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I think I am inlove with my female professor


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I'm a female and my professor is a female as well and I think I'm in love with her. I know I'm not supposed to view my teacher as someone dateable but it honestly just happened. the minute I met her I was in aw. I never felt like this before. She remembered my name the second time we met and stuck ever since, she barely knows anyone's name and it's a month into the course. That made me happy. Ever since then whenever I go to class my heart beats really fast, I notice everything about her, she makes me nervous. she always looks so beautiful. Shes not married, she wears a ring though on her right ring finger. She's really young only 5 years older just graduated from grad school. She laughs at my jokes and smiles whenever I understand what we're learning. Not saying it's possible to ever be with her but I hate feeling this way. Not sure if she can tell if I have a crush on her but yeah I do sometimes stay after class to start up a conversation. I wrote a personal narrative and I mentioned dating girls and she loved it and wasn't bias. She said I was Hiliariously funny. She's probably not interested but if she is how could I tell if so or if not? And what do I have to do to get over her. Everytime I see her I just want to take her out And spend all day talking about literature.

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First of all don't feel bad or weird - women have that effect on each other quite a lot. It sounds to me like you're bscly just infatuated tho, being as I don't think you really know her and haven't spent much meaningful time w her, despite class. (That's not one-on-one meaningful time, but it's plenty enough to go crazy over her inside.)

 

I'm assuming there's likely some professional code of conduct in place that prevents her from having relationships w students, but if it was me I'd just ask her anyway. That's how you get answers. :)

 

Getting over her is another matter if you just let it stew ....you could try masturbating to her to see if that gets her out of your system but most times that actually works the other way for women and you just get more obsessed and need the real thing.

 

Is this so bad it's affecting your studies negatively?

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Yeah I guess you can say I am infactuated with her, and yes I never really had any meaningful time with her. Though, I would love to. She's a very intellectual woman and I wish I could get the opportunity to get to know her. However school related it does not effect my grades it actually motivates me to do my best and impress her really. Do you think she knows I'm into her?

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You sure this isn't like a doctor/patient type thing where a false idea of attraction develops?

 

I mean, she is like in a position where like duh, you respect her and look up to her.

 

I don't gey why some people have to turn "sexual" respect, awe, and/or admiration for someone of the same sex.

 

I'm always in awe of my favorite podcaster. I respect her opinions, life choices (well, not 100%), and gosh darn, for a 70 yr old I think she could kick my butt. Do I wanna have sex with her? No way... and, I feel the same way about other strong women I admire. Shoot, I once wondered what it would be like if I had a threesome with Angelina Jolie, but nah, I can't do the men she's into and I believe that her sexual prowess will take over and I'll look all boring in bed compared to her :lmao:

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Yeah I guess you can say I am infactuated with her, and yes I never really had any meaningful time with her. Though, I would love to. She's a very intellectual woman and I wish I could get the opportunity to get to know her. However school related it does not effect my grades it actually motivates me to do my best and impress her really. Do you think she knows I'm into her?

 

Probably, bc women's intuition. (I don't think I've ever not known when a woman was into me.)

 

How does she look at you? I know you don't have opportunities for long soulful gazes in class but do her eyes flash and smile at you when she looks at you? Is she flushed at all? Any fidgeting? Not all women react that way, esp if they're experienced at vibing back at women, but she might. Do you ever catch her looking at you?

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Probably, bc women's intuition. (I don't think I've ever not known when a woman was into me.)

 

How does she look at you? I know you don't have opportunities for long soulful gazes in class but do her eyes flash and smile at you when she looks at you? Is she flushed at all? Any fidgeting? Not all women react that way, esp if they're experienced at vibing back at women, but she might. Do you ever catch her looking at you?

 

Yesterday I caught her looking at me but, It's kind of hard to determine how she looks at me because she glances at everyone quickly when speaking. But there was a time in class a week ago where I had to sit next to a guy I don't usually sit next to and I started up a conversation and she was listening to me, smiled, and softly laughed at what I was saying. And there was also a time I corrected her about the literature we were reading and she kept talking over me and apologizing while laughing hysterically. It was like we were playfully arguing.

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Springsummer

I like to look at women. I can stare at them nonstop. heck I used to draw beautiful women when I was a kind.

 

but no woman has ever made my heart beat faster.

 

I used considered Angelina was the most beautiful woman on earth, at least aesthetically. but I have never had any erotic thoughts about her.

