NO friends left. It's depressing me heavily.

[zilverenvlinder]

All I have left is my boyfriend, and we're just going downhill faster than a snowbunny on skis.

 

After analyzing my situation, and realizing my boyfriend has plenty of friends to hang out with, I realized that I don't have any.

 

My (former) best friend, T, started dating this dude about five months ago, and hasn't left his side since. She used to be fun and cool, and now she is a doormat. She has evolved into this totally undesirable person to hang around. I can't even tell her anything anymore because she'll just turn around and tell her boyfriend. (She has twice before. Fool me once, shame on you.) What kind of friend is that? Everything she does annoys me and pisses me off.

 

My other best girlfriend, L, was formerly my roommate. We are no longer friends because of this, due to the fact that she constantly accused me of stealing her things (when in actuality, she stole most of mine), and treated me like a pet instead of a friend. ("Don't do this...come home at this time...who are you going to be with?!")

 

My best friend from years ago, G, moved about five states away. I can't even keep in contact with him anymore. ;-( So sad.

 

The worst part is, I work at a VERY small business that consists of me, an old lady, and two old men. -_-

 

I am so depressed it's unbelievable. It sickens me to think that the only person I can hang out with is my perpetually annoying boyfriend... who, by the way, is constantly giving me crap about how I don't have any friends. I don't know HOW I'm supposed to make friends...especially good friends.

 

People, if you have one good friend in your life, then consider yourself lucky. I really don't have any.

 

If anyone has any advice to give me on how to make some friends, I would love to hear it. I'm getting so desperate I'm about to go on My Space and start looking for old friends from freaking high school six years previous.

 

Thank you.

[McFadden]

This might be questionable, BUT since you said you have MySpace already, looking up old friends is not a bad idea because I started talking with some old friends again just because of MS. How I have made a couple of new friends recently is started chatting with friends of my friends that they have on thier MySpaces that I ended up hanging out with. You can always use more friends is what I say. If you already have MySpace I think its actually a good network for meeting people. Me and my friend I had a band with were talking to another local band on there and we ended up meeting them and keep in touch now.

[blind_otter]

I agree - you can always use more friends. Myspace has been a great tool for me to keep in touch with my friends. Especially those I haven't seen for years. Anyways, that's what I did when I found myself in the same predicament you're in a few years ago.

[EnigmaXOXO]

I don't know HOW I'm supposed to make friends...especially good friends.

 

Good friends are RARE. You’re lucky if you can count them on two fingers. But making new acquaintances that could potentially lead to friendships requires that you set enough time aside for yourself to get out there and do some of the things you really enjoy. Or even take up some hobby, class or activity that you thought you might like to try out if given the opportunity. You can meet lots of folks that way who share similar interests.

 

Of course ... my money’s on the probability that once you start doing that, your boyfriend’s hidden insecurities will suddenly bubble to the surface. While making fun of your lack of friends was a pretty crappy thing to do ... you can bet he’s gotten quite comfortable and secure with the fact that your life centers around him. So maybe you should follow his advice and change that. Not for his sake ... but for your own.

 

And speaking of bunnies on ski slopes ... maybe you ought to try that? You should SEE some of those gorgeous guys out there happy to give you a few pointers and help pull you out of the snowdrifts. Most of us gals out there were falling on purpose!

[woodsfield]

i found it difficult to make new friends in college and even now (i'm in late 20s and in live in the town where i grew up). i either know the people around here and talk to them or lothe them. ever since i was married, most of my friends stopped calling, moved away or fallen of the earth.

 

dump this guy....started anew and find some people that share your same interests that are close enuf to you. myspace, adultfinder etc...there are too many ways to find friends for you NOT to have friends. i am shy and find meeting new people difficult (and it seems that you have difficulty too)...besides, i dont really like "people" anyways....persons are OK, but people can SUCK.

[Chipite]

The worst part is, I work at a VERY small business that consists of me, an old lady, and two old men. -_-

 

Hmm... doesn't sound the best group of people to work with! At least to expand your social network anyway. Do you actually enjoy this job? Either way, you could consider trying to get another job where you'd be working with more people, and more your age. Which would be helpful.

 

I know though that the.......how shall I put it, type of people you work for can vary from job to job to job. As an office worker over the last several years, I've worked in numerous different temp jobs. Some of had me working with a large group of young people of both sexes, some with a small group of various ages of both sexes, another one in a team of all males who were at least several years older than me. And another one, where apart from just a few young people(including me), it was a large team of pensioners!

