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Dealing with a married colleague


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Old 12th October 2017, 11:55 PM   #1
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Dealing with a married colleague

Married male colleague used to flirt with me..... in the past, calling me queen, reaching for my hand while bowing on one knee, staring, and then bought me a Christmas gift. When I realized what the gift was, I tried to give it back he minimized it and he said his wife picked out for me. At that point, I just started keeping my distance and did so for several months. Now after months of keeping my distance, he's started giving me high fives, slightly bowing and reaching for my hand again. As long as he doesn't say anything inappropriate, is this ok? I have to work directly with him and don't want to report something without concrete evidence and then have to deal with hostility on top of it.
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Old 13th October 2017, 7:48 AM   #2
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Have you tried speaking to him privately & telling him that he behavior makes you uncomfortable? He may simply think he's being cute & not realize how awful his behavior comes across.

After you have this chat, if the behavior doesn't stop, then it may be time to involve HR. Document everything & keep your notes at home, not in the office.
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Old 13th October 2017, 6:08 PM   #3
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Dealing with a Married Colleague

I will try to talk to him again, but I feel like he's going to blow it off just like he did when I confronted him about the gift and acted like it was no big deal because his wife supposedly picked it out (and I have never met her). Hopefully it's just me, and I'm just reading too much into his behaviors and I don't want to make things even more uncomfortable.
Thank you for the advice.
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Old 13th October 2017, 6:16 PM   #4
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I would probably give him an uncomfortable laugh and say "oh stop, you're embarrassing me"

If he tries to deflect that, I would tell him I feel it's inappropriate.
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Old 15th October 2017, 9:15 PM   #5
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Direct but tactful is the best course. His behavior, as a married man, is not okay.

Next time he does something like in the OP, I would use that as an opportunity to take him aside and explain that what he does makes you uncomfortable and you are asking him to stop.
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