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Asking Out A Girl At The Office/Prejudge If She Likes Me


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I know office dating is typically frowned upon, but I've been extremely attracted to this girl for several months since I first saw her and am hitting a breaking point where I need to make a move because I think she's interested as well (you be the judge) and I don't want to let another opportunity slip by like I always tend to do.

 

Any tips on approaching a girl at work that I've never talked to nor know her name? Do I ask her out on the first conversation or play it slow and risk friend zone?

 

 

Back Story

We work for the same company but in different areas and do not interact with our jobs. I first noticed her a few months ago on one of the buses that we take to commute. One of the first few times we rode together we caught eye contact sitting across from one another and she smirked at me briefly before looking away. This has happened quite a few more times on the bus and also in the gym at work to where it's now a full retained smile when we cross paths. Just the other day in the hallway we passed one another and smiled at each other. She smiled at me for a whole half-second before turning her smile to the ground and quietly saying hi...what's odd to me is that I've watched her interact with other guys on the bus and she's doesn't seem shy so it's confusing. I don't know, maybe I'm blowing this up and she's just being nice/friendly, but I always think that and end up doing nothing. I'm tired of not taking a risk and just finding out, I just don't know where to start.

 

So any suggestions on how to go about this? Obviously, the bus is probably the only place to do it...do I just directly go sit next to her even when other seats are open? Not certain how to start from there. After the conversation gets going do I eventually ask her out or wait for another bus ride to do it? It's a 45 min ride so I would assume that I should wait for the end of the ride to ask so if I'm shut down it's not an eternity of awkwardness (worried about her feeling uncomfortable which I will feed off).

Edited by ecarg535
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Smiles are not all that meaningful. They are better then rudeness but that are not solely signs of interest. Do not sit directly next to her if other seats are open but do sit in front or her or behind her or across the aisle, some place close enough to talk. Then have a conversation or two on the bus. Get to know her. Find out if she has a BF. Learn her name if you don't already know it. Then ask for a causal get together. I'd say something like "would you like to grab a drink with me after work next Friday?" or something like that. Very low key. Then even if she says no, it shouldn't be too awkward.

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Just going by the smirk and the smile and then dropping her eyes and the fact that she isn't shy because she talks to other guys, I wouldn't interpret any of that as interest. She may sense you are crushing on her and be doing the bare minimum of politeness since she must do that because you work at the same place. If she talks to other guys normally, if she liked you, I'd expect her to be talking normally to you too.

 

But I agree with DOnnivain's approach above. Sit nearby and introduce yourself, see if she seems willing to talk or seems to avoid it by staring at her smartphone. If she's talkative, then volunteer your situation, something like "I live with a roommate" or "I'm divorced with two kids" and see if she volunteers her status. If not, ask if she's married.

 

And I would qualify all that with if there's more than a 10 year age gap, don't bother because it's not likely enough she'd be interested to risk the employment.

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