I hate holiday office parties

[Becoming]

I don't know what it is, but I hate office parties. I don't have a social anxiety disorder, I don't think. I just hate making chit-chat with people who have the social skills of your average lamp (academics). We talk about our work, but it has competitive undertones. I'm not interested in limiting the conversation to their dog throwing up on the carpet, but neither am I interested in the self-aggrandizing that goes on with people talking about their esoteric academic interests.

 

Geez. How do other folks make it through these things?

[Outcast]

Find what's good about them. Sometimes these folks surprise the heck out of you. Start discussing the music at the party and ask if they play music - you may find they are involved with a choir or an orchestra. You can ask if they've bought any books as gifts and what they might recommend. There's always the old 'are you travelling for Christmas' question that can lead into a discussion about their home town or families in general. In short, try to segue into non-work topics. After all, it's not as though you'll end up in hours-long conversations with them - parties mitigate against that.

[slubberdegullion]

How do other folks make it through these things?

Drink heavily.

[quankanne]

interesting topic, bec ... I've often wondered how people handle being in big social settings when it gets harder and harder for me as time goes by, especially when I don't know anyone there. The irony is that my work involves talking to complete strangers, which I do all right with, but put me in a party/gathering situation, and I get really uncomfortable.

 

I think you've got a hard situation though, with all the eggheads involved (husband's little sister is one, and while I love her dearly, she can get too brainiac to be around, though she doesn't see it!) Is this the kind of crowd you can introduce party games to? Back when we had the Christmas party at the big boss's house, everyone was invited to bring a $10 gift for "Dirty Santa" – you could either pick from the pile or steal someone else's gift, and it got really funny at times watching people steal from each other. We don't do that anymore because now it's a Christmas luncheon the chancery sponsors, so I kind of miss that.

 

in college, a couple of the guys from the newspaper staff would put together a trivia/ethics kind of game for our parties ("why is the javelina our mascot?" "In what circumstances is it all right to accept off the record information?") which was kinda neat because everyone had something to pitch in. Maybe y'all could do something like that, but with a time limit on the discussion questions. I imagine you could come up with some good questions that are science related!

 

your only other option to liven up things is to get smashed really fast, whip out a karaoke machine and/or a dancing pole and entertain the troops!!! :laugh:

[lindya]

At the beginning I'll spend a fair bit of time drifting around in my own little world, drawing other introverts out - or making polite, sensible conversation with more extrovert individuals who are kindly trying to draw me out. I'll also spend a fair bit of time people watching.

 

As the party progresses, the wine flows and everyone starts to loosen up, my behaviour will often become increasingly childish. I'll start to gabble nonsense and encourage others to do likewise. Once I genuinely start to believe I'm the bubbly, lively heart of the party, this means it's time to switch to soft drinks as I'm only 3 pub measures of alcohol away from spending the night on the bathroom floor.

[slubberdegullion]

Lindya, what time do you figure the lampshade goes on the head and the rest of the apparel starts coming off??

 

checks flight schedule...

[lindya]

Lindya, what time do you figure the lampshade goes on the head and the rest of the apparel starts coming off??

 

checks flight schedule...

 

About 31 hours time...assuming I manage to dig my way out of the snowdrifts that are building up outside

[stitchie21]

You know, with my job I have to actually plan some of these corporate events - including (but not limited to) the dreaded holiday party. My thing is that I want to make sure people are having fun and not feeling like they need to get plastered to have fun. We just had our party about 2 weeks ago and it went really well, and everyone had fun. There was enough drinking, but I made a point to keep conversations from getting 'too corporate' or small talkish (is that even a term??) by wondering around and asking people if they are ready for the holidays, if they have pets etc. People tended to really open up after a few of those questions and started to have fun with each other because they found some things they had in common. We also then did karaoke - which was hilarious, and made you not want to drink quite as much because then you would screw up rest of the girls from the office trying to warble past your own slurred version of "I Will Survive".

 

Guarenteed office parties always end up boozey though....just try to switch out a glass of water or soda after every one or two drinks. (It works wonders, and you still get the buzz), but definitely feel better in the morning.

[Becoming]

Maybe this is the problem. I don't drink, and our office parties are more formal affairs with no booze.

 

I like people, so I can schmooze with the best of them, but I don't know what it is about forced social affairs. Maybe as I get older I just don't want my time taken by such things. I can't find the fun in it. It does seem to have something to do with the largeness of the affair (150 people) and the formality.

 

Last year we had silly skits and singing done by staff for 1 1/2 hrs. - 2 hrs. that left us all trapped at our tables. It was Sartre's No Exit. Except that when the opportunity presented itself, I ducked out as we stood for the final song.

 

It was truly painful.

 

I have found at such times that sitting with someone you can exchange snide comments with ("And this is why microphones are locked up most of the time.") helps. Mental note . . .

[JayKay]

The best office parties I've been to are office parties where I'm not an actual employee.

