Jump to content

Would you be comfortable...


Recommended Posts

This question is specifically for the women - Imagine you are going to a concert with your close guy friend (just the two of you). During the concert he does the following:

 

1) Puts his arms over your shoulders

2) Keeps playing with your hair

3) Gently keeps caressing your shoulders, hands

4) Face is so close to yours... almost like kissing

 

This is happening for some 3 hours, during the entire duration of the concert.

 

My question is - How comfortable would you be with this? Because he is not your boyfriend, just a guy friend.

 

PS: I am a guy

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wait... are we talking about two guys at a concert, or is this something you plan to do with a female friend of yours?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Wait... are we talking about two guys at a concert, or is this something you plan to do with a female friend of yours?

 

Neither!

 

Me and my female friend (just the 2 of us) went to a concert and were close like how I had described. We were not even drunk or anything...

 

The next day one of my colleagues who had also been to the concert asked me "How is your girlfriend" and I replied that I don't have one. Apparently he thought that my female friend was my girlfriend. He just couldn't believe that she was just a friend. He said that generally a girl would not feel comfortable if a guy does such things... Either he has to be her boyfriend OR she has to have feelings for him. Obviously I am not her boyfriend.

 

This is what prompted me to ask this question.

Link to post
Share on other sites
LessThanNormal

this is just my 2 cents but everything you listed was what YOU were doing and not what SHE was doing so I may tend to believe it was all one sided, but I could be wrong....just because she didn't shrug you away, doesn't mean she was enjoying it either. Some girls just don't know how to say or relay that you are overstepping your boundaries.....also, my question would be, if YOU didn't care about her in THAT way, why do such things in the first place? If she is interested in you and you're not in her, you are leading her on to believe there is more there than there really is. Not sure if any of this makes sense...but the point is--if you're just friends, then act like friends and don't do things that BOYfriends would do.

Link to post
Share on other sites
this is just my 2 cents but everything you listed was what YOU were doing and not what SHE was doing so I may tend to believe it was all one sided, but I could be wrong....just because she didn't shrug you away, doesn't mean she was enjoying it either. Some girls just don't know how to say or relay that you are overstepping your boundaries.....also, my question would be, if YOU didn't care about her in THAT way, why do such things in the first place? If she is interested in you and you're not in her, you are leading her on to believe there is more there than there really is. Not sure if any of this makes sense...but the point is--if you're just friends, then act like friends and don't do things that BOYfriends would do.

 

I do care about her in that way. That's the reason I couldn't help but be touchy. She also knows that I like her in that way.

 

It's not like she is a timid person or anything. She is very bold and outspoken. When we started as friends there was one ocassion when I happened to slightly touch her hands and she said "you are very touchy, i don't like it" and pulled back her hands.

 

But now it's very different.

 

So I am wondering under what circumstances would a girl allow this?

Link to post
Share on other sites

This is an interesting post for me, because I have a lot of male friends who I am quite innocently affectionate with... but there is ONE guy (I've been posting about him in this forum recently) who I've had several people give me weird looks/ comments about, because of how much like a couple we act and look. He and I have had one sexual encounter in the past (when we first met), but have been nothing more than friends ever since.

 

However, if we're both at a party, for example, he'll do this weird thing I call 'scent marking'. I'll have already seen him for the evening, said hello, chatted with him. Then he goes off to the bar, say, and I go to talk to some other people. Fifteen minutes later, he'll come up behind me, slide his arms around my waist and kiss my neck or murmur into my ear, giving all the appearance of being 'with me'... and this happens even when he's been chatting up someone else just a while ago. Or two days ago, we were walking home from a night out, and it started raining. I had an umbrella in my bag, which I offered him as he had no jacket. He then proceeded to hold it over both of us... fair enough, except it was a small umbrella, so next thing I knew his arm was around my waist, leaving me with little option but to put mine around him as well, and walk cozily home under the umbrella. So cosily, it seems, that while my arm didn't lose its way, his hand was most indisputably resting on my bum in under a minute.

 

Now I'm not physically uncomfortable with this guy. But I do admit to finding this sort of demonstration confusing and hard to sort out. So if you could tell us what's going through your head, I for one would appreciate the guidance.

Link to post
Share on other sites
lone she-wolf

Ok, I get it. I think what the orig. poster wants to know is........

Since the girl is NOW okay with the touching etc. could it mean that she may be developing feelings like the ones he has for her. Right?

 

Reading your post was scary for me. I had the EXACT same thing happen to me, while at a concert with one of my male friends. His actions made me nervous, but I did NOT move away. In my case, I DID like my friend "that way". Unfortunately, he called me the next day and apologized for his actions. I tried to let him know that it was REALLY okay, but he never did it again.

 

In answer to your question though....if she knows you like her for more than a friend (you wrote earlier that she does know) then it could be that as your friend, she just did not want to hurt your feelings by moving away. BUT, if you did it ALL NIGHT (you wrote 3 hours) then I would guess that she liked it!!

 

All I'm saying is, I would let a good friend, who has a crush on me, do that A LITTLE, but at some point, I would have to MOVE if I wasn't feeling him that way. Get me?

 

My advice is that you do it again. I wish my friend would.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Ok, I get it. I think what the orig. poster wants to know is........

Since the girl is NOW okay with the touching etc. could it mean that she may be developing feelings like the ones he has for her. Right?

 

Reading your post was scary for me. I had the EXACT same thing happen to me, while at a concert with one of my male friends. His actions made me nervous, but I did NOT move away. In my case, I DID like my friend "that way". Unfortunately, he called me the next day and apologized for his actions. I tried to let him know that it was REALLY okay, but he never did it again.

 

In answer to your question though....if she knows you like her for more than a friend (you wrote earlier that she does know) then it could be that as your friend, she just did not want to hurt your feelings by moving away. BUT, if you did it ALL NIGHT (you wrote 3 hours) then I would guess that she liked it!!

 

All I'm saying is, I would let a good friend, who has a crush on me, do that A LITTLE, but at some point, I would have to MOVE if I wasn't feeling him that way. Get me?

 

My advice is that you do it again. I wish my friend would.

 

You have completely understood my question :)

 

Yes that's exactly what I am asking.

 

But I quite didn't understand your reply though. Are you saying that she put up with it because she didn't want to hurt my feelings?

 

Just wanted to add that I usually play with her hair, keep gently rubbing on her shoulders etc even when we meet for coffee or go to movie. So this is not the first time something like this is happening.

 

However during the concert we were seated next to each other for like 3 hours and that's why I kept doing it continuously.

 

I didn't see her cringe at all. At one point she even put her arms around me tightly and pulled me towards her while trying to take a picture of us. Our faces were touching each other.

 

At one point she said "Don't touch". I was kinda startled and then I saw her trying to take a picture of the singer. I asked her "Why? Is the camera shaking?", she said "yes" and once she was done with the picture I got back to the touching and she seemed to be cool with it :)

 

She is eagerly awaiting the next concert that we both are going in November.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, for Pete's sake, she likes you, and she likes you touching her. Next time you two get all touchy feely like that, find an opportunity to look into her eyes, kiss her, and live happily ever after.

Link to post
Share on other sites

To be confortable with this I'd have to either be romantically interested in the guy (or be at least interested in finding out if I am), or feel like they are just non-sexual, sweet-but-innocuous displays of affection.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...