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Why did co-worker feel the need to make this comment to me?


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

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Old 18th July 2017, 11:20 AM   #1
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Why did co-worker feel the need to make this comment to me?

One co-worker came from our other building across the street to talk about a project with a coworker of mine who sits a few feet away from me. I'm sitting there working on my own stuff when he comes up to my coworker and pulls up a chair to discuss something with him. They just make a little small talk first and then right before they start discussing the project this guy who came over says "Well I hope I can get a word in edgewise with Mapper talking nonstop over there". I didn't say anything but I thought to myself "What the hell?" I'm sitting here working on my own stuff. You came to talk to this guy, not me, about a project totally unrelated to what I'm doing. I have nothing to do with your conversation. What was the point of bringing me into the conversation? Are you making a jab at me for being quiet?

It was just so weird.
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Old 18th July 2017, 11:23 AM   #2
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Are you all men?
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Old 18th July 2017, 11:36 AM   #3
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Are you all men?
No I am a woman the other two are 50 something men. I'll admit, the guy who said it is a bit odd. He's never been an easy person to talk to and I'm not the only one who shares that opinion.
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Old 18th July 2017, 11:38 AM   #4
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Maybe he was giving you an opportunity to join the conversation, or maybe he was simply making a jab at you for always being so quiet.

This isn't the first time you have made posts about being offended that your co-workers commented on how quiet you are.
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Old 18th July 2017, 11:45 AM   #5
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Maybe he was giving you an opportunity to join the conversation, or maybe he was simply making a jab at you for always being so quiet.

This isn't the first time you have made posts about being offended that your co-workers commented on how quiet you are.
Well there was zero need for me to join in the conversation since it was their project and I had no knowledge of it. Yes I'm quiet, but what was the reason to just out of the blue make such a random comment to me when there was no reason for me to say anything in the first place?!
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Old 18th July 2017, 1:03 PM   #6
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Considering he's an awkward man and you're a woman, I think it was a lame attempt at flirting .
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Old 18th July 2017, 2:23 PM   #7
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Hey :)

maybe it was just a light-hearted icebreaker, if you had not acknowledged his entry into your work area.

if you had not said 'hi no-name-male' when he entered, and he does not know how to approach you with a neutral greeting, then what he said is just a standard awkward male thing, kind of sarcastic humour.

when he said it, you could have retorted 'hi no-name-male' just to acknowledge his presence in a friendly way.

In my place we call tall people 'shorty', short people 'lofty' quiet people 'noisy' etc there is no malice in it [and not much humour for my money]. However it is innocent and no insult intended.
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Old 18th July 2017, 4:28 PM   #8
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I am also very quiet and people regularly make comments like this aimed at me. I take it in jest as it's intended.
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Old 18th July 2017, 4:39 PM   #9
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maybe it was just a light-hearted icebreaker, if you had not acknowledged his entry into your work area.

if you had not said 'hi no-name-male' when he entered, and he does not know how to approach you with a neutral greeting, then what he said is just a standard awkward male thing, kind of sarcastic humour.

when he said it, you could have retorted 'hi no-name-male' just to acknowledge his presence in a friendly way.

In my place we call tall people 'shorty', short people 'lofty' quiet people 'noisy' etc there is no malice in it [and not much humour for my money]. However it is innocent and no insult intended.
Well there was another person sitting in our area too who said nothing but nothing was made of her just sitting there doing her work. Even when he does come into our area for a general question and I do say hi to him, he will completely avoid me and ask everyone else but me. So what's his deal. He's upset that I didn't say hi to him and then when I do say hi, he avoids me???
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Old 28th July 2017, 5:35 AM   #10
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One co-worker came from our other building across the street to talk about a project with a coworker of mine who sits a few feet away from me. I'm sitting there working on my own stuff when he comes up to my coworker and pulls up a chair to discuss something with him. They just make a little small talk first and then right before they start discussing the project this guy who came over says "Well I hope I can get a word in edgewise with Mapper talking nonstop over there". I didn't say anything but I thought to myself "What the hell?" I'm sitting here working on my own stuff. You came to talk to this guy, not me, about a project totally unrelated to what I'm doing. I have nothing to do with your conversation. What was the point of bringing me into the conversation? Are you making a jab at me for being quiet?

It was just so weird.
Was it possibly an attempt at humour?
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Old 28th July 2017, 12:18 PM   #11
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Mapper I remember a long time ago on Love Shack that you complained over and over about a co-worker who talked a lot. I think those guys were making a joke about tha that maybe like they know how much that bugs you.
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Old 28th July 2017, 2:54 PM   #12
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Lol...

I have been in the flip side of this coin quite a bit. I'm overly sarcastic at times and will use it to try and engage people in conversation. Sometimes it goes over well, sometimes it doesn't.

I imagine he was just trying to get your attention, for one reason or another. I wouldn't take offense to it.
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Old 28th July 2017, 5:43 PM   #13
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Hey :)

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Originally Posted by Mapper71 View Post
Well there was another person sitting in our area too who said nothing but nothing was made of her just sitting there doing her work. Even when he does come into our area for a general question and I do say hi to him, he will completely avoid me and ask everyone else but me. So what's his deal. He's upset that I didn't say hi to him and then when I do say hi, he avoids me???
Well, whatever the problem is it's his. From what you say here he sounds like a jerk/weirdo.

In the workplace we often have to tolerate individuals we may prefer not to, in order to pay the rent.

could he be flirting?
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