Loud Brash Co-Worker

[simplybrill]

There's a bit of drama going on at the workplace. Well just one dramatic person. I have a co-worker, we'll call her "Bob" and bob's got this really agressive, bulldog kind of personality when dealing with people.

 

She likes to think she's very "keeping it real" I call her Bob, because I get the feeling she's trying to "act like one of the guys" so that people won't try to run her over, being a woman in a corporate setting. That's not what my problem is.

 

I just dont understand why she's so brash, so loud when carrying on a conversation, etc...with everyone. She likes to reminisce back to her days when she was younger and considered herself a "rebel," and prides herself on not being a "girly girl" which makes me laugh. She could be talking to you about the weather and the easter bunny and she'd sound like she was yelling it at you. It's like she's always "on" and trying to spark some kind of debate with you. And beleive me, she would- she's always got something to say about everything.

 

I am younger than her. And yes I wear make-up. And I don't yell at people when I'm talking to them. So maybe she sees that as a threat. Either that or she thinks she's better than me, and other women like me because she considers herself "low maintenance" and everyone else "high maintenance"

 

I was just wondering if anyone else has worked with someone who has this personality, and how they dealt with it.

[moimeme]

She could come from a loud family. She could be going deaf. She could think loud = fun.

[Mr Spock]

Some people just have louder speaking voices, really it's true. They're usually nicknamed "boomer".

 

 

Try not to take offence to it, as there probably is none intended.

 

 

Are there other issues at hand here? From what you've posted, it seems like you're taking an exception to her social style. Some people are simply different. Like people who are just "This is who I AM. THIS is who I am. This is WHO I am." and aren't afraid to speak up.

[brashgal]

Did I hear you call my name? Only problem is that I am often 'girly-girl', otherwise most of the above would apply to me. Well, I'm not so confrontational since I got rid of the husband - wonder if she has control issues at home - makes you want to be more in control at work I've noticed.

 

Some of us like more attention than others. Some of us are 'bigger than life' (in real life anyway). Enjoy the drama - it's free entertainment!!

[Swweth56]

We have a mix of personalities at my workplace (a law firm). Lots of passive agressive types and a few oddballs but mostly I am surrounded by softly spoken geeks. Its like law school crushed their personalities or something.

 

Although I can understand how annoying it would be to have a know it all around, I actually find the quiet types more irritating. I am partially deaf and it is SO frustrating having to ask them 3 times in every conversation to please speak up. I'm not asking them to yell - why the hell do they have to whisper?! I also just generally hate how bland they are - I try to be funny and entertaining when the mood calls for it and I enquire about how they are but sometimes its like trying to get blood out of a stone.

 

We can't all be extroverts but a little personality goes a long way.

[slubberdegullion]

Emptiest bells ring the loudest.

 

Could be that she's actually hearing-impaired. Could be that she thinks loud = funny like moimeme said. More likely, though, she's what is referred to as an "attention whore" and needs everyone's eyes (and ears) focused on her.

 

Seems like her "keeping it real" excuse is her way of butting her opinions into everybody's business.

 

I think we've all dealt with people like this in one context or another, whether at work or socially or even with family. It's just the way they are; strong extroverts who get their energy from the attention of others. It's likely that the rest of the people at work think she's abrasive as well.

 

There's diddley you can do about it. The only thing you can change about the situation is your perception and reactions. Just tune her out as much as possible.

[lindya]

Does she actually say things like "I'm keeping it real"? It sounds like a hilarious situation with enormous gentle p*ss-taking potential. If she makes sarky comments about you wearing make up, enter into the spirit of debate with gusto. The two of you are probably very different, but you might end up being great friends simply because of that.

 

If she's actually a rather unpleasant bully, then that's a different matter - but nothing in your post suggests that she's anything other than a harmless loudmouth.

[alphamale]

you must learn to deal with all types of people and personalities to be successful in the workplace and in life. unless "Bob" is doing something illegal or immoral or breaking company policies there is nothing you can do. modify the way you deal with her cause she won't change.

[faux]

I have not yet entered into a professional environment; I'll have to wait until I get my degree for that. I have had a situation with a co-worker who acted in a way which annoyed/bothered me, as well as my other co-workers. One day, I asked to speak to this person candidly. I asked why this individual chose to behave in this way, and if that person realized how silly such behavior was in the eyes of the other workers. The person changed quickly. People do not like being confronted with these types of questions.

 

If you can ask her about her behavior without fear of being punished for it, you might accomplish something.

[brashgal]

I asked why this individual chose to behave in this way, and if that person realized how silly such behavior was in the eyes of the other workers. The person changed quickly. People do not like being confronted with these types of questions

.

 

...and those of us who are truly brash will either ignore you or tell you to F*** off...we're not easily embarrassed.

[lindya]

Originally posted by faux

I have not yet entered into a professional environment; I'll have to wait until I get my degree for that. I have had a situation with a co-worker who acted in a way which annoyed/bothered me, as well as my other co-workers. One day, I asked to speak to this person candidly. I asked why this individual chose to behave in this way, and if that person realized how silly such behavior was in the eyes of the other workers. The person changed quickly. People do not like being confronted with these types of questions.

 

If you can ask her about her behavior without fear of being punished for it, you might accomplish something.

