jealous or ambitious?

[darkmoon]

Have realized that if you tell people of your ambitons, they get jealous, women to me who is a woman, used to trust the sisterhood, now not.

 

Maybe guys get jealous idk.

 

Does ambiton cause resentment?

 

How do I cope with the loneliness that I have now?

[Zapbasket]

People who are confident in themselves are comfortable supporting both their own ambitions, and those of others.

 

You ultimately can't count on people who let their jealousy overtake their bigger feelings. Every time you have a good day, in their eyes, it means they're having a bad day. Why would you even want to bother with anyone who needs you to be "down" in order to "support" you?

 

Maybe think of being open about your ambitions as a good weed-out tool. We all need to rely on others to succeed; it doesn't serve ambition to have those others be a bunch of jealous, undermining and unhappy and small-minded people. You cultivate relationships with the people who support your ambitions and invite you to support theirs; you weed out the people who get all pukey and cagey just because you have dreams.

[basil67]

Why do you assume the thing they are feeling is jealousy? A person can react negatively for many reasons other than jealousy.

[basil67]

Looking through your threads, you seem to have a lot of posts about people who upset you. It seems like you have far more problems in this area than most.

 

I don't suppose you're more sensitive/picky than others? I wonder if you're finding negativity where none exists.

[darkmoon]

People who are confident in themselves are comfortable supporting both their own ambitions, and those of others.

 

You ultimately can't count on people who let their jealousy overtake their bigger feelings. Every time you have a good day, in their eyes, it means they're having a bad day. Why would you even want to bother with anyone who needs you to be "down" in order to "support" you?

 

Maybe think of being open about your ambitions as a good weed-out tool. We all need to rely on others to succeed; it doesn't serve ambition to have those others be a bunch of jealous, undermining and unhappy and small-minded people. You cultivate relationships with the people who support your ambitions and invite you to support theirs; you weed out the people who get all pukey and cagey just because you have dreams.

 

the way my life is reduces supporters to just family, a weekly phone call, leaving me lonely, but you are right, supportive people are vital

 

my close reliable friend died earlier this year, the lynch-pin of our group, it dissolved after that, slowly...

 

are your suggestions a result of your own experience?

 

the loneliness is hard to live with

Edited October 18, 2016 by darkmoon

[Gloria25]

People who are confident in themselves are comfortable supporting both their own ambitions, and those of others.

 

You ultimately can't count on people who let their jealousy overtake their bigger feelings. Every time you have a good day, in their eyes, it means they're having a bad day. Why would you even want to bother with anyone who needs you to be "down" in order to "support" you?

 

Maybe think of being open about your ambitions as a good weed-out tool. We all need to rely on others to succeed; it doesn't serve ambition to have those others be a bunch of jealous, undermining and unhappy and small-minded people. You cultivate relationships with the people who support your ambitions and invite you to support theirs; you weed out the people who get all pukey and cagey just because you have dreams.

 

Exactly ^^...

 

Surround yourself with strong, confident women.

 

People - even women - who are strong and confident in themselves welcome other strong women. Petty people - especially women - are busy checking out other women and measuring themselves to them. Worst, when they meet someone smarter, prettier, and/or better than them - instead of getting closer and finding out what you did/do to get there, they get petty and wanna take you down with the rest of the petty "sisterhood".

 

Right now, again, I'm going through this. In my career field, positives are benefits, decent pay, and job security (well, to an extent). Negatives? Idiots who couldn't hack it in the real world. Worst, they are so delusional with grandiose views of what they "think" they are. Majority got diplomas from some diploma mill and they have very fragile egos.

 

Today, again, watching several of them...she's busy bragging about how she had to work on this/that. Dude asked her a simple question and her small mind couldn't grasp what the heck he was asking her. I mean, she literally is illiterate...but cuz she came in at the right time, was put in that position that pays what it does. I got a surprise for her. The turn over in that place is no joke. She probably won't make it long in that position. Well, then again, they just want a stooge there, so they probably will keep her there.

 

Then, they start blabbing about personal stuff - like anyone gives a flying F- about them. But, they feel that they gotta get people's attention. I guess outside of the workplace they have no friends? They're sad and pathetic people. Really.

 

So, I feel ya. It's lonely out there. I'm surrounded by a sea of losers and get tired of having to play down my intelligence, looks, etc - so they won't attack me.

