How to stop coworkers from chit chat and asking personal questions

[Offspring]

I work in a very people-oriented health industry job. We have multiple clients we need to care for (think 'nursing'), lots with complex health needs and care plans that we need to follow.

 

I am on different worksites every day, and have to work with a lot of different colleagues, most of which i am meeting for the first time.

 

Every now and then, i get a colleague who wants to gossip, asking me all these personal questions (am i single, where do i live etc?), and chit chat about crap.

 

A) i do not trust these people as they are gossipy, and B) they waste my time by constantly talking, which irritates me and distracts me from our tasks at work. I quite often have to take the lead at work, and them constantly talking to me causes me stress, as i often have to repeat myself 3-4 times, which is exhausting over 8+ hours!

 

I think i'll just have to remain completely professional (stone face) when they try to turn it to gossip and personal questions and not respond, so that they don't continue for rest of shift. I don't think they understand how busy it is for me to give directions while i am actually doing the same job. They don't speak good english either, which it more difficult, and it is frustrating to have to keep reminding them about easy tasks.

 

Any clues on how to stop non work related chat, personal questions and gossipy chat at the outset? It makes me feel violated and stressed out, as it adds more work for me. One guy actually talked non stop to me one night, despite i had my back turned and barely responded (just enough to be polite!).

 

It happened last noght, and i feel violated and personally drained. I am furstrated in myself for not knocking it on the head, and saving myself all the stress.

Edited July 5, 2016 by Offspring

[preraph]

So these are coworkers, not clients. As long as they're not anyone who can make or break you, then I guess you can just cut them off and tell them you're too busy to chat and if they keep up the banter, ignore them or tell them, Hey, can you give me some space. I'm trying to concentrate on what I'm doing."

 

But if these are people who can give feedback on you or whatever, you might benefit by at least pretending to be interested in them and switch the subject back to them. Nearly anyone would rather be asked about themselves than to ask you stuff.

[Offspring]

So these are coworkers, not clients.

 

Yes, co-workers only.

 

I'll have to be more cold and work focused.

Edited July 6, 2016 by Offspring

[Beach Guy]

Reminds me of The Office. When Stanley was once interrupted by a co-worker trying to waste his time, he immediately shut it down...

 

Jim: Stanley, I just played Dunder Ball with Toby. What about you? You got any games?

Stanley: Yeah, I got a game. It's called "work hard so my kids can go to college."

Edited July 6, 2016 by Beach Guy

[NTV]

I'm also a fan of telling a long confusing boring story that you can tell bothers the crap out of them. Here's an example:

 

 

"hey are you married? kids?"

 

 

"I had a kid once. Funny story there... we were walking along the beach, me and my friend, and we came across this woman with one leg sitting on the beach, crying her eyes out. And my friend, he's a nice guy, you know the type, he says 'miss, are you okay?' and she say, still crying now, 'I've... I've never been hugged!' So what what's my friend do? He bends down and gives her a hug and starts talking to her. Me? I went on to find a daiquiri bar, but here's what he told me happened next, cause he showed up like 2 hours later.... they were talking, all the where you from, what do you like to do, crap like that and then she just busts out crying again out of the blue. No reason it seemed like. And he was like 'wtf? what's wrong? did I say something...?' and she said 'well... no... I just... I just have never been screwed....' So he reaches over... picks here up... holds her close and looks into her eyes....and...

threw her in the ocean. 'now you're screwed!'

 

 

Well a few days later we were back at that daiquiri bar on the beach and he got served. right in the middle of a bar while trying to talk to this gal! that one legged woman, she was taking him to court for emotional damages. I figured this is better than what I was gonna do, so I tagged along, but we weren't in the courthouse long before the judge threw the case out... you know why? yup! she didn't have a leg to stand on. huh... didn't get to the kids part, but maybe later..."

 

 

.........and then just walk away from your coworker.

[Tayla]

Maintain your anti social attitude.

 

Most social folks learn how to be civil to others. Though it's not necessary , some ppl actually are interesting to collaborate with in a business environment.

 

Here's wishing you well in serving the public.

[joystickd]

I know exactly what you mean. I went through that and learned to either ignore or divert the conversation to something related to work. If they can't catch the hint then they are idiots. Ive even resort to saying I will not talk about my personal life

[ChickiePops]

I mean..if you work in a people-oriented industry then shouldn't you have one or two people skills? I understand not wanting them to gossip but do you have to be mean? That's a real question, no sarcasm.

[TheMets]

Maybe they are just trying to start a conversation, make the day go faster? I think the best way to deal with it is just say lie say that you are engaged/long term relationship, planning on having kids, blah, blah. If you don't already have that, that's what I do-I'm single with no kids and from now on when someone asked me that I just lie, the time that I told coworkers I was single-women were giving me unwanted advice about finding a man. Keep it short.