Professional Relationship Balance

[Mind-Chants]

How do you handle professional and personal relationships when some of your subordinates are becoming good friends with your fiancée? I hate that they know so much of my personal life than I am comfortable with. There's a significant shift in the way they are interacting with me in professional context since becoming friends with my fiancée.

[d0nnivain]

You tell your FI to downshift & put more distance in his/her interactions with your subordinates because it's causing problems at work. You also tell your FI to stop talking about anything personal with these people.

[Mind-Chants]

You tell your FI to downshift & put more distance in his/her interactions with your subordinates because it's causing problems at work. You also tell your FI to stop talking about anything personal with these people.

 

I already told her to keep boundaries. She says she tries but sometimes this is difficult especially when talking with good friends and there is a flow in conversation. They have similar hobbies which makes it difficult to downshift their interaction.

[GemmaUK]

I already told her to keep boundaries. She says she tries but sometimes this is difficult especially when talking with good friends and there is a flow in conversation. They have similar hobbies which makes it difficult to downshift their interaction.

 

Then you have a problem.

Personal life should be personal.

The only times I disagree on that in a work scenario is when one partner is being controlled, abused or mal-treated in some way.

[d0nnivain]

I already told her to keep boundaries. She says she tries but sometimes this is difficult especially when talking with good friends and there is a flow in conversation. They have similar hobbies which makes it difficult to downshift their interaction.

 

If she can't maintain those boundaries you either can marry her or you have to get a new job.

[Mind-Chants]

The options though logical but way extreme for the issue. I understand that it's a problem but leaving good job for it doesn't go well with me. As for my GF/fiancee, she has toned down but the awkwardness still lingers on. I have asked my fiancee to let them know (indirectly) that I expect professional courtesy at workplace. I am looking for some Win-Win-Win approach here.

[d0nnivain]

I have asked my fiancee to let them know (indirectly) that I expect professional courtesy at workplace. I am looking for some Win-Win-Win approach here.

 

 

Asking your FI to indirectly speak to your subordinates about how you expect to be treated at work is a Lose-Lose proposition. Work issues need to be addressed by you at work. Asking your FI to have this discussion no matter how casually undermines your authority. You will lose any respect they may have otherwise had for you if YOU don't nip this in the bud.

[Mind-Chants]

Asking your FI to indirectly speak to your subordinates about how you expect to be treated at work is a Lose-Lose proposition. Work issues need to be addressed by you at work. Asking your FI to have this discussion no matter how casually undermines your authority. You will lose any respect they may have otherwise had for you if YOU don't nip this in the bud.

 

Thanks for your suggestion. Quite rational approach.

 

My logic behind asking my FI to address the issue was that me talking with my subs about this would be me acknowledging that their friendship with my FI is affecting me. Plus I would be liable for anything I say or act at office under workplace rules.

 

BTW I had a discussion about this thing with my FI last weekend (was casual about the whole thing, so for the first time we had a serious talk) and showed her the replies here, I think she realizes the gravity of the situation now and said she would tone down. I trust her with her words. Hope things work out.

 

Sorry for late reply. Crazy Work load plus studies.