 

I went to a big swanky deal in Long Island one time because a good friend of mine didn't have a date to go with.

 

Well, I got tanked, danced up a storm, ran around taking pictures of everyone and generally had a blast. That's because I didn't have to worry about ramifications the next day.

 

My friend told me later, "OH, everyone thought you were SO COOL"

 

I am never cool at office parties for offices that actually employ me. I am too worried that I will say something stupid, act like an ass or end up half nekkid in the supply closet.

 

So my advice is go to OTHER PEOPLE'S office parties. You will have much more fun! And avoid your own.

[Altaira]

That's great advice about attending other people's parties. I think the reason for it being easy and more fun is the lessened pressure of being evaluated or having to maintain your image.

 

I'm facing anxiety about an upcoming client (current and former clients at mental health crisis residential) holiday party next week.

 

I've missed this week's company luncheon because I didn't rsvp in time.

I missed both parties last year so I feel kind of bad about not going this year, but on the other hand I dislike the company leaders based on what I've heard from coworkers.

 

The client party is more social though, and I'm shy, I'm worry about how I'm going to interact with a supervisor who I feel doesn't like me, and also how my interaction with clients will be "evaluated". It's a feeling of being evualated t hat gives me anxiety.

[Becoming]

The best office parties I've been to are office parties where I'm not an actual employee.

 

I went to a big swanky deal in Long Island one time because a good friend of mine didn't have a date to go with.

 

Well, I got tanked, danced up a storm, ran around taking pictures of everyone and generally had a blast. That's because I didn't have to worry about ramifications the next day.

 

My friend told me later, "OH, everyone thought you were SO COOL"

 

I am never cool at office parties for offices that actually employ me. I am too worried that I will say something stupid, act like an ass or end up half nekkid in the supply closet.

:laugh:

 

So my advice is go to OTHER PEOPLE'S office parties. You will have much more fun! And avoid your own.

 

I guess that's it. We're afraid of saying something stupid?

 

I don't have this problem at my annual national convention. I'm the one who can get everyone on the dance floor doing challenge dances there. It just seems to be this particular place.

 

Or maybe I'm just in a pissy mood.

[FataMorgana]

Well, I got tanked, danced up a storm, ran around taking pictures of everyone and generally had a blast. That's because I didn't have to worry about ramifications the next day.

 

My friend told me later, "OH, everyone thought you were SO COOL"

 

hey,you are just describing my office Xmas party we just had on Friday. Seems like this is one problem I never have, love partying and never seem to run out of things to say or energy to have fun. I get to be the last one out every year and have a blast!

 

I am too worried that I will say something stupid, act like an ass

 

maybe I should consider this ...hmmm.....but then again , who cares been working there for 6 years, they should know me by now .....and they all still talk to me and ask me for some more everytime.

[brashgal]

I just came home from a successful holiday office party. I have to admit that it helps to be an extrovert. What to talk about? Movies are usually a safe topic, I finally was able to put all the parts of Syriana together with the help of someone who had seen the movie twice. Kids are another good subject if you know the person has children. And you can always ask them what Santa is bringing them for Christmas...

[HokeyReligions]

I don't like office parties either. I didn't go to the office party this year (and I was just hired so I know I should have gone)

 

A couple of weeks ago someone posted on the company Intranet bulletin board a newspaper article on how to 'work' he office party.

Don't cluster. Mingle. A LOT. Let yourself be seen by all of management. Always smile. Don't drink or nurse one drink for a long time. No belly laughs. No off-color jokes. Don't talk about politics or religion. Ask questions of everyone else -- where they work in the company, what they do, about their projector how they benefit the company. Where they see the company in a few years and work in how you can contribute to growth of the company.

That sort of article. Made me shudder!

 

I enjoy parties that are small and I went to our department party which had about 50 people and that was fun. It was pot-luck.

 

The company party maybe had 500 people or more. They have great door-prizes ($5000 gift cert. to Home Depot; 46" HDTV Flat panel, that sort of thing) but I didn't go. I had worked so much OT last week that I didn't have much time with my mom so I spent yesterday and last evening with her.

 

I just don't like big office parties!

[Becoming]

I don't like office parties either. I didn't go to the office party this year (and I was just hired so I know I should have gone)

 

A couple of weeks ago someone posted on the company Intranet bulletin board a newspaper article on how to 'work' he office party. That sort of article. Made me shudder!

 

I enjoy parties that are small and I went to our department party which had about 50 people and that was fun. It was pot-luck.

 

The company party maybe had 500 people or more. They have great door-prizes ($5000 gift cert. to Home Depot; 46" HDTV Flat panel, that sort of thing) but I didn't go. I had worked so much OT last week that I didn't have much time with my mom so I spent yesterday and last evening with her.

 

I just don't like big office parties!

 

 

This is what I'm talkikng about. Why would anyone want to spend their precious time doing such things? I'm ambitious but not like this.