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How to deal with a two faced colleague at work.


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

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Old 13th July 2017, 12:21 PM   #1
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How to deal with a two faced colleague at work.

So I work with a girl who is quite two faced. I've been told by others she loves to gossip, but I hadn't seen it for myself until a few weeks ago.
She came up to me wanting to vent about certain people 'I hate her' 'she's a b*tch' etc etc and over Facebook/social media she is super nice to the very people she has badmouthed to me. She is also super moody and you never know if she's going to be talkative or rude.
I know that if someone is talking about someone to me then befriending them, I'm not immune to the same backstabbing. I don't trust her.
I love my job and have no intention to leave but how does one avoid the crossfire of a manipulative, fake co-worker? I cannot handle that behaviour.
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Old 13th July 2017, 12:37 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by girlinNYC View Post
So I work with a girl who is quite two faced. I've been told by others she loves to gossip, but I hadn't seen it for myself until a few weeks ago.
She came up to me wanting to vent about certain people 'I hate her' 'she's a b*tch' etc etc and over Facebook/social media she is super nice to the very people she has badmouthed to me. She is also super moody and you never know if she's going to be talkative or rude.
I know that if someone is talking about someone to me then befriending them, I'm not immune to the same backstabbing. I don't trust her.
I love my job and have no intention to leave but how does one avoid the crossfire of a manipulative, fake co-worker? I cannot handle that behaviour.
Yes you can, but your showing weakness in front of this bully. Take the upper hand and walk away and get some coffee or tea. As her if she wants anything? If she does tell her politely she needs to get herself, why because you feel like your getting sick in the stomach and you need to go throw-up ( aka her crap in your face) So my point is you do not have to take any crap of her nonsense. A woman like her won't last too long in your company. You are right you do not want to loose your job over her BS! Come on girl you can do better than her. Think of her as someone lower than you. She doesn't matter to you it's all about you at your job not her. She has nothing to do with you at your job! Remember that! One thing never gossip at work, you can get terminated if you do.. If they catch you.. Just do your work and keep out of her way and you just function like normal. Don't let social media BS bother you at all!

Oh yes by-the-way Have a nice day at work today!
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Last edited by coolheadal; 13th July 2017 at 12:41 PM..
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Old 19th July 2017, 9:53 PM   #3
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People like that always exist in jobs. Never figured why they are there? Why are the workers professional? I think I've seen this more in retail.
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Old 27th July 2017, 11:16 PM   #4
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I have a similar co-worker at my job. We had a good relationship (I thought) at work. Then she stabbed me in the back and tried to make me look incompetent. On top of that, she created an alliance with another co-worker who hates me in order to take me down.

When all this failed, she tried to act like it never happened and be friends again. As if I'm stupid. I keep it strictly business with her now. No extra friendliness or openness whatsoever. This irritates her so and she went to HR. That didn't work either. She's an idiot.

Me thinks she hasn't given up though. She is out for blood. She wants to destroy me.
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Old 27th July 2017, 11:48 PM   #5
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What I do is use them to my advantage. For instance if I want a big raise or bonus I would tell the two faced woman that I was looking for another job. She would spread it around and my boss heard and give me a bigger bonus. The CIA calls this disinformation. You tell them what you want them to gossip about to your advantage. Sometimes it is fun when you tell them something that makes them look like a fool later.

I would be two faced right back at them. I told that woman that I got a big bonus because the company heard that I was looking for another job. The look on her face was priceless. I still use her occasionally but she is still in the same position and I am a VP. Life can be good.
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Old 28th July 2017, 10:53 AM   #6
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I have had my fair share of gossipy, disingenuous co-workers over the years and I just stay away from them. I don't let complain about other employees with me. I will tactfully tell them that I won't "get involved" and then I just remain polite and professional with them. But, I keep them at arm's distance.

Here's what you have to remember about these kinds of people; they give themselves more rope to hand themselves with every time they open their mouth. I guarantee you aren't the only person that is aware of this bad behavior. They will eventually upset the wrong person and then lose their job.


I will only take action against if they are threatening my career or damaging my reputation in a serious way. There's a big difference between them saying "OMG! So n' So is such a b-tch!!" and "OMG! So n' So totally dropped their ball on ___ project!". Or "WTF! I heard So n' So is having an affair!!".

On a final note, I keep my personal life very private. Very few people at work know a whole helluva lot about me and I like it that way. If they want to run their mouths about me, they have to make up random, outlandish crap and they sound like idiots.
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Old 28th July 2017, 11:15 AM   #7
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she sounds like danger, so play nice, but confuse her, tell her a load of BS, trickle truth a tid-bit a week

couple of comments back, the Urbanyst said that he had one that wanted to destroy him/her, so if she does not know where your chinks in your armour are, you are better off
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Old 28th July 2017, 1:15 PM   #8
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I think you just have to tell her oh I don't want to get involved in that. I mean you could literally say oh no I don't want in the middle of that. I have to work with these people.
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