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How do you break up with a coworker?


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Old 23rd July 2017, 5:17 PM   #1
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How do you break up with a coworker?

Or at least, I "need space."

I do like her as a person, but there have been these things she says/does that annoy me, which I feel is partly due to how close we've become over the last few months. I don't want to be rude to her, but I need to set boundaries. Between fielding questions about my dating history (she actually asked if I was a virgin) and hearing about how I should start buying stocks (like I'm going to listen to financial advice from someone who admitted to having more than $20,000 in credit card debt)... I think things are getting a little too personal.

Oh, and we do sit next to each other.
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Old 23rd July 2017, 7:19 PM   #2
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so set bourndaries

just say that the topics are too personal, or that you prefer your dad/mom's advice, or just clam up, or hold an opinion that she can't stand

you need to nudge her into realizing (for herself) that you two are not that well-bonded so that she takes the hint, or at least stops depending on you

and move jobs, have something lined up

tbh, the financial advice is a code for "be rich" so she might just be a suspect gold-digger, a red-flag for you to wave at her, to part over - now

Last edited by darkmoon; 23rd July 2017 at 7:40 PM..
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Old 15th August 2017, 6:18 PM   #3
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That is very personal, I'd be uncomfortable too. The first thing I try is saying something like "I need to focus on work right now". If they keep going, I respond with the word "right" I just learned this trick and it stops unwanted conversation every time for some reason and you can say it with a smile on your face.

Them: How is your sex life
Me: Right.

I've only had to use that a couple times, but it's worked.

These recommendations are pretty good, form a website...

Create a Personal Policy

Create a personal policy for what's off limits. For example, if you have an illness in your family, are going through a divorce or have a child with problems, these are not necessarily things your co-workers need to know about, and can invite unwanted questions. While colleagues might still inquire about your family or question you if you seem down or distracted, you don't have to provide details. Simply say, “Just some personal issues, thanks for your concern." Don’t allow the conversation to expand any further. If pushed, put it more firmly: “It's personal. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Set Discussion Parameters

Draw a line when it comes to getting involved in other people's personal lives. For example, if a colleague wants to share information about her financial woes or problems with her in-laws, you can opt to limit how much you listen to and how much you inquire about. It's one thing to have a friendly relationship with colleagues and make casual conversation about life issues -- it's another to waste an hour every day listening to someone's personal troubles. If a colleague crosses the line in over-sharing, say, “I'm sorry you're having these struggles, but I'm really not comfortable hearing about them at work.”
Refuse to Engage

Colleagues can't get too personal without your consent. Resist the urge to complain, don't respond to inappropriate personal inquiries and limit the amount of time spent with nosy or intrusive co-workers. If you have a colleague who regularly listens in on your conversations, consider that you might be having too many personal conversations in the workplace. If so, limit your telephone and personal interactions to break times when you can converse in private.
Employ Your Manager’s Help

Employees who continually inquire into the personal lives of others run the risk of becoming harassers, which can lead to a hostile work environment. This is especially true if a member of the opposite sex is the one crossing the line into personal territory. If you've made attempts to curb the behavior to no avail, document the troublesome exchanges and take the issue to your manager for mediation.
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