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I am such an idiot


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Old 18th March 2007, 12:46 AM   #1
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I am such an idiot

I just posted today, saying how I think I love my roommate and he loves me, and I am now pretty sure that I was WAY off base.


He hasn't even returned my call from a few hours ago, obviously he's with a girl. I'm such an idiot for thinking he loves me.

I'm 30 and I should have guys pounding on my door and I dont have one. Nobody wants me. I havne't been kissed or told I'm pretty in soo long. I was such a fool for thinking he would eventually do that for me. I am such an idiot for thinking I was good enough for him. I will never understand why he watns to live with a woman he doesn't even love.
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Old 18th March 2007, 12:51 AM   #2
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Aren't you overreacting a little? It's not like he has any idea how you feel.

It's St. Patrick's Day. Bars are pretty loud tonight. He may not have even heard his phone.

And so what if he is out on a date? Doesn't mean she's the love of his life.

You really should just tell him how you feel. I don't know why you haven't.
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Old 18th March 2007, 12:56 AM   #3
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You really should just tell him how you feel. I don't know why you haven't.
I would disagree with that.
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Old 18th March 2007, 10:44 AM   #4
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Yes, bad move. You have to let him come to you.

That said, I agree with Norajane, calm down and have faith.
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Old 18th March 2007, 10:52 AM   #5
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yes she can let him come to her... but she can be subtle about how she feels about him.

But first she needs to stop thinking that she is unworthy
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Old 18th March 2007, 10:56 AM   #6
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Granted.

Look at it this way: Say I've got the hots for this girl, do I just go and tell her that I crave her body? Even if she felt something for me, she'd run away screaming. Kinda the same thing with guys and emotions, I'm sorry to say.


You have to be a bit devious about it. Give us some details, I'm sure we could cook something up.

Last edited by Erik; 18th March 2007 at 10:58 AM..
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Old 18th March 2007, 11:05 AM   #7
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Granted.

Look at it this way: Say I've got the hots for this girl, do I just go and tell her that I crave her body? Even if she felt something for me, she'd run away screaming. Kinda the same thing with guys and emotions, I'm sorry to say.


You have to be a bit devious about it. Give us some details, I'm sure we could cook something up.

I think OP should intice him and make him think that the decision was all his.
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Old 18th March 2007, 11:10 AM   #8
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Best way there is. But go easy on the emotional stuff, the way to a guy's heart does not go though his ears.
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Old 18th March 2007, 12:08 PM   #9
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Best way there is. But go easy on the emotional stuff, the way to a guy's heart does not go though his ears.

You can say that again!
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Old 18th March 2007, 12:30 PM   #10
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thank you everyone

That was such a down moment for me last night. He came home not long after that, and just said he "hung out" after work (he DOES work in bar..doesn't drink though)..and said he never got my message. He said he thought for sure that he would beat me home...he expected I'd be out all night. But I came home early cuz the cops were thick around here for St. Pats Day so I surrendered after just a couple beers.

Just him coming home put me in a better mood. By then I already don't care if was with a girl or not anymore. So for like the 4th time in the last week, we are alone on the couch, tv on in the dark together. Also for the 2nd time he offered to get me some water. We were excited about a movie we'd been wanting to see. So we watched it and I fought falling asleep cuz it disappoints him when I do that! Like always we each stay on our end of the couch. We each have our own blanket. (sometimes we share one yet stay on opposite ends of the couch!)...he seems perfectly happy to be here with me. But just because he started this new thing of getting water for me and being sweet, I don't know if I should assume he's trying to win me over. I can't bring myself to just cuddle up to him on the couch, its like I need an invitation 1st. And I also dont' wanna bring up feelings and ruin perfectly good time together. Then of course, we say goodnight and each go to bed.

I know I am worthy, I just didn't feel that way at the moment last night. And your right that I need to settle down! Even if he is out on a date...its gotta mean something how much he likes to hang with me on the couch here lately. But like I said, can't bring myself to just throw "the talk" on him at anytime. I would rather just lay a big kiss on him. The roommate factor makes that seem like a big no-no though.

I just got paranoid last night I guess. Whatever's building between us, I want to let that go as it goes. I just don't know how to get it up a level, without being the aggresive one. I think he doesn't put the major moves on because he either a.doesn't know if I want him to or b. he's just respecting the roommate factor, like I'm trying to do myself.

You all have no idea how much your listening means to me! I've been going in circles with this on LS for months now. So you know I'll be back with more! If anyone has a good idea as to how I can give him a green light, please enlighten me!!
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Old 18th March 2007, 12:57 PM   #11
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That was such a down moment for me last night. He came home not long after that, and just said he "hung out" after work (he DOES work in bar..doesn't drink though)..and said he never got my message. He said he thought for sure that he would beat me home...he expected I'd be out all night. But I came home early cuz the cops were thick around here for St. Pats Day so I surrendered after just a couple beers.

Just him coming home put me in a better mood. By then I already don't care if was with a girl or not anymore. So for like the 4th time in the last week, we are alone on the couch, tv on in the dark together. Also for the 2nd time he offered to get me some water. We were excited about a movie we'd been wanting to see. So we watched it and I fought falling asleep cuz it disappoints him when I do that! Like always we each stay on our end of the couch. We each have our own blanket. (sometimes we share one yet stay on opposite ends of the couch!)...he seems perfectly happy to be here with me. But just because he started this new thing of getting water for me and being sweet, I don't know if I should assume he's trying to win me over. I can't bring myself to just cuddle up to him on the couch, its like I need an invitation 1st. And I also dont' wanna bring up feelings and ruin perfectly good time together. Then of course, we say goodnight and each go to bed.

