IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 I just started a second job waitressing at night. yesterday was my second day and I did not meet the manager until yesterday. Holy mother of all that is holy. I was speechless. I couldn't contain myself. I think the first thing i said to him was "Are you married" Which he is not. He has a 5 year old and he's 9 years older than me. So what? But is the whole mixing business with pleasure nonsense not allowed? I really would like to go out with him and get to know him. We had great conversation and He's a really cool guy. I mean I understand the secrecy if anything were to go on. Don't want any one to think I'm favored. But then again, what if he has relationships with the other waitresses. I'm getting ahead of myself here. I'm almost talking about marriage! All in all, Why is it so wrong to date my manager? I don't mind getting fired or quitting. Its just a little extra pocket money so If i lose the job no big deal. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 The good thing about a job like waitressing is that it's all about being sociable and creating a nice atmosphere. The ideal environment in which to nurture a flirtatious working relationship. Hopefully it'll get to the point where it's natural for one or other of you to suggest meeting up outside work - then take it from there. I don't think in this context that there's anything wrong with you dating your manager, but I suppose you might have to put up with the fact that some of your colleagues do. Especially if they share your opinion that he's a sexy piece of work. Even more so if any of them have had (or are still having) a relationship with him - so given that you've just started, a little subtle detective work might be in order. You don't want to go dancing onto someone else's turf...or if you do, you might want to check whose turf you're dancing onto first. These things can turn nasty. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 If it wouldn't screw you up financially to lose the job, or have to quit because of the manager or co-workers, go ahead. Unless it's against company policy, it's not wrong, but it is kind of risky for you personally, and you can figure other workers will gossip about it. I personally wouldn't do it, but at least you're aware of what may occur. Just be smart, and like Lindya said, make sure he's not the Casanova of his staff before you go out with him. I'm not into women in their sixties, so I've never wanted to shag my supervisor! Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 I bartended my way through college working in a restaurant and I saw many people come and go as they usually do with the turn over factor in restaurant staff. In my opinion there is a lot of shady relationships that go on in restaurants. I saw some very legit couples come out of it but mostly it was just a bunch of hooking up and take one down pass it around type hook ups. I would be very careful about dating a boss and I would be even more careful about one that was the manager of restaurant. You will have to totally trust him for it to work. If he is good looking then add the fact you are going to have every cute little waitress in the place flirting with him and doing what ever they can just to get the shifts and schedule they want. And that is just the ones who aren't even interested in him but rather a good work schedule......think of how bad the ones that are interested in him are. I base my advice on the fact that I have 3 sisters and what I would tell them in any situation. I would highly advice my own sister not to get involved with him. But nothing wrong with having some fun....just be careful if you are interested in more than just fun with him. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 When I was in college I waitressed and bar tended at a bar in town and dated one of each during my tenure there. Not the manager, who was a middle aged barfly, but I dated a bouncer, another server, and a bartender. Man it got ugly. THe bouncer and server got fired after we broke up, and the bartender and I, after we stopped hanging out, well it was just WEIRD. But if there's no company policy against it, and you don't mind dealing with possible jealous co-workers or other drama that may ensue (him cheating on you with one of your co-workers or something like that), then no problemo. I could NOT handle dating someone I work with. What if we were fighting, then I have to be civil to the damn assmonkey while we're at work. Hells no. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 3, 2005 Author Share Posted May 3, 2005 The only thing about my coworkers finding out is them thinking I'm getting favored. Then I'll be hated. But most of the girls that work with me are younger and immature. I'm only 21 but I have the mentality of a 40 year old and my manager sees that so i think I'm OK. Thanx for the advice guys! Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue ...I'm only 21 but I have the mentality of a 40 year old... You might be getting ahead of yourself there Anyway, be careful with this one, just like everyone said, and don't let him walk all over yourself. Attractive supervisor of young waitresses could be bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron You might be getting ahead of yourself there Anyway, be careful with this one, just like everyone said, and don't let him walk all over yourself. Attractive supervisor of young waitresses could be bad news. Your right....It could get dangerous.....But I'm a risk taker! Adventure is my middle name!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
friskywife Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 A while back I started waitressing at a nice little restaurant. The manager was awfully cute, but he was leaving and he apparently had a gf. Long story short, we hooked up after he left and then he moved in with me and then we got married. When his place closed down he had to come back to manage/bartend. It made for an awkward situation, and much jealousy on my part since he was a bit of flirt anyway. It was a relief when he found employment elsewhere. Just my two cents! Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by friskywife A while back I started waitressing at a nice little restaurant. The manager was awfully cute, but he was leaving and he apparently had a gf. Long story short, we hooked up after he left and then he moved in with me and then we got married. When his place closed down he had to come back to manage/bartend. It made for an awkward situation, and much jealousy on my part since he was a bit of flirt anyway. It was a relief when he found employment elsewhere. Just my two cents! WOW! See how things can work out! Thanx FW! Link to post Share on other sites
soccorsilly Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Hey, waitressing jobs are a dime a dozen. You don't know if he is interested in you but you say you are into risks. Try this--- Hey, look, if I ask you out, I am gonna have to give my two weeks notice because I know dating a coworker is bad business. So, should I resign? He will know how you feel, and if he is not interested, you can still work there and know where you stand, and if he is interested, it shows that you dont want to jeopardize your job or his and you can go from there and find another job. Don't date a coworker---bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Originally posted by soccorsilly Don't date a coworker---bad news. Not necessarily bad news all the time... I waitressed at different places throughout college. Off topic - at the first place, I started dating a waiter, it was very casual and when I broke it off, he took it very hard and got my name tatooed across his chest, about six inches each letter! I sometimes wonder if he still has it and what other girls think when they see it! I wouldn't compare the atmosphere of a restaurant to that of a corporate office. A lot of the staff dated each other, and I always asked my guy to help carry the heavy trays for me, etc. so it was all fun. At one place, one of the waitresses was dating the manager. It was all in the open, no big deal. Yeah, he got her the best shifts and she had the most flexibility with her schedule, but that was the perks she got, and sometimes I used it against him when I really needed to change my schedule and he would give in . The bartender was dating one of the waitresses, so he would get her drink orders first when the floor was busy and we'd be giving him orders at the bar, but again, there were no hard feelings, it was understandable...most of us hung out and again, it was a different atmosphere than the corporate world. I don't think any harm will come of it. Like you said, if it turns ugly, you can always waitress somewhere else! Link to post Share on other sites
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