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Coworker was extremely snarky with me for simply trying to clarify what was needed!


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

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Old 8th February 2018, 1:47 PM   #1
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Coworker was extremely snarky with me for simply trying to clarify what was needed!

Good god! One of my coworkers just came over to hand me something and he was exasperated by the thing already because he couldn’t understand why our manager wanted it done this way. It was a correction that needed to be made and filed away with one book even though it occurs in another book that comes first. This was the first I was hearing of it and I was trying to process what he was saying and asked him “So we’ll do the correction for the one book that comes later but it doesn’t need to be done for the book that’s coming first?” He puts up his hands and says very sternly “Look, do you want to ask Karen (our manager) on what needs to be done? Because this is something that gets done on your end and I have no idea what exactly you need to do!” I was simply asking him a question to get some clarity because it was confusing and he jumps down my throat and makes me feel horrible for asking a question! He could have nicely said “You may want to bring it up with our manager because I’m not sure”.
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Old 8th February 2018, 2:20 PM   #2
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You need to grow a thicker skin. The guy was frustrated and didn't understand your questions so he told you to ask your manager. He could have said it in a nicer way but this hardly something you need to run and post about during your work day while you should be working. I routinely deal with frustrated people who are often terse and impatient. Learning to overlook that and figure out what they need is a skill.
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Old 8th February 2018, 2:33 PM   #3
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See, I DON'T deal with people who are snarky and rude so it IS worth a post during my work day! If you are working with your dept who are a very close knit group then you should be freaking nice to them! And seeing as how I am very sensitive to people's moods, this incident will stay with me for days and I will feel like this guy hates me. Just like how I feel when anyone is that way towards me. I am nice to everyone no matter how frustrated or tired or angry I am so I expect the same in response!
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Old 8th February 2018, 2:40 PM   #4
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It's likely this has nothing to do with you. Maybe he has a lot of stress going on in his personal life. You likely have no clue if that's the case.
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Old 8th February 2018, 2:42 PM   #5
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See, I DON'T deal with people who are snarky and rude so it IS worth a post during my work day! If you are working with your dept who are a very close knit group then you should be freaking nice to them! And seeing as how I am very sensitive to people's moods, this incident will stay with me for days and I will feel like this guy hates me. Just like how I feel when anyone is that way towards me. I am nice to everyone no matter how frustrated or tired or angry I am so I expect the same in response!
Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Not everyone is going to behave the way you do or the way you want them to -- these are irrational expectations to have of other people. You can only control yourself and work on how to better manage these types of situations rather than let it eat you for days.

I work in a high stress environment and this happens a lot. You have to learn to let it roll of your back. It isn't personal.
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Old 8th February 2018, 2:52 PM   #6
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Some people express their frustration directly.

Others express their frustrations on on-line forums.

One's aggressive, the other passive, but the bottomline is: human interaction is rarely perfect. Don't expect it to be.
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Old 8th February 2018, 4:37 PM   #7
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Maybe he was overloaded with work and you were bugging him with something that's not his job.

I have some people asking me about every little thing and if I am very nice to them, they just keep coming around with more questions.
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Old 8th February 2018, 7:12 PM   #8
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I was simply trying to get him to clarify what was being done, because what he was saying really didn't make any sense as to how we do things and he threw his hands up in the air almost like threatening to have me talk to the manager about it because he was over it. So when my manager came over later I asked her if this is what I was supposed to do (and how he was really irritated with me asking him questions so I said I'd figure it out on my own) she explained it to me which made total sense. So he had not understood her and was making shoving it all on me acting like I should know exactly what needed to be done.
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Old 8th February 2018, 7:25 PM   #9
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I was simply trying to get him to clarify what was being done, because what he was saying really didn't make any sense as to how we do things and he threw his hands up in the air almost like threatening to have me talk to the manager about it because he was over it. So when my manager came over later I asked her if this is what I was supposed to do (and how he was really irritated with me asking him questions so I said I'd figure it out on my own) she explained it to me which made total sense. So he had not understood her and was making shoving it all on me acting like I should know exactly what needed to be done.
He was in a bad mood for some reason. Everyone has bad days.
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Old 8th February 2018, 8:13 PM   #10
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You are over reacting.
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Old 8th February 2018, 8:51 PM   #11
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Here is the thing. We can't control other people, or the world around us, but we can control how we react to it.

When a coworker is rude to you, you can choose to take it on as a personal attack. You can choose to let it affect you for days. You can choose to make it something that really bothers you.

Or

You can choose to not take it personally and let it go. You can choose to have a "it's water off a ducks back" mentality.

Now, I know this comes easier to some than others, but really, the choice is yours.

Do you think he is dwelling on this for days? Do you think he is highly affected by this?

My guess, is that he most likely has forgotten about it

Don't give other people so much power over you, to affect your emotions etc. That is a power you have granted to them, and a power you can take away by not letting them get under your skin.
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Old 8th February 2018, 9:36 PM   #12
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Here is the thing. We can't control other people, or the world around us, but we can control how we react to it.

When a coworker is rude to you, you can choose to take it on as a personal attack. You can choose to let it affect you for days. You can choose to make it something that really bothers you.

Or

You can choose to not take it personally and let it go. You can choose to have a "it's water off a ducks back" mentality.

Now, I know this comes easier to some than others, but really, the choice is yours.

Do you think he is dwelling on this for days? Do you think he is highly affected by this?

My guess, is that he most likely has forgotten about it

Don't give other people so much power over you, to affect your emotions etc. That is a power you have granted to them, and a power you can take away by not letting them get under your skin.
Yes, this. And remember, coworkers spend more awake hours with each other than they do with their own families if they work a traditional 9-5 job. There are bound to be irrational and emotional little spats.
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Old 8th February 2018, 10:01 PM   #13
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"And then I popped him right in the kisser, he dropped to the ground clutching his jaw calling me a Brute through his tears. And then they wrote me up for not being a team player!" would have been a much happier ending to your conundrum

You gotta get a thicker skin. Guys like that will repeatedly come into your life at some point. Those are kind of guys who have to project their anger at themselves for being a Doofus onto somebody else in order to deflect them being exposed as the aforementioned Doofus.

Try explaining that to him the next time he comes a calling flailing his arms around and dancing like a savage.
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:35 PM   #14
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I get where youre coming from and for the people saying get a thicker skin no she cant control how others act but guess what neither can her coworker. I am quick to cut people off....the next time he interacted with me id be snarky back. IK IK here come the speeches about professionalism but he wasnt being professional. Ive had coworkers try me and I gave it right back to them and they act all perplexed...like yea I am not the one. So i know this may not be a popular stance but give people what they give you. This letting it roll off your back and being the bigger person mess is for the birds. Cold shoulder is what I recommend outside of work discussions freeze the person out.

Teach people how to treat you.

Last edited by siren8272; 8th February 2018 at 11:39 PM..
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:10 AM   #15
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Teach people how to treat you.
See, what I get from this is that you're teaching them that if you have a bad day and snap by accident, they are to cut you off and be cold forever. Are you really OK with people holding grudges at you for minor things which they could have let go? Seems like a way to be really lonely at work.
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