I know I am worthy, I just didn't feel that way at the moment last night. And your right that I need to settle down! Even if he is out on a date...its gotta mean something how much he likes to hang with me on the couch here lately. But like I said, can't bring myself to just throw "the talk" on him at anytime. I would rather just lay a big kiss on him. The roommate factor makes that seem like a big no-no though.

I just got paranoid last night I guess. Whatever's building between us, I want to let that go as it goes. I just don't know how to get it up a level, without being the aggresive one. I think he doesn't put the major moves on because he either a.doesn't know if I want him to or b. he's just respecting the roommate factor, like I'm trying to do myself.

You all have no idea how much your listening means to me! I've been going in circles with this on LS for months now. So you know I'll be back with more! If anyone has a good idea as to how I can give him a green light, please enlighten me!!


What are his interests, maybe you could find a way in that way...
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Old 18th March 2007, 1:36 PM   #12
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You all have no idea how much your listening means to me! I've been going in circles with this on LS for months now. So you know I'll be back with more! If anyone has a good idea as to how I can give him a green light, please enlighten me!!
Sweets, you're on the couch under a blanket watching movies with him - how hard is it to slide a little closer and let your leg touch his? Or to squeeze his hand during a scary part? Or lie back with your feet in his lap and have him give you a footrub. Or give him one? Or to let your eyes meet and hold until he can't help himself and kisses you?

You live with him - you can flirt with him and tease him and laugh with him and smile at him and compliment him and make him feel like he's Superman everyday. Do it!
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Old 18th March 2007, 1:46 PM   #13
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You live with him - you can flirt with him and tease him and laugh with him and smile at him and compliment him and make him feel like he's Superman everyday. Do it!
This is perfect. Think about yourself. What makes you fall for a guy? Of course it will be someone who makes you feel good about yourself AND is interested in you.
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Old 18th March 2007, 4:34 PM   #14
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You all Rock

Yes, like since he started offering me water everytime he's in the kitchen, like thats the sord of thing I like but I want more! And sometimes on the couch I do let my foot touch his leg or something like that, and he doesn't seem to care but he doesn't react to it either. We have occasional flirty one-liners. The other night, while on the couch, I placed my pillow right next to him so that my head was right next to him as well, but not touching him. I was hoping he'd say, "you know you can put your head here"....but he didn't, or doesn't. I try to wear things that flatter me, etc, even if its PJ's...when I get ready to go out I dress classy and sexy and I make sure that he sees! I've caught him checking me out but he's never said "You look good" or anything...I do compliment him a lot, mostly on how smart he is or how good he is at something...I rubbed his back a little after a long day at work..he made an "mmm" sound so I guess he didn't mind...but I didn't want to over do it so I only did it for a few seconds.

I've heard that guys have a rule, "don't let a girl know you like her"...I sometimes wonder if he goes by that. Cuz he never compliments me on my looks. But I can usually tell by his face expressions if he's impressed by something. I guess he's not the complimentary kind of guy...at least not in our situation..we've talked about going out for dinner a couple times, but our crazy schedules haven't allowed us yet...

I don't know why I can't bring myself to get closer to him on the couch...well probably because I need a for sure sign that he would like it before I did it. You know how men are, they freak out and think "oh god she must want a lot more from me"...I don't wanna freak him out...

I promise to try even harder!...I just hope he does too...
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Old 18th March 2007, 4:40 PM   #15
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Yes, like since he started offering me water everytime he's in the kitchen, like thats the sord of thing I like but I want more! And sometimes on the couch I do let my foot touch his leg or something like that, and he doesn't seem to care but he doesn't react to it either. We have occasional flirty one-liners. The other night, while on the couch, I placed my pillow right next to him so that my head was right next to him as well, but not touching him. I was hoping he'd say, "you know you can put your head here"....but he didn't, or doesn't. I try to wear things that flatter me, etc, even if its PJ's...when I get ready to go out I dress classy and sexy and I make sure that he sees! I've caught him checking me out but he's never said "You look good" or anything...I do compliment him a lot, mostly on how smart he is or how good he is at something...I rubbed his back a little after a long day at work..he made an "mmm" sound so I guess he didn't mind...but I didn't want to over do it so I only did it for a few seconds.

I've heard that guys have a rule, "don't let a girl know you like her"...I sometimes wonder if he goes by that. Cuz he never compliments me on my looks. But I can usually tell by his face expressions if he's impressed by something. I guess he's not the complimentary kind of guy...at least not in our situation..we've talked about going out for dinner a couple times, but our crazy schedules haven't allowed us yet...

I don't know why I can't bring myself to get closer to him on the couch...well probably because I need a for sure sign that he would like it before I did it. You know how men are, they freak out and think "oh god she must want a lot more from me"...I don't wanna freak him out...

I promise to try even harder!...I just hope he does too...
Exsqueeze me, but what seems to be the problem?

Yes, he fancies you and yes he hides it from you, that SOP for any boy with a lick of sense. Do as Norajane says, and if it doesn't work, I'll email you a brand new Rolls Royce.
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