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Coworker friend avoids me


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Old 2nd July 2006, 6:50 PM   #1
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Coworker friend avoids me

Hi everyone.

I'm in a strange situation that I don't know where to start. I have a co-worker friend who I've established a decent relationship with over the past year and a half or so. Not a romatic relationship. He's about ten years younger than me and single. I'm a married female. We used to talk about many personal things, share thoughts and ideas and everything was fine. I've even helped out with his homework a few times. Then suddently last week, he's stopped talking to me. He won't even go near me ! It's at the point where he won't even pass me in the hallway. I have no idea what happened. He even expresses discontent when I'm in his workspace. I'm really angry and a bit upset about this as my job is not the greatest and he was one of the few brightspots.

As a side note, my husband works on a different floor. My coworker friend did mention to me that he saw my husband leaving work (these guys do not speak to each other at all). He asked me not to tell my husband he saw him. Telling me only that hubby was driving aggressively. I have no idea if this has any bearing on the fact that my coworker friend is now so distant with me.

Any help is appreciated. Good luck guys.
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Old 14th July 2006, 9:35 PM   #2
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I think he had developed feelings for you and realized that you and him are never going to be a couple and thus he has tried to avoid you to put you out of his mind so that he could function normally. The only thing you can do at this point is to avoid him because while he has romantic feelings for you the friendship you seek with him is not going to work until he gets rid of his feelings for you. That could take months, years or never if you two see each other often. You have to be careful about how you act around guys because some guys interpret friendship as romantic interest.
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Old 20th July 2006, 9:27 AM   #3
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If he is going to out of the blue just ignor you then he is prob. has feeling for you. If you and him were just strickly friends and you have NO idea why he would just ignor and avoide you then its prob. beacuse he has gained feelings for you more then just freinds over the past year and a half.

If you are seriouly upset and it is bugging you this much, then for some peice in mind just ask him what is the matter. If before you guys were able to talk about everything and anything, why not about the basics of your friend ship? There is nothing wrong with asking if you've done anything wrong to him to avoid you the way he is.
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Old 25th July 2006, 7:12 PM   #4
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An update

Well, now I'm even more confused. Last week my co-worker friend comes to my desk to chat. Tells me about his weekend what he's been up to, etc. He's acting like the same person he was before he started ignoring me. Jekyll/Hyde maybe? So now he's friendly and cordial with me. But when he sees my husband, he walks the other way, rolls his eyes, and makes a face. Kind of childish for a grown man to play games like that. I would like to ask him what's up with that, but I don't know how to approach the topic. Still, its cool to have my friend back (for now anyway)
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Old 25th July 2006, 9:14 PM   #5
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It does sound like he's infatuated with you. My guess is he'll follow those cycles. Infatuation gets strong, he gets uncomfortable and tries to avoid you. He sees you less so infatuation weakens and he's more relaxed, so gets closer. Then infatuation grows because he's closer, etc etc etc.

It'll probably continue until he focuses on someone else, so find the poor kid a girlfriend.

(Of course, I've never acted so silly.)
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