yergawd Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 When I was younger I turned my back on a lot of good people for a girl. Fash forward 13yrs, Divorced, had a miserable marraige, but have a wonderful son (with CP). I met a great friend who helped me find myself and helped me get through a lot. Without a doubt he has been the best friend I've ever had. But now I have an 8 yr old, and found someone that I love who also has children and I can't seem to find time to hang out with him. And definitely can't find the time to do all the things we used to, like camping, out of state trips, etc, etc, etc. A HUGE part of me misses this more than what I get from my SO. It doesn't help that I worry that she might not be the one. I don't want to lose any friendships but I don't know how to juggle all that I have(full time school, 40 hr work week, raising my son with special needs. And worry I will look back and regret my decision. I found a friendship closer than brothers could be. I hate to give that up, I am also forced to pass up several opportunities to live the Ozzie and Harriet life. I guess my question is, is this what "growing up" is all about? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 It is a sad fact of life that as we get older and busier, our friendships tend to suffer. You can certainly keep in contact, but the only way to truly maintain them is to schedule in time to hang out. Maybe that's once a month when you and your SO invite him over for Sunday brunch, or take a trip to the park with your friend and your son. If you want to keep the friendship, it will require a little extra planning and work, but it can be done. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Hey, I'm in a similar situation. Divorced with two kids, my GF has two of her own. We don't live together yet but that's in the forecast. I work full time and have a lot of things going on. Like you, I made a close friend after my divorce who I saw a lot of before I met my GF; now I don't see him as much. Plus he's still single while I'm not, so the whole two-single-guys thing is no longer something we have in common. Plus, finding time to see everybody I want to see isn't easy, what with a full time demanding career. I guess what I've done is acknowledged that my life is changing. Besides, I remind myself that, when I got married and had kids, I was signing on to be, among other things, a full time husband and father. I didn't walk into the situation intending to be an ex-husband and 2-3 days a week father. But, I'm divorced, and that's what I am. So, entering a situation where I'm once again a full-time husband and father isn't an unreasonable expectation -- I've done it before, and have had a 4-year break from it. And when that happens, I won't see everybody I want to see as often as I want to see them. I agree with norajane, it becomes an exercise in more careful planning. Even when I'm living with my GF, I still plan on doing my annual guys' weekend away, and not cutting off friendships entirely. It just means redefining things somewhat. The only constant of life is change. Link to post Share on other sites
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