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i interview so well, then i get the job and get soooooo insecure...........


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i have a problem -- i suppose it is self-esteem, i'm not sure. any job i have ever interviewed for i have gotten. then i get it, and i think that they have hired me because they couldn't find anyone else and i am a last resort. pathetic, right?

 

so i just moved to a new city, got a new job, and i can barely process information at work. plus, it is a sales job. when i know my stuff, i'm great. but the problem i have is bigger than that...i feel like an A-hole with EVERY new boss i have. i always have this nervous tension with my bosses. could it be because my mother was abusive and a terrible authority figure?? i think so...

 

at any rate, i am terrified of losing my job because i can't perform. i find myself stuttering slightly, nervous and i can't process "normal" things. i appear very confident, which is obvsiouly why i get these jobs, but when it comes to measuring up to my boss or higher ups, i can barely speak i put so much pressure on myself. i feel like the job is over my head, that i am asking stupid questions, etc. basically, i lose all confidence. sooner or later it ends up affecting my job, i can't speak up, i mouse away into the corner, and i either leave or get fired. it is a vicious cycle.

 

anyone have this problem? i REALLY need help.

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curiousnycgirl

First of all BREATHE. Ok feel better?

 

NO ONE is all knowing their first day on the job. Even the most senior professionals need to get the lay of the land before they can provide meaningful contribution.

 

Take this time to learn everything you need to and can. Spend more time listening and less time talking.

 

You CAN and WILL pick this stuff up! I also have issues with authority figures and it can certainly be tied to an abusive mother - but I certainly don't let that hold me back. There is no reason to be afraid of your boss - he's not going to haul off and hit you, or bring up the most embarrassing thing you did in 3rd grade - he's your ally and friend - for G-d's sake he hired you and is paying your salary!

 

I spend a lot of time mastering whatever I am responsible for (it changes frequently) and then speak intelligently on the subject - allowing those around me to have confidence in me.

 

Good luck to you.

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thanks a lot. i actually just moved to nyc. i need to get a handle on my sh.t.

 

i hate feeling like this. i know i am capable and competent, only i forget all of this.

 

there HAVE been a couple of successful situations where my boss has actually like me : )

 

i am SO contradictory, i would really like to move past this phase in my life. i should be confident in business by now.

 

i feel horrible also, because today (i live up way uptown) i didn't go into work because of the ny transit strike. i just moved here. but my colleagues walked from brooklyn and i feel like i made myself look bad to my boss.he happened to not be the office for other reasons, AND i just started, but i'm worried that all of my co-workers will think i have a bad work ethic. i can't believe they walked over that damn bridge in the cold!

 

anyway, i joined the company at a weird time. i have to go in to the office tomorrow (wish i could take the week off until my boss comes back) and just "get organized". my boss will be overseas until the new year and i am left alone. i suppose i should see this as an opportunity to get straight, though.

 

why am i so paranoid and how do i stop this self-defeating crap i am putting myself through?

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curiousnycgirl

Being the new kid is always hard - you just need to figure it out as you go. Do you have a job description? That generally helps you focus on what you need to learn first.

 

So you live in washington heights - an area I like to refer to as upstate manhattan - depending on where your office is - brooklyn is waaay closer.

 

If you would like to speak with a born and bred new yorker, who is also a fairly senior business woman and mentors lots of folks - just pm me - i'll gladly be your sounding board, or whatever you need.

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