 

Find meet-ups, people with similar ambitions - who got something going on for them. Ignore and forget the losers who wanna bring you down.

 

Chin up

[Zapbasket]

the way my life is reduces supporters to just family, a weekly phone call, leaving me lonely, but you are right, supportive people are vital

 

my close reliable friend died earlier this year, the lynch-pin of our group, it dissolved after that, slowly...

 

are your suggestions a result of your own experience?

 

the loneliness is hard to live with

 

I'm so sorry about your friend. When you have even ONE person in your world who truly sees you, and loves who you are, and genuinely wants only the best for you and from you and not only that, will gladly lend a hand in getting you there...then you see how precious and rare it is. I can imagine that you feel a bit unmoored right now, and are having to suss out anew whom you can trust and who has your back. Truth is, few people do. But not because they're backstabbers so much as they're too absorbed in their own sh*t to give you a boost.

 

You ask whether my suggestions are a result of my experience: Yes. And truth be told, I'm trying to learn how to deal with jealous, catty people (usually women, sorry to say). If you get upset at their attempts to bring you down, then you end up looking as petty as they are. But the truth is that their actions and negativity are HURTFUL, so the directive to "just ignore it" isn't so easy.

 

I'm now turning to meditation in an effort to learn how to let that kind of stuff roll off me. Because what I know in my heart is that the people who try to bring others down do so, truly, because they are unhappy with themselves. They see in you something they want to be or to have, and rather than admire you for it and work to win you into their circle of friends and close colleagues, they try to level you. I personally don't get it at all, and I can only imagine the kind of inner self-dislike and turmoil one must feel to behave that way. So really, they are the weak ones, the ones who deserve only your pity. But it's hard to pity people content to be mean rather than determined to learn and grow. Personally, if they all dropped off a cliff I wouldn't mind. But harboring that kind of dislike, I know, is just the other end of their same pole. Rising above, taking the higher road--I trust that that takes some spiritual awareness, inner quiet, and loads and loads of practice to call those things up when it counts the most.

[Gloria25]

I'm so sorry about your friend. When you have even ONE person in your world who truly sees you, and loves who you are, and genuinely wants only the best for you and from you and not only that, will gladly lend a hand in getting you there...then you see how precious and rare it is. I can imagine that you feel a bit unmoored right now, and are having to suss out anew whom you can trust and who has your back. Truth is, few people do. But not because they're backstabbers so much as they're too absorbed in their own sh*t to give you a boost.

 

You ask whether my suggestions are a result of my experience: Yes. And truth be told, I'm trying to learn how to deal with jealous, catty people (usually women, sorry to say). If you get upset at their attempts to bring you down, then you end up looking as petty as they are. But the truth is that their actions and negativity are HURTFUL, so the directive to "just ignore it" isn't so easy.

 

I'm now turning to meditation in an effort to learn how to let that kind of stuff roll off me. Because what I know in my heart is that the people who try to bring others down do so, truly, because they are unhappy with themselves. They see in you something they want to be or to have, and rather than admire you for it and work to win you into their circle of friends and close colleagues, they try to level you. I personally don't get it at all, and I can only imagine the kind of inner self-dislike and turmoil one must feel to behave that way. So really, they are the weak ones, the ones who deserve only your pity. But it's hard to pity people content to be mean rather than determined to learn and grow. Personally, if they all dropped off a cliff I wouldn't mind. But harboring that kind of dislike, I know, is just the other end of their same pole. Rising above, taking the higher road--I trust that that takes some spiritual awareness, inner quiet, and loads and loads of practice to call those things up when it counts the most.

 

Thank you again.

 

I myself am happy with me and who I am...THEY aren't. But there's more of them than you, so they gang up on you to try to make it look like you're the outsider.

 

Like you, I resolve to the same - which is IDGF.

 

I mean, they are so sorry. Recently one of them was like, 'Oh, so you're checking me out?', and I'm like WTF? Girl, get over yourself, when I come to work, I only have a few things on my mind and you're not even on the bottom of that list. Pleeze.

 

I had one previous coworkers who made a joke about mirror-mirror on the wall, where she claims Beyonce looked into the mirror and wanted to be my coworker. Really? Beyonce wants to be a over 50yr old, overweight loser who's done the same job for 20 years? The woman was delusional. Seriously, she is so looney that she thought Beyonce wants to be her. She had other stuff that she'd do too.