate exhibit appropriate remorse for her error? Perhaps not. Do you want to kick her out? Perhaps. There's times I want to kick my wife out and keep the cats, if you know what I mean Hope it works out...

[whichwayisup]

she claimed that she never saw him in the apartment. Then she told me she was "sad he was gone." This really made me mad! He was my cat, if anyone is sad, it is me, not her!!!

 

Need ask, what was her tone when she spoke to you? Was she geniunally sorry or was it half-assed?

 

One red flag - She didn't see him in the apartment. IF that is the case, why didn't she wonder where the cat was? Or call you to let you know that he was missing?

 

I really hope you find your cat - I completely understand your pain and anguish over this as I am cat person too!

[Ronni_W]

Her nonchalance may be her (dysfunctional) way of dealing with the fact that she feels really badly about the whole incident.

 

I do agree that it probably was just an accident, though. But I guess you may have found the whole thing easier to deal with if she'd taken more appropriate responsibility and helped you put up the 'missing' posters and such(?)

Cos, yeah, it would have been compassionate of her to do that. But if she hasn't demonstrated that trait in other areas of her life, it's just not something she has to give.

Then she told me she was "sad he was gone." This really made me mad! He was my cat, if anyone is sad, it is me, not her!!!

It's highly unlikely that she intended for her sadness to 'trump' yours! More likely, she was simply trying to express empathy. (Similar to when people offer sympathy/condolensces on death of a loved one -- they don't mean they'll miss the dead person MORE than those closest to the deceased.)

 

Also sending wishes that Cat will turn up, safe and healthy.