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-   -   How to mentally bounce back after being fired? (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/platonic/business-professional-relationships/639115-how-mentally-bounce-back-after-being-fired)

Gillys 19th October 2017 7:24 PM

How to mentally bounce back after being fired?
 
Last week, I was told I wasn't a good fit at my work place and that my last day would be in 60 days. I wasn't given anymore details than that. I handled my termination talk very well in the office. I was professional and returned to carry out my duties as they fired me in the middle of a 12 hr shift. A few days after the firing, I became sick so I've only worked 2 days since then. I return to work tomorrow. However, today, the feelings of inadequacy and depression finally sank in. Don't get me wrong, I agree I wasn't a good fit at that clinic and am kind of relieved I can leave in 50 days as the hours were dragging me down and I kept getting sick (perks of working with sick patients and being over worked). But now my self esteem and confidence has taken a hit.

My question is, what's the best way to bounce back mentally so I can rock my interviews? I've been applying to jobs since the day after my termination and put the word out to my network that I'm in the market for employment. Im afraid I'll come across as depressed and timid during my interviews if I don't get right mentally first. Any tips?

Sunlight72 20th October 2017 3:08 PM

Yes,
I think a positive direction for you is to talk to your friends, neighbors, people next to you on the bus/sidewalk/subway (if they're at all interested in a casual conversation).

Tell them what kind of job you want to get!

Go into detail. What hours, days do you want to work? What sort of atmosphere do you want to work in? How many people? How many patients/clients per day/hour? What sort of room for promotion (or not)? What special focus do you want your next job to have? (if it's medical, burn unit? General practice? House calls? Private nurse for a family? Private nurse for a corporation?) A for profit? A not-for-profit? Children's care? Research facility? How much pay? What kind of benefits? etc., etc.

Go over this with one person, then another, then another. Don't plan it, just start talking about it and see where you go. Make each conversation different. See if the person you're talking to has any questions or ideas.

The more you can do this, the better.

Your next job shouldn't be you hoping you might be allowed to work somewhere with miserable hours, gloomy people and survival pay. Your next job should be somewhere challenging in a way You are excited about, with people you respect and enjoy seeing!

60 days is a good amount of time - be thankful for that, and start exploring what your next employer can offer you. Take advantage of that length of time. Don't do this as a practice at getting the answers right, do this as a process of thinking about what you enjoy and are good at. You will discover new ideas as you have this conversation the third, fifth, and eight time I bet.

What would you find rewarding? The more you have this conversation with people, the more chance you have to become less shy about what you want, and more enthusiastic about your job search.

Best Wishes,
Sunlight

Sunlight72 20th October 2017 3:19 PM

Oh, and don't do this 'in your head'. This exercise must be done out loud, with different people.

That is the part that will help you during the future interviews.

I'm sure you know your skill set and experience and education. You need very little practice or reviews about that. You need practice being enthusiastic and eager about your next job so that during interviews you are positive when talking about your future.

carhill 20th October 2017 4:28 PM

When I got fired I started my own business and stole my former employer's customers, including the largest public utility in California. Nothing personal, just business ;)

d0nnivain 20th October 2017 5:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gillys (Post 7444446)
Last week, I was told I wasn't a good fit at my work place.


Any tips?


Take their stated reason to heart. They aren't saying you are a bad person or a bad employee. They said you just don't fit there. If you put a round peg in a square hole it will block some of the water from getting out but not all because it's a bad fit.


Saying things to a prospective employer about how you want a good fit, where you can be your best self & simultaneously help them improve their business.

hrow 22nd October 2017 5:49 PM

Hi ! I think you need to let go of the last job and the disappointment there before you can be ready to take on a new job. That other one wasn't a fit for you whatever the reason. This is a new, different job and you have a new chance to try again with new people and a new situation. "The old has gone and the new has come." Be positive ! Be smiley! Be energetic! These are things that employers are looking for. Joyce Meyer who is a favorite teacher author of mine says "you don't have to be unafraid to do something you are afraid of. Do it afraid, but do it and don't let them know!" We don't have to fee confidant to act confidant. We just act confidant and then our emotions and attitude follow. Good luck ! Keep your chin up!

staggerlee71 22nd October 2017 5:57 PM

wait, I hope your getting a severance or the equivalent.

They fired you and want you to stay 60 days???

so your going to fill the void they created until they find your replacement?

Why should you grace them with this luxury? Unless you agreed to a payout after the 60, they can go F themselves and go collect.

No need to be nasty, but bridge is burned by them. Not sure I would be doing this favor.

Just sayin

Gillys 22nd October 2017 10:36 PM

Thanks for the advice everyone!

I have my first phone interview scheduled for this week with one of the major hospitals in my area. It would be a major step up from my small family owned clinic.

Staggerlee, I see where youíre coming from and I thought about leaving the day I was terminated but I make good money. So right now, Iím going to keep taking their money and free health insurance but also knowing that if they piss me off, I can walk out the door at any time. There also isnít a way to hide this clinic on my resume as anyone can look up my state medical license and see which clinics/hospitals Iím linked to and make a phone call. I donít want my work bashing me if an interviewer calls them to ask about me. Iíve decided if I sign a contract with a new practice prior to my 60-day period ending, Iíll leave and have a nice break while Iím getting credentialed at my new place.

dnewsome516 24th October 2017 4:34 PM

I was fired from my first job within the field I went to school for, after only maybe a week of working there. My manager gave absolutely no reason or explanation as to WHY and she did it over email. I still, until this day, don't know why I was fired. It was hard for me to get over, because I couldn't pinpoint a single thing I had done wrong- therefore I couldn't change anything in my next job. I didn't get over it until I landed a new job a few weeks later. My only advice to you would be to work on getting a new job. Whatever reason your employer gave you for the separation, take that into consideration in your next job. Don't let it get you down, just use the anger/frustration to drive you to kill your next interview!

