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Work life effecting my personal life really bad. Please read.


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Old 24th March 2005, 12:47 PM   #1
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Work life effecting my personal life really bad. Please read.

Lately I have been noticing my personal life affected by my work life. I do EVERYTHING at my job. Accounts payables, receivable, enter orders, make sure orders are processed.........EVERYTHING!!!!!!! When the secretary quit they said instead of hiring another, they'd train me to do her job......big mistake. Now I'm the office manager, A/P, A/C, Customer service, garbage changer, filer organizer, copy paper remover, coffee maker, personal assistant, email printer, IT department, you name it, its me. I want to quit, but I cant, I'm comfy with what I'm making and I don't know if I can go any less.
When i go home at night and my friends ask me to do something i grunt and groan and kick my feel b/c I'm asked to do BS things all day. I snap at EVERYONE! For trivial things. I'm WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY more bitchy that i ever though possible. I almost lost my friend b/c I'm irritable. What do I do? Do I address it to my boss. That I'm only one person ( not to mention not getting paid for all those things.) And i cant do everything. Now we have this huge project due and since I'm getting paid salary, I don't want to stay after to help. *****, If I'm not getting paid for it, why should I? He asked me to come in tomorrow, Which were closed to work and I said no, and he said "This is why I gave you a 30 % raise in January 2004. No you gave me that raise b/c i do EVERYTHING (did I mention that?) The copiers, the scanners every single piece of equipment we have her, i run. Sorry I'm rambling
I HATE IT!!!!!!!!! GET ME OUT!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
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Old 24th March 2005, 2:56 PM   #2
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Wow, I think you are my twin. I feel the same way. I am the only person in a small office but I do everything. The same as you and it can get overwhelming esp at the end of the month. We don't even have off tomorrow which is Good Friday.

I am fortunate that I keep getting raises but I still get annoyed because I have my own problems and I feel like I am always handling a bunch of children when it comes to our employees.

Go home and take a hot bath and have a glass of wine. Make sure you are getting enough sleep everynight. (It helps) I never get to do much with my friends anymore either but I need the job so I must sacrafice.
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Old 24th March 2005, 3:29 PM   #3
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I do know how you feel. I have a rule here at the office. Everyone has to leave their work issues in an, "envelope" before they leave. There's also another "envelope" for problems at home. I always tell them to put em' in there, and they can have them back when they leave. Of course it's not a real envelope, but it's important for these guys to leave work at work, and problems at home, home.

My brother, (Also the Pres. of our firm), attempts to talk shop whenever we're together at Mom's or out shooting pool. I always remind him that we aren't at work, so if he doesn't shut his mouth, I'm kickin' his ass. It drives him nutts when he asks me something pertaining to work and I tell him I don't know or remember. It's not that I don't know these things, it's just my work issues are in my "envelope", and they'll be there when we come back on Monday.
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Old 24th March 2005, 3:30 PM   #4
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But I have this philosphy where my work life and my social life should never intertwine with eachother. I think my personal life should NEVER be effected by my work life? Why should it? He wants me to leave for my Easter vacation the next day and work on my day off? NO! i have plans. Should i tell him that I'm getting frustrated? If so How do i approach it. Also, Since I do everyhting. People fight over me to do things. One salesman wants his things done first. While the other wants his done first.
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Old 24th March 2005, 3:34 PM   #5
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You're just going to have to explain to your boss where your priorties lie. You should've gotten that out of the way when the secretary left. But now that that's water under the bridge, you're going to have to make it clear to him.

Are these salesmen over you? Why can't they do their own *****?
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Old 24th March 2005, 3:40 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue
But I have this philosphy where my work life and my social life should never intertwine with eachother. I think my personal life should NEVER be effected by my work life? Why should it? He wants me to leave for my Easter vacation the next day and work on my day off? NO! i have plans. Should i tell him that I'm getting frustrated? If so How do i approach it. Also, Since I do everyhting. People fight over me to do things. One salesman wants his things done first. While the other wants his done first.

Screw what they want. Deadline is priority. The salesman whose project is due first is priority. PERIOD.

As for your friends, they need to do their own chit. PERIOD. You're not the go-to-gal at home. They can do their own looking up of things and arranging of things and figuring things out. A simple 'nope, I do that all day long and I am not at work' will suffice.