 

so I guess I am definitely not a lesbian.

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Yesterday I caught her looking at me but, It's kind of hard to determine how she looks at me because she glances at everyone quickly when speaking. But there was a time in class a week ago where I had to sit next to a guy I don't usually sit next to and I started up a conversation and she was listening to me, smiled, and softly laughed at what I was saying. And there was also a time I corrected her about the literature we were reading and she kept talking over me and apologizing while laughing hysterically. It was like we were playfully arguing.

 

Well fwiw I'd def take my shot in that situation. :D

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Springsummer
, I once wondered what it would be like if I had a threesome with Angelina Jolie, but nah, I can't do the men she's into and I believe that her sexual prowess will take over and I'll look all boring in bed compared to her :lmao:

 

wow. She fascinates women too.

 

She was indeed at one point the most beautiful woman on the planet, bar none. but, can't imagine her looks quickly diminish in a few years. She is definitely no longer that beautiful anymore, especially after the surgery. she ages too quickly.

 

sigh...life is interesting.

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There are some lines that simply don't need to be crossed. I smile and laugh and have great conversations with my students because 1. it's part of the job and 2. I want the class to be enjoyable.

 

As far as her remembering your name, where do you sit in the class? Do you talk a lot? That's how I memorize students' names. Whoever sits in the front, talks a lot, or has a distinguishing feature gets their name memorized the quickest.

 

There are definitely rules in place at most schools prohibiting staff/faculty from messing around with students. Plus everybody usually figures it out and you look like a tool for dating a student.

 

If you're going to say something to her, at least wait until the end of the semester.

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There are some lines that simply don't need to be crossed. I smile and laugh and have great conversations with my students because 1. it's part of the job and 2. I want the class to be enjoyable.

 

As far as her remembering your name, where do you sit in the class? Do you talk a lot? That's how I memorize students' names. Whoever sits in the front, talks a lot, or has a distinguishing feature gets their name memorized the quickest.

 

There are definitely rules in place at most schools prohibiting staff/faculty from messing around with students. Plus everybody usually figures it out and you look like a tool for dating a student.

 

If you're going to say something to her, at least wait until the end of the semester.

 

I sit in the last row all the way in the back, she immediately remembered my name a week after meeting me for the first time. I didn't talk at all when we met, she did an ice breaker, I said my name that was it. I would never think to say something to her during the semester, I'm not that naive.

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The fact that you want to take her out and talk about LITERATURE all day (vs. get her home and make sweet love to her all night) makes me wonder if this isn't more about just looking up to her as a mentor and an inspiration vs. a romantic crush.

 

Are you wanting to just spend more time with her, or do you WANT her?

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The fact that you want to take her out and talk about LITERATURE all day (vs. get her home and make sweet love to her all night) makes me wonder if this isn't more about just looking up to her as a mentor and an inspiration vs. a romantic crush.

 

Are you wanting to just spend more time with her, or do you WANT her?

 

I do see her as an inspiration, she has an amazing personality that I adore and would love to talk about the finer things in life including literature. She is someone I see myself being with. I don't see her as a mentor I see her as a romantic companion.

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I sit in the last row all the way in the back, she immediately remembered my name a week after meeting me for the first time. I didn't talk at all when we met, she did an ice breaker, I said my name that was it. I would never think to say something to her during the semester, I'm not that naive.

 

I think you're reading way too far into this. Nothing about what you said indicates that she is romantically interested in you. It just sounds like she's a nice teacher.

 

But I agree with what other posters have said about you possibly being confused about your feelings. What do you like about her besides her physical appearance? You don't really know her as a person, you just know the show she puts on as a professor.

 

You say she's really young, only 5 years older. That 5 years is a pretty big gap depending on how old you are. I'm 25 and my students are between 17 and 19 years old. Dating one of them would be desperation at its finest. Although I hear it's pretty common for male teachers to engage in such activities.

 

if I were you I wouldn't get my hopes up too high.

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  • 1 month later...
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I previously posted about being inlove with my professor a month ago, not much has changed. I'm more curious but realistic now, what i mean by that is she's changing and I'm starting to question her a lot. Realistic in a sense that I don't really think she's into me. She cut all her hair off, it's now leaning towards a stereotypical lesbian hair cut, she dresses like a hipster now (all black, dr martens, big jackets, she ditched earrings.) it's not enough to say she's a lesbian though. But, I still find her beautiful which is annoying because I was hoping the haircut would turn me off. She still laughs at all my jokes in class and I even once caught her saying I'm an ass under her breathe in a cute way not that I was an actual ass. I also recently cut my hair but not like hers, she admitley said she liked it once she walked into class. I'm tired of feeling this way, the semester is about to end but it feels like I'm preparing for a heart break. What should I do?