 

Working in a team of males and females of similar age ranges to your own will allways be preferable. But of course, this is not allways possible.

[love necessity]

Kind of long huh?

 

I'm in the same situation as you, and it use to bother me, but not anymore. I enjoy hanging out with my bf. I use to always say " I don't have any friends " I think it use to hurt his feelings when I'd say that, because on occasion he would respond with " You have me, I'm your friend, I'm your best friend ". He completely helped me get over myself. I was wishing for more, and didn't take the time to see what was right in front of my eyes. Today, he is my best friend. I can talk to him about anything and everything. We have this bond that no one could possibly break. It's great! I love doing things with him. We enjoy the same things, we eat the same things, we do so much together. It brought us even closer. My advice would be to start treating your boyfriend like he's your friend, because he truly is. Just because you guys are sleeping together doesn't mean that your not friends, too. That's pretty much what partnership is about "friendship" on common ground. It's an agreement between two people. You say your relationship is falling apart, well if it is and you don't want it too, stop saying it is, and work on it. Don't go around saying it, because if you believe in it, eventually it will come true. About your old friends. Let them go. If it didn't work out the first time, then it won't work out the second time. Give them space. Let them come back to you, and even then, don't be so naive. As far as new friends. I can name off so many ways to meet friends, but have you started within the group of people you already know, like you SO's friends? I think the best way to make friends are as a couple. Yes, it's great to have your own friends too, but why not have a group of close friends? Unless of course your a partier, or you like to go clubbin? I'm not sure. Me and my boyfriend like spending time outside. Hiking, swimming, kayaking those sorts of things. So, we have a few friends who own cottages and etc. We have great times.

 

Find something that you and your boyfrined like to do, and find others who would also enjoy doing those things and become friends. It's always easier to make a group of friends, and to keep your "soul mate" as your SO. No matter what I will always believe that your SO should always be the greatest friend you have. Just my opinion.

 

When you say that your friend "T" met a boy, that sounds very similar to a situation that I had with my cousin. We're not on speaking terms and haven't been for about 3 mos. I feel she's throwing her life away.

 

Since she turned 18, she's doing drugs, dropped out of school, lives with a guy who has another girlfriend, OMG!!!!AHHHHHHH

 

In the beginning of this whole situation I tried so hard to stay in contact with her and hang out with her, but no--->I'm busy with CHRIS!!! OMG!

 

I miss her so much, but hopefully she'll do what's right for herself, and make a comfortable bed..

 

As far as work, I can honestly relate to you about not being able to make friends at work. I work at college and my main purpose is to answer phones. Here's the catch, there has only been like 2 major calls since I've worked here since Jan. My job here is important, I just can't disclose any information. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE THE PAY!! When I'm not answering the phones, I usually do other various office work, too, like filing, faxing, copying, etc. Nothing hard. You would think because I work for a university I could probably make more friends, but that's not even the case. There are the occasional students here and there, but everyone always seems so busy, so I don't even bother. And while I could go out and step it up a notch, I'd rather not try so hard anymore, because I feel if a relationship--of any kind is meant to be, it will be...Just give yourself time and hope for the best, you'll find friends..There are like millions and millions of people in the world, have fun choosing:)!!=)

[AriaIncognito]

I'm sorry that you're feeling so lonely and depressed, I understand how much it sucks to feel that way.

 

It's tough to make "friends" in this day and age, once youre out of school and whatnot, and especially if you work somewhere that has a big age gap, or few employees, etc. I agree with other posters on the ideas of maybe using MS to rekindle some old friendships. A lot of my friendships are acquaintances in my older (read: 30s) age (as compared to school aged).

 

I think one valuable lesson to be learned here, both from your own experience and from you watching your friend, is that while having a boyfriend/girlfriend is great, you can't make them your world. Now I'm not saying to go into relationships assuming they'll leave, but the best thing for any relationship is for people to have alternate means of support so that we aren't placing all the burden on one other persons shoulders. I've made the mistake in the past to not pursue or maintain friendships when I was with a guy, and I learned rather quickly how detrimental that can be.

 

One suggestion I can offer is to see if there are any online "social" groups in your area. Where I live, there are a few groups geared towards "professionals" or "dating" or whatever. These groups have provided me with a lot of acquaintances, and a few friends. Check yahoo, you might find some. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to ask me anything specific about what I've found. You never know...