SlightlyMad Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 (edited) Got a little issue with my boss. For some reason she's been resistant on having team functions as of late (Lunches, get togethers, social gatherings) which is weird. It seems this all started when we added a new member to our team about 6 months ago. Ever since then, the team lunches stopped. Might be a sheer coincidence, but the new guy feels it is fault. Before everytime we went to our remote office, the team would always go to lunch together either to Friendly's, McDonalds, etc. Very seldom did we go solo unless there was a meeting or conference call. But, now I can count the number of times we've gone to lunch or breakfast as team in the past 6 months with one hand. Normally, I wouldnt care so much, but what happened today kind of angered me a bit. The team has been super busy the last few months and with the holidays looming and it finally slowing down, we thought it would be a good time to have a team lunch like we normally would. So, me being the most tenured member of the team, sent a meeting invite last night explaining that we could use this time to discuss the past year, upcoming year with projects, etc. About 15 minutes later, the boss sends us an email declining citing she is in the midst of having a very large dinner and would rather not have another large meal the day after. Valid point, but the point of the meeting invite was not to be gluttonous, but just so we can shoot the breeze. Fast forward to today, I was in a meeting, then came back to my desk, on it was a post it from the boss, "Took an early lunch, be back later, Go home". Nice that she was letting me leave early, but early lunch?! WTF. I thought she didnt want to go to lunch? Now before you think im making mountains out of molehhills and maybe she just needed to get some fresh air... On my way home, I passed by an applebee's and I see her leaving with a coworker from another department! Double WTF. Couldn't she have just been honest and said I made plans with this other coworker? I guess I feel insulted because my boss and i get along very well and i feel that she somehow slighted me. I feel even worse for the new guy because, he couldnt leave until she got back. And he didnt even know she left for lunch until i said something to him. I realize i sound super immature, but in reality my feelings are just hurt is all. Maybe her boss said the team socializing is now frowned upon? She could have just said that.. Funny thing is, since she never formally declined the meeting invite, she probably got the reminder of our meeting invite in the middle of her lunch.. Edited December 31, 2015 by SlightlyMad Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 She might be interviewing for a position in the other department or if it was a coworker of the opposite sex, maybe they are dating and keeping it low key. Either way I think lunches aside from the work crew are ok and her right. Your meeting request seemed last minute and also maybe since she is the boss you get her buy in on what are the preferable times for her schedule..It's probably not personal. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) Ps. If shes interviewing and wants a change its natural to distance yourself from associates as your occupied with the new and that makes it tricky to still be fully engaged with the current department. I suspect she's networking with that other associate that you spotted her at lunch with. Secondly what I was trying to infer above was...as the boss it's her role to set up meetings especially ones to recap the year, and before you sent the invite it would have been better to run it by her and make sure it aligned with her schedule etc. Im sure your intentions were good, not inferring you did anything wrong, but even though your tenured you still need good communication with your boss and those seem like her calls to make as to when the team can meet and take extended lunches and the discussion topics of said meetings. She maybe took the step to go to lunch on her own as an indirect way of showing her non buy in. She may have felt overstepped or there also may be things going on with structure changes or displacements (typical in January) that she isn't able to divulge. This would be another logical reason for her being distant. Edited January 1, 2016 by privategal Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 I doubt very much she has done that out of spite or to be cruel to you. Is it possible that you're taking it out of context? Maybe too worried about your boss and what she thinks and does? Instead of being so personable with her, keep it light and professional. You're there to do a job, not to be a friend and companion to your boss. Seems she is picking favourites and right now that guy is the flavour of the month. Try to ignore it and not take it personally. Link to post Share on other sites
Beach Guy Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Maybe the boss is now on some strict diet (raw, atkins, etc) that makes eating in front of others awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
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