 

I think the key there is that the person annoyed you AND your co-workers. I wonder it you'd have been so quick to confront them if you had been the only person feeling irritated. Kind of easy to "confront" a colleague when you've got a pack of nodders behind you, isn't it?

 

And like brashgirl says, if the person who irritates you genuinely is brash they won't be remotely concerned by what you think. As you say you haven't got your degree yet. Whatever field you go into, you're going to be starting at the bottom - and if some fresh graduate came into the office I work in and started throwing their weight about like that, they'd very quickly find themselves going out to buy the whole team's sandwich collection every lunchtime and coming back to spend the afternoon doing a stack of photocopying.

[faux]

Originally posted by brashgal

.

 

...and those of us who are truly brash will either ignore you or tell you to F*** off...we're not easily embarrassed.

 

Wrong. Don't try to compensate for what you lack.

 

Originally posted by lindya

I think the key there is that the person annoyed you AND your co-workers. I wonder it you'd have been so quick to confront them if you had been the only person feeling irritated. Kind of easy to "confront" a colleague when you've got a pack of nodders behind you, isn't it?

 

I have not always had support in my judgment of superiors. Stop looking for excuses to shrink away from the problem.

 

Go to someone higher up than this woman. You make things more difficult than they need to be.

 

And like brashgirl says, if the person who irritates you genuinely is brash they won't be remotely concerned by what you think.

 

Then approach someone who will care what you think. You keep looking for excuses. Stop.

 

As you say you haven't got your degree yet. Whatever field you go into, you're going to be starting at the bottom - and if some fresh graduate came into the office I work in and started throwing their weight about like that, they'd very quickly find themselves going out to buy the whole team's sandwich collection every lunchtime and coming back to spend the afternoon doing a stack of photocopying.

 

I can't help but be convinced you think you know what you are talking about, when you really don't. You're overlooking the obvious: Social interactions in a working environment remain relatively the same, regardless of the education of the individuals involved; I never said I did not have some type of a degree at present. I never said that I have not observed the social interactions in jobs similar to yours; I have.

 

Pay attention. Life is life, and experience counts. Don't be foolish and assume I have none. One would think that a person possessing a collegiate education would know these things; I do.

 

If you have a problem with this woman, you need to do something about it. If you aren't going to do something about it, then you need to stop complaining. There exists a chain of command which you can utilize to your benefit.

 

Either say something to this woman, seek advice from a superior, or stop worrying about this. Asking if she has a hearing problem would be a good start.

[lindya]

 

I can't help but be convinced you think you know what you are talking about, when you really don't. You're overlooking the obvious: Social interactions in a working environment remain relatively the same, regardless of the education of the individuals involved; I never said I did not have some type of a degree at present. I never said that I have not observed the social interactions in jobs similar to yours; I have.

 

Pay attention. Life is life, and experience counts. Don't be foolish and assume I have none. One would think that a person possessing a collegiate education would know these things; I do.

 

If you have a problem with this woman, you need to do something about it. If you aren't going to do something about it, then you need to stop complaining. There exists a chain of command which you can utilize to your benefit.

 

Either say something to this woman, seek advice from a superior, or stop worrying about this. Asking if she has a hearing problem would be a good start.

 

 

You may have workplace experience and be in possession of a collegiate education - but your advice to SB, whilst delivered very confidently and assertively, was not good advice.

 

If Simplybrill makes an official complaint, it may spark off a grievance procedure that she could ultimately emerge from looking very troublesome and petty. Make a complaint about a colleague to the boss, and one of the first things they'll want to know is whether you want to make the complaint official. If so, it can be passed onto HR...but HR people don't like "unofficial" complaints. They throw up too many grey areas, and are difficult to deal with.

 

If Bob is disrupting other people's work, then it might be worth tactfully mentioning this to the boss - but making personalised complaints about Bob is NOT a good idea, and might be viewed by other colleagues as nothing more than "bitching" and stirring. At some point in her career, SimplyBrill might have a serious complaint to make. It will, however, be undermined if she has a history of making trivial complaints about colleagues.

 

I don't think, from the overall tone of your post, that you DO have sufficient workplace experienceto be providing realistic advice about a situation like this. Tolerance, as Alphamale suggested earlier, is vital when dealing with your colleagues. Obviously there are certain types of behaviour (bullying, harassment eg) that you don't need to put up with...but you do have to learn to tolerate and work alongside certain personalities in a way that you would not necessarily have to in a social/collegiate/casual working environment.

[brashgal]

Originally posted by faux

 

 

Wrong. Don't try to compensate for what you lack.

 

Ouch! that's a little nasty - what makes you think us brash folks lack something because we're brash?

 

Social interactions in a working environment remain relatively the same, regardless of the education of the individuals involved.

 

Having worked for a Fortune 100 company for 20 years now and for 6 or 7 other companies both big and small before that I can assure you that social interactions do differ, some places are more professional, some are more political - you need to weigh your environment to decide whether complaining or confronting will do you well or ill.

[slubberdegullion]

Ouch! that's a little nasty - what makes you think us brash folks lack something because we're brash?

 

Oh, it's not always because there's something lacking. Often it's just a character fault, like picking your nose in public.