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I told him I love him...he loves me "his way"


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I have a friend with benefits. We've been seeing each other 1 year. I gathered the courage tonite to tell him how I feel and I asked him about his feelings. He said his life is too complicated right now and he does not see us as a couple although he doesnt mind being in my bed. He said he loves me "his way" but "could not" explain himself.

 

He's sending mixed signals but I'm tired of trying to figure them out. Should I forget about him and move on with my life or should I wait it out longer to see what happens. I'm afraid of losing whatever part of him I love, yet I need more.

 

He disappeared on me for about a month right after new years. I knew nothing about him. I told him I didnt want to lose him again and he said I never lost him. At times I cant imagine my life without him and yet, he doesnt see us as a couple and moving forward into a relationship. What should I do? Let it go and move on, after that conversation, I think I got the closure I needed. I need reinforcements.

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he loves you in his way means he loves having sex with you and thats it.he clearly told you he doesnt see you two as a couple.

if you are looking for commitment and a real relationship , he might not be the one and you would have to move on . its hard because you obviouslly like being with him but in the larger picture , its either only sharing the bed with him or being with someone in else a relationship ... your call :)

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I have been there and I couldn't walk away either. There was a time when we were apart for a while then we got back together and I thought that now, he realised what I meant to him and he would treat me better the second time around but it didn't happen. On New year's I told him how I felt about him and he gave me that same line about how he's not ready for the whole love thing but we can keep sleeping together. I knew then that I was wasting my time with him. He wasn't emotionally available to give me what I needed from himand though it was hard, I had to walk away.

 

Now I'm with this amazing guy who treats me like a queen and makes me feel really good about myself. I had forgotten what that was like and I'm loving it. I would have missed out on all this if I was still tied to a man who couldn't give emotionally. Move on, you don't want to be miserable for the rest of your life. It won't be easy at first but definately worth it.

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IfWishesWereHorses

I have a friend who met a woman took her out and she slept with him on the first date. He was thrilled about it. He also enjoyed her company. They continued to go out here and there but ususally it involved sex. During that time he would talk about not really being sure if he had feelings for her. Then one day he tells me that she should not have slept with him right off. HELLO!!! This is the same guy that was soooo very happy that she had slept with him to begin with!

 

I can't explain the why's to this and it seems like a double standard BUT still in all this is how it goes. FWB's don't usually evolve into more with men. They are completely capable of enjoying the time spent with a woman, enjoying the sex but NOT falling in love! It's just hard for us to comprehend which is why we THINK that they are sending us mixed signals!

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Even though it sounds like you two had an understanding about this arrangement, it doesn't sound like you're on the same page. There's so much potential for heartbreak here. Unrequited love is painful enough, but sex complicates things even more. Your heart is more important than sex. You can heal from this much faster if you cut your losses now. I wish you luck.

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BlueEyedSarah
I think I got the closure I needed. I need reinforcements.

If you have got the closure you needed then you should move on from him, don't wait around for him as what he has said seems as though you will not get a relationship from him in a long time, if not a long time then never which is why you should not wait around for him.

 

Don't contact this guy any more and look for another man who wants the same things that you do too.

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The simple truth is that he is coming over for sex when its conveinant for him.

 

He likely is not exclusive with you and sleeps with others. Thats called having your cake ( your sex ) and eating it too.

 

No hassles , no promises and no committment.

 

This will NOT change. When you cut the sex off he will mysteriously dissapear...

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