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My ex boss asked me on a date


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

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Old 22nd August 2017, 5:23 PM   #1
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My ex boss asked me on a date

I did an internship and got one very well with my manager.
Since I finished my internship we are still in contact.

He introduced me to his friends and we had drinks many times alone but he has never been ambiguous. We got on a lot and he was particularly nice with me during this internship.

I saw him as a friend even if I am very attracted to him, I never tried to take the lead or flirt with him because I don't want him to think that I am an easy girl. .
He is also the type of guys who dates many girls!

He sent me a message and told me that he wants to see me one to one.. . I am attracted to him but know what type of guy he is.

What do you think about that? Do you advise me to go forward or stay professional?

Thank you guys"

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Old 22nd August 2017, 5:32 PM   #2
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The field you are in, will everyone you apply for a job at know this man? Because if so, they already know he's a player and then they will know you were one of his girls, and that will influence whether you get hired or if you get hired for a good reason or because someone thinks you're easy (a man) or you get passed over by a woman who thinks you may try sleeping your way up. In other words, if it's a small industry, everyone will know your habits, so be careful just for that reason if for no other.

If it's not likely everyone knows this guy or you will end up having him as an affiliate or client or coworker or run into him at a convention someday where all the men will be telling tales, then only date him if what he is doings fits within what you want. In other words, if you are okay with him multidating because you are also multidating and aren't looking for a serious relationship, then fine. But if you have some delusion that you can tame him, you need to just set your boundary and stay away except as a friend. And not even a friend if you are weak and vulnerable. It's perfectly fine to just tell him, Oh, I know you like to have a good time, but I'm more serious than that and not looking for anything casual. Of course, beware because to a player, this just triggers them to open up their little box of lies and try to convince you you're special or they've changed.

Set your boundaries for what you want and stick to them.
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Old 22nd August 2017, 5:49 PM   #3
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"Thank you for your answer!

I don't want to be "a friend with benefit" or have only a sexual relationship with him. He is a guy that I respect and particularly likes so don't want this kind of relationship. For me its either we date either we stay friends.
It makes one year that we are in contact so I was hoping that he has a crush on me or something

I know that he doesn't do that with girls usually. I would like to have you point of view on this question.
Thanks !!"

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Old 22nd August 2017, 5:56 PM   #4
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If you like him & want to date him, do so but maintain your boundaries. This guy sounds like a player & you don't sound savvy enough to handle a guy like that.

Forgetting about the former boss thing, I think that you will end up getting hurt because he's not the kind of guy you want but he's smooth enough to get you to fall for his lines.
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Old 23rd August 2017, 12:03 AM   #5
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Hmmm, if you tell him you are already dating someone else?
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Old 23rd August 2017, 2:47 AM   #6
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This guy sounds like a serial dater, and I doubt he has suddenly changed now that he has met you. He is obviously an attractive man in a responsible position in his company and he is going to get plenty of offers from other girls.I doubt very much that he will change now.

If you do decide to meet up with him, make sure that he understands it is strictly as friends, otherwise he is going to break your heart. Sorry to sound so negative, but that is how I see it.
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Old 23rd August 2017, 4:56 PM   #7
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thank you guys for you help! I agree with you
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