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Spoke to my boss about a coworker and it backfired on me?


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

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Old 24th May 2017, 3:03 PM   #1
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Spoke to my boss about a coworker and it backfired on me?

I've never in my 20 years in the corporate world have gone to my boss in regards to a coworker but this time I felt this person was affecting my job. Very dismissive and unresponsive. Taking credit for work I was asked to do when I offered to help her she would barely acknowledge me. She is completely helpful to others in the dept but is rude to me. Can't even give me eye contact. This seem to happen right after she over heard a friendly conversation where I defended Trump about something (and I don't need a lecture about not talking about politics at work, I know that).

She overheard and went off on Trump, loudly swearing in the office about what a f'n baby and moron his is. You just don't say things like that in and office environment about the president or anyone....after that that she has been EXTRA nice to the women who I was having a friendly disagreement with and dismissive with me. I'm pretty sure this is the root of the issue (I didn't tell my boss that though). I just said I was concerned and brought up the issues I was having. She then went and talk to my coworker and told her what I said....shouldn't she have kept it anonymous? Well anyway, my coworker denied it and my boss came back to me and said my coworker was "shocked" and that this person didn't do anything wrong and there isn't anything else she can do and that is just how she is, and "it wasn't like she told you to shut up or anything". I felt like a fool for saying anything. Now this coworker won't speak to me at all and probably thinks I'm racist or something. My boss said we can all sit down and talk but it would just be them making me feel more like a fool so I chose not to. I saw some of her public FB posts and all were in regards to racists and people who voted for Trump are racists and people who don't support Obama are racists (she has Obama pics at her desk).

She is black but I didn't even think about her race....just that she was treating me (and others in the past who have complained) in an unprofessional matter. A friend of mine brought to my attention that because she is black is the reason she can get away with what she does and they will never take anyone else's side but hers because they don't want to appear racist. Really? Is this what it has come to? She has also been here 30 years and can do whatever she wants.

She gets her work done and always has to act as if she knows everything....but is on personal calls for hours a day as she does her work. Calls in every few weeks or leaves early. Always has an issue also with her, her kids, her house....and has to leave....and then everyone always asking how she is....And the funny thing is, my boss couldn't stand her (and my coworker didn't like her either) until she became our boss.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 26th May 2017 at 5:15 PM.. Reason: Paragraphs
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Old 24th May 2017, 4:34 PM   #2
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Her seniority is probably the main issue. But I would think that if you've never complained in 20 years, they'd have given your complaint more weight than they did. Is there anything in the employee handbook about not talking politics at work?
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Old 26th May 2017, 11:18 AM   #3
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Politics aside I think this was handled badly by both you and your boss. First of all you shouldn't have gone to your boss until you tried to resolve the conflict yourself, and by resolving the conflict I don't mean going out of your way to be nice to your coworker or going out of your way to avoid her. I mean straight up talking to her to her face about how you feel about the way she treats you. Sure it would be an uncomfortable conversation to start and it might not have changed things but it should have been the first step.

I'm not sure how you expected your boss to keep your complaints annonymous since you said yourself that this coworker is perfectly helpful to everyone else but is only rude to you. It wouldn't have mattered if your boss mentioned your name or not the coworker was going to know it came from you. Anonymity usually only pertains to accusations that are not personal. If for example you saw an employee stealing from the company and reported it then your employer might confront that employee but they would not reveal the source of the accusation. However personal conflicts cannot be resolved anonymously. Your boss should have had a meeting with both you and your coworker together rather than just talking to the coworker and taking her at her word when she denied any wrongdoing. Perhaps you could still ask for such a meeting if your coworker is still tormenting you.

As an aside I find it humorous that you and this coworker dislike each other so much when you are two sides of the same coin. She assumes that anybody who doesn't agree with her political views is racist and you think she gets away with bad behaviour because she is black. You lament 'is this what we've come to'. You are no better than her when it comes to race issues. Don't get it twisted. This is a personal issue you are having with a coworker, nothing more. If you feel like the scales are balanced unfairly in her favor it's likely more because she has been there for 30 years, not because she is black.
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Old 26th May 2017, 1:20 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adrian77 View Post
She is black but I didn't even think about her race....just that she was treating me (and others in the past who have complained) in an unprofessional matter. A friend of mine brought to my attention that because she is black is the reason she can get away with what she does and they will never take anyone else's side but hers because they don't want to appear racist. Really? Is this what it has come to? .
Quote:
Originally Posted by anika99 View Post

As an aside I find it humorous that you and this coworker dislike each other so much when you are two sides of the same coin. She assumes that anybody who doesn't agree with her political views is racist and you think she gets away with bad behaviour because she is black. You lament 'is this what we've come to'. You are no better than her when it comes to race issues. Don't get it twisted. This is a personal issue you are having with a coworker, nothing more. If you feel like the scales are balanced unfairly in her favor it's likely more because she has been there for 30 years, not because she is black.

She made it clear she didn't consider the person's race but her friend suggested it may be because the lady is black that she is deferred to.

There is nothing in adrian77's post that indicates she (or he?) has a racial bias.

Last edited by LivingWaterPlease; 26th May 2017 at 1:23 PM..
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Old 26th May 2017, 1:34 PM   #5
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adrian77, it seems that there are others in the workplace who don't particularly care for her, for who knows what reasons.

You mention that this is the first time in twenty years you've complained about a co worker.

Here is what I've taught my children as I've reared them: If you are behaving correctly and someone mistreats you it is their problem and you can be sure they have the same issues with others. It sounds to me as if that may be the case in this situation you've described.

It seems your boss isn't going to do anything about the situation so your only recourse if you want to continue to work there is to keep your head held up high, do your job well, and be gracious to all.

There will always be difficult people around, unfortunately.

And, sadly, there are those who have issues with anyone who doesn't hold their same political views and will try to get at them in any way they can.

I'm glad you can at least come here to vent and if anyone has a good solution for you other than what I'm posting that would be great!
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Old 26th May 2017, 2:10 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by LivingWaterPlease View Post
She made it clear she didn't consider the person's race but her friend suggested it may be because the lady is black that she is deferred to.

There is nothing in adrian77's post that indicates she (or he?) has a racial bias.
It's her wording, she didn't say her friend suggested it was because her coworker was black, she say her friend brought it to her attention, implying that it was something she didn't fully realize until her friend brought it up but now she's aware of it.

If she didn't agree it wouldn't have been worded that way. If someone said something to me that I considered false I wouldn't say they brought it to my attention. It's gets dark outside without my realizing it and then someone says 'hey it's really dark out' I might look out my window and see if I think it's dark outside and if I did I would say "I didn't even think it had gotten dark but then so and so brought it to my attention". But if looked outside and I saw the sun shining I would say "so and so told me it's dark outside but I don't see it, or I don't agree"

In any case instead of debating semantics I'll just go ahead and ask:

OP do you think that black people get away with stuff just because they are black?
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Old 26th May 2017, 3:30 PM   #7
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Does your company not have HR? Because that's who you should have gone to instead of your boss.
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