People will treat you how you let them treat you.
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Old 24th March 2005, 3:42 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moose
I do know how you feel. I have a rule here at the office. Everyone has to leave their work issues in an, "envelope" before they leave. There's also another "envelope" for problems at home. I always tell them to put em' in there, and they can have them back when they leave. Of course it's not a real envelope, but it's important for these guys to leave work at work, and problems at home, home.

My brother, (Also the Pres. of our firm), attempts to talk shop whenever we're together at Mom's or out shooting pool. I always remind him that we aren't at work, so if he doesn't shut his mouth, I'm kickin' his ass. It drives him nutts when he asks me something pertaining to work and I tell him I don't know or remember. It's not that I don't know these things, it's just my work issues are in my "envelope", and they'll be there when we come back on Monday.
But is that what i tell my boss when he asks me to break my personal plans to work?
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Old 24th March 2005, 3:44 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moose
Are these salesmen over you? Why can't they do their own *****?
B/c no one knows how...."Oh its ok let Amy do it"...."she knows how".... That's our company Motto
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Old 24th March 2005, 3:57 PM   #9
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Gawd I know how you feel because my boss pimps me out to other faculty members like there's no tomorrow. Today she was having a meeting with the preservation director and brings me in to tell me that she is getting a mailing list of all these people from him blah blah blah. Like I am supposed to be excited by the fact that she piles more and more sh*t on my inbox, and this is yet another huge project. I get this expression on my face like "oh no you didn't, you b*tch"

It sucks when people trample all over you and disrespect you at work. Curvygirl, it would be great if you could demand respect like that but you know what -- when it comes to office politics sometimes you have to learn to smile and say f*ck you through your pearly whites rather than being confrontational. Otherwise you run the risk of being passed over for promotions, etc. The best way to get what you want done is to convince the higher ups that it was their bright idea to make your life easier. Sure it takes longer, but it ends up working out better in the long run.

As for me, I think my job is hilarious. I hate it and love it simulataneously. What would I Have to bitch about if I wasn't working here????
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Old 24th March 2005, 4:22 PM   #10
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I think you should plan ahead for the times you get really busy with big projects and tell your boss you need a temp working during that time.
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Old 24th March 2005, 4:24 PM   #11
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Originally posted by magda
I think you should plan ahead for the times you get really busy with big projects and tell your boss you need a temp working during that time.
Good luck! They just got rid of our student assistant and when I ask for help, my boss looks like I just asked her grandma to pull me in a rickshaw for 12 miles.
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Old 24th March 2005, 4:25 PM   #12
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Old 24th March 2005, 6:20 PM   #13
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Okay, you got a 30% increase when all of this happened???

That is a HXLL of alot. Usual increases are 4-6 percent. A 30% increase is like a promotion. Did you not ask him at that time what all of that would include and what and how long you would be expected to handle everything?

I do not agree with your boss asking you to reschedule your vacation. You should say, "Of course I'd love to help, but I have plans with my family and I'm expected- I'm sure you understand" "Perhaps there is another time I can assist?"

This is not going to be a popular opinion but in reality, alot of people are in your position. It's the real world. In small offices you are usually called upon to do more than usual because they usually cannot employ enough people to get it all done-without impacting the owner's profits. In large corporations because of downsizing this is the norm as well. I know I do the job of two people. Do I like it?? No. He could have told you to do it anyway or get fired and not have given you a 30% increase. The job markets are tough in alot of areas.

Are you due for a performance appraisal anytime in the future? If so I would discuss with him the increase in my responsibilities and the fact that I was being called on to do more and more. I would also say "While I was given a generous increase in January 04 I haven't been given anything lately to match my level of increased responsibility" Be prepared to give him concrete areas in which you contribute. I would at that time outline just how long I would be expected to do that and let him know that you really feel like you need some help to be fully satisfied with your position. If you're not due for an appraisal soon then schedule a meeting with him LATER when you are not so angry to discuss. You need to put it to him in a professional manner for him to be receptive.

As Moose says, you do have to put work concerns in a separate section and worry about them during work. Perhaps you could take a class on relaxation techniques??

Just my .02 as a boss who manages people everyday.
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