makemyblackrosesred Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Okay. There is this guy I know who has a friend he has been friends with for over 20 years. I am pretty sure they use to date. He is a commitment-phobe and doesn't want any kind of attachments. He sort of has a reputation for being a player. He hates talking about his personal life, and based on diverse information I believe that him and this woman are just friends. However, when asked if he is married he'll either not say anything and say no that's not for me or be like I have a lady-friend and we go out to dinner sometimes. Now if they were serious he would be living with her or married by now, plus his friends say they are just friends and I doubt he would be so opposed to marriage if he was in love with her. Now she lives about 50 minutes away from him and he flirts with other women, like I said he says he is a commitment-phobe. So my theory is that he doesn't want to date or have a serious relationship because he likes his freedom. However, he goes out to dinner and hangs out with her because they are comfortable with each other. You don't think "Ladyfriend" is a serious term right? Most commitment-phobes aren't in commited relationships. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 PLEASE don't put too much stock into what I say because I don't want to be wrong, but my OPINION is that she's his FWB. Plain and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I always considered a "lady-friend" something along the lines of a fwb, as well. But why are you concerned? Are you hoping to date him or interested in him? If so, I would recommend avoiding that. Unless you want to be ladyfriend #2. Link to post Share on other sites
crosswordfiend Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I knew someone who used that term all the time. He was from Alabama or Georgia or somewhere in that part of the US. It think it's platonic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author makemyblackrosesred Posted January 9, 2008 Author Share Posted January 9, 2008 I am absoultely head over heels for him! Well the reason why I think they are just friends is because a friend of his knows both of them and said that his "ladyfriend" called her and told her that she was tired of his former students visiting her and asking her what was up with the two of them because they were just friends and nothing else, and his guy friend he has been friends with for almost as long, always says he likes his freedom and that they were just friends(the woman I am refering to his "ladyfriend") Plus we went on a class trip and he seemed interested in the students potential dates for him because he would be like "what does she look like" and all this stuff. The first year I met him he said they he had a friend who he used to date and blah blah blah..I know he was refering to her. I believe they use to live together as well because i asked him about his cat once and he said it was hers and im like why would she give you her cat and he very angry said "he kicked her out." Of course everything this man says you've gotta take with a grain of salt because he changes his mind so much. He does go out to dinner with men a lot to. "Boys" nights and weekends. Its as if he doesn't see gender in friends. I'm not really worried about her because they've known each other for so long..it seems to me that they would be together by now. Plus their scheduels dont match up..for her work her busiest time is weekends and thats his only free time. He actually told a student last year they were like brother and sister. So, once again I dont really know because he'll say "we are more then friends" then turn around and be like "oh shes cute..what she look like" and ask questions about a potential date. This year all i heard him say was that she was a friend..so who knows. I don't think he would come off so single if he wasn't thats why they are friends with benefits without the sex. It'd be too weird. Any more thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I'm not sure. I've heard the term used by a lot of older people. Like, when my grandfather was alive and my grandmother had been gone for several years, he would bring his ladyfriend around. Or people would ask him how his ladyfriend was doing. And friend's grandparents who are widowed/widowers use the term. I assumed it meant a less serious girlfriend. And usually those who use it have lost their longtime loves and are at an age they don't want to move on or replace their spouses, but they often desire companionship, and sometimes need someone to do things for them. And often times the "ladyfriend" has also lost their spouse and feels the need to be needed as well. The only other times I've really heard the term used in day to day discussions was: 1) a man that I used to work with in his late 40s/early 50s, bachelor for life type, would bring his lady friend to work parties and events when a guest was invited 2) a woman, in her mid 50s, that I used to work with had a "friend" she brought to work parties and events and that man refered to her as his ladyfriend So, that is where I always got the term from, and it is from those situations that I derived my definition. I really don't hear it too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author makemyblackrosesred Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 So basically its a friend you do things with for people who are not looking for serious relationships..this is definetly a guy who likes his women and does not want to commit. Plus he says "friend" more than anything. I actually think he just doesn't want anyone, but doesn't want to seem pathetic or for people to think he is lonely or gay. So instead of saying friends he says ladyfriend to make it sound like he actually has a life haha..I shouldn't be too worried because you can tell he always has his eyes open for a new woman to come along. Living by himself and flirting are the best examples of what I mean.. thanks though bella. Do you get what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Yes, I get what you mean. He definitely sounds like someone I would try not to be interested in, but you can't always help how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
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