alphamale 24th October 2017 5:04 PM

it was just a business decision. nothing personal

Chris2016 26th October 2017 1:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gillys (Post 7444446)
Last week, I was told I wasn't a good fit at my work place and that my last day would be in 60 days. I wasn't given anymore details than that. I handled my termination talk very well in the office. I was professional and returned to carry out my duties as they fired me in the middle of a 12 hr shift. A few days after the firing, I became sick so I've only worked 2 days since then. I return to work tomorrow. However, today, the feelings of inadequacy and depression finally sank in. Don't get me wrong, I agree I wasn't a good fit at that clinic and am kind of relieved I can leave in 50 days as the hours were dragging me down and I kept getting sick (perks of working with sick patients and being over worked). But now my self esteem and confidence has taken a hit.

My question is, what's the best way to bounce back mentally so I can rock my interviews? I've been applying to jobs since the day after my termination and put the word out to my network that I'm in the market for employment. Im afraid I'll come across as depressed and timid during my interviews if I don't get right mentally first. Any tips?

Were you fired or laidoff? It almost sounds like you were laidoff, since you are continuing to work.

I was asked to come in on a weekend. The Friday before, I was given a layoff notice (1 month to pack it up). My awesome boss (who was also given a notice) let me decide if I wanted to come in or not. I came in anyways.

Are you in the US?

If they are giving you severance, part of that deal is you are expected to "work", to receive the severance.

Do your best to look like you're "working", but you and they know, that your priorities are to find another job?

So when you have time, update your resume and LinkedIn, do job searches, get contact information (people who you want to be you references), etc. DO NOT burn bridges.

How long have you worked there? You can possibly file for unemployment insurance. Your HR should give info on that, but research online also.

Sorry that you are going through this. It was my 2nd layoff and I was like whatever, next.

In answer to your question, sounds like you're doing pretty well. You're job searching/applying for jobs. Putting out the word.

Chris2016 26th October 2017 1:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carhill (Post 7445094)
When I got fired I started my own business and stole my former employer's customers, including the largest public utility in California. Nothing personal, just business ;)

LOL. Did they fire you because you were a threat?

Gillys 27th October 2017 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alphamale (Post 7448947)
it was just a business decision. nothing personal

I hope this is the case. Its hard to tell with this clinic. Iím a provider but I found that all the medical assistants and administration staff bring their personal business to work and scheme to try to get each other fired daily. They are always trying to file complaints on each other. Only one doctor from what I can tell has been dragged into the medical assistant and administration drama. They seriously get in shouting matches and curse each other out in front of patients.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris2016 (Post 7450357)
Were you fired or laidoff? It almost sounds like you were laidoff, since you are continuing to work.
I was asked to come in on a weekend. The Friday before, I was given a layoff notice (1 month to pack it up). My awesome boss (who was also given a notice) let me decide if I wanted to come in or not. I came in anyways.
Are you in the US?
If they are giving you severance, part of that deal is you are expected to "work", to receive the severance.
Do your best to look like you're "working", but you and they know, that your priorities are to find another job?
So when you have time, update your resume and LinkedIn, do job searches, get contact information (people who you want to be you references), etc. DO NOT burn bridges.
How long have you worked there? You can possibly file for unemployment insurance. Your HR should give info on that, but research online also.
Sorry that you are going through this. It was my 2nd layoff and I was like whatever, next.
In answer to your question, sounds like you're doing pretty well. You're job searching/applying for jobs. Putting out the word.

Iím not entirely sure. I found out yesterday that all the minority workers were told they werenít a good fit and were asked to leave. There are only 3 of us total. They are bringing in 2 new grads to replace my position but I feel like they are just keeping me around for 60 days per contract and to give them time for the new employees to start. If I didnít show up next week, it would put a strain on the company.

Yes Iím in the US. A severance package wasnít mentioned. I was handed a letter after my ďnot a good fitĒ meeting and told my benefits would end on my last day at work in December and to make appropriate arrangements.

I agree, I have shown up to work. I still keep to myself and do my job. I made it clear that I may have to miss some work for interviews which they said they would accommodate but weíll see if that happens.

Iíve been there 3 months. I think the short time may hurt me when looking for jobs because I may appear like a job hopper. Iím not sure if I qualify for any unemployment benefits since I work PRN at another clinic an hour away. However, I donít receive any benefits there.
Thanks for the advice!

carhill 27th October 2017 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris2016 (Post 7450362)
LOL. Did they fire you because you were a threat?

They couldn't make the profit numbers go so got rid of their machinist. I even, initially, ran jobs through them (did the work and billed them and they billed the customers at a markup) and put them on net 30 and, when they didn't pay me, I cut them out. Poof, done. Scorched earth.

That was the era, decades ago, when I learned how little I respected humans. That job stuff was just part of it. That was the only job I was ever fired from and it was the last. Anyone in business knows customers fire vendors all the time but that's normal stuff. It's a bloody world out there. Part of bouncing back is accepting that and being willing to let some blood oneself. People just aren't that important.

Think about that job thing. The game of slavery to the machine for life. Look what they make you give. All because of the god of money and the game. The smart ones kneel to the god, pay their deference and play the game and win some modicum of freedom before they die.

Oh, right, bouncing back after being fired ;)

UpwardForward 27th October 2017 12:59 PM

I got fired a few times when I was young.

Amazing thing was: Both times I was able to land extremely good jobs immediately afterward. Above and beyond expectations and expertise.


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