Upset with my friends

[Kathleen2260]

I'm very upset with a friend of mine, I'll call her Rae. Its not her fault that I"m angry at her. She didn't do anything wrong. The reason I"m upset with her is because I feel that my other close friends are always choosing her over me. Rae is my best friend, we've been friends for 13 years but a lot has changed recently. Rae got married about 3 years ago and has a 2 year old son. She is also attending college (late start) and so we really don't have a lot in common anymore. But she is still a great friend. We dont see eachother a lot but we talk about once a week. We are still very close.

 

 

I have another friend Patty who I've known since we were in elementary school. We used to be best friends, very close but she got married and her husband is in the army so they move around a lot. But we still keep in touch. We're not as close anymore but I'd like to think our history counts for something. Rae and Patty know eachother but were never close friends. They basically just knew eachother years ago thru me. Well Patty is pregnant and came back to where I live to have a baby shower (her in laws live here) I got an invitation and was excited to see her again (haven't seen her in a year as she was living about 16 hours away). Well I found out that my friend Rae had also received an invitation and not only that but Patty had called her and personally invited her and told her she hoped she would be there! I was upset because Patty didnt' call me at all- her friend of 20 years! I know that maybe she called Rae because Rae has a child but she and Rae were never really friends (Rae didn't even know who she was when she called) but yet she rated a personal invitation to the shower. I was so upset I didnt' even go to the shower. I was the one who called her and congratulated her when she emailed me that she was pregnant. I don't have any kids but that shouldnt' exclude me from her life.

 

 

 

So I was basically jealous of Rae that someone I used to be very close to called HER instead of me wanting to share an important part of her life. Well it happened again. I have another close friend Ann, we've been good friends since the 8th grade (I'm in my late twenties now). Ann has always relied on me for support when she had guy problems. Whenever a boyfriend would do her wrong, she would come to me crying and wanting comfort. We used to have girls nights out every week for the last 3 years. I set her up on blind dates when she was single, helped her find a new job. We were pretty close. Not best friends but still close. Then my friend Rae (they just knew of each other thru me but weren't really friends) introduced her to a guy she worked with. Ann and this guy hit it off and were engaged four months later. Ann is thrilled. All of her dreams of marriage are coming true and she is getting married this summer. She tells me of all her plans but she asked Rae (who she barely knows) to be her matron of honor in her wedding since she introduced her to her husband to be. Ok thats understandable i guess, but the thing is Ann did NOT ask me to be in her wedding at all! So she chooses my friend whom she barely knows but doesnt' even ask me, her friend of many years. All of my friends and family who know Ann are shocked that she didn't ask me to be in her wedding. She chose Rae (who is already married) and that just hurts.

 

 

So I am angry at Rae because people who were my close friends seem to be choosing her over me. It feels like a competition and because I"m not married and don't have kids they seem to feel I have nothing in common with them anymore maybe? I know I shouldn't be angry at Rae because this isn't her fault. But I'm jealous of her and its crazy. I'm not jealous of her life- she lives with a husband that is addicted to gaming, doesn't pay attention to her, he doesnt' work so they live with her parents in their basement and her parents pay their bills. Not the kind of life I'd want to live. But I love her because I grew up with her and we've been thru a lot together. But I feel I don't want to be friends anymore because it just hurts too much when my old friends start to choose her over me. what should I do?