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Why do you feel that you have to "do" anything? So you find your professor attractive and have had eye candy all semester, that's awesome. It's totally normal to get 'crushes' on people throughout life, or have the occasional infatuation, where you find someone really attractive, their personality makes you grin and get excited about seeing them. It's a fun part of life, not supposed to make you miserable or freaked out. It's the sort of thing where one day decades from now you'll look back while reminiscing with someone and be like, "I had the biggest crush on a professor in college, lemme tell ya.."

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Teachers and professors always have students who have crushes on them. They cannot encourage that in any way because it is against the rules for them to have anything personal to do with students, who are younger than them and because of the conflict of interest it creates.

Teachers can't show favoritism. I mean, she thinks you're funny or whatever but chances are that's all she thinks about.

 

Usually students with crushes are just considered another problem a teacher has to deal with, so don't go thinking she's flattered or anything. Maybe she hasn't noticed and just thinks you're funny and hasn't noticed you are crushing on her, because if she did notice, she'd probably stop any unnecessary interactions with you. Any relationship with a student can cost a teacher not only their job but their whole career, so please don't be selfish and make this her problem just because you find her attractive. You need to just accept it's going nowhere and can't go anywhere and find someone else to focus on. Good luck.

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I'm a professor and would never ever dream of dating a student. First of all, there are likely regulations that stipulate she cannot date you for as long as she holds authority over you. The length of time varies from university to university, but the general rule of thumb is: as long as the student is registered on this campus, s.he is off-limit. A lot goes on behind the scenes of a university and even if you aren't in one of her classes next term, she could have to evaluate one of your files for a million reasons.

 

Also, there's the social shame factor: there is no way that I would want to be known as that professor who dates students. And my colleagues and I talk about this: most of my women colleague feel the exact same way. They would never date a student. Too threatening to our professional identity.

 

Term is almost over. Enjoy your crush for what it is: the appreciation of someone you like. There will be crushes in the future, hopefully on people who can reciprocate your feelings. That professor can't.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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It has been a month since I last posted about my female professor. I have made huge progress in trying to figure out if I have a chance with her or not. Before thanksgiving break I spoke to her alone in the class about an author I read because of her and she was so excited and happy. She went on about the author and how she would write me a list about books I should read. She even complimented my hair cut and said it looks really good like that. We parted ways and on the return of break we spoke again alone, this time it was a random conversation about books, school, work, how I'm funny and smart, what she did over break and I even lent her the book I was reading. We ended up taking the same train together as well. After that day, she returned the favor and gave me her book she was reading. Today I returned her book, she still hasn't finished mine but we talked more it was more personal THIS time. We also took the train again, and she brought up that she may go to a book event with the author we both adore and told me I should go too but I responded saying I would only go if she went and she said she would let me know. Can someone let me know if I have a chance or not? Because I might be over analyzing everything. What should I do? I have 2 more classes left and I will never see her again.

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Just how personal does she get with conversations? Does you know if she has a boyfriend? What does she do for fun?

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  • 2 months later...
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We were really close last semester, I got all A's, we shared books, we took the same train home and had personal (not related to school work) conversations. I flirted once or twice so it's not like that freaked her out, she still remained close to me. She mentioned coffee twice and even seemed hesitant in front of a student when talking to me. Finally the semester was over and a month later she contacted me through email to get coffee. I agreed and we finalized a date, but the day before the date we ended up rescheduling due to bad weather. A week passes by and I hear nothing from her, I seen her on campus and approached her and asked her what happened. She said she didn't realize I had emailed her back and that it went over her head that we had rescheduled a new date. She apologized saying she's been busy and a lot is going on and that she wants to make it up to me and promised to email me that same day but, four days have gone and still no email. What should I do? Should I keep waiting?

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Back off. She's playing with fire here & can lose her job. Wait until you graduate, then do whatever you like.

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Back off. She's playing with fire here & can lose her job. Wait until you graduate, then do whatever you like.

 

She's no longer my professor and this is my last semester..

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