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Why people who have kids think their co-workers (or anyone who is not intimate really) are interested about their children in the slightest?

 

I have a few co-workers at my new job that have one sole conversation subject: their children and what they do with them in their free time. Even when you ask about something totally unrelated, they find a way to make it about their kids. Ahhh.

 

I don't have children and, quite frankly, I'm zero interested in theirs. Don't people get it?

 

Why can't people understand that most people - mainly the single ones - don't care to be talking about others' children, seeing children photos, or make all conversations about that. It's making me dread talking with some people at work as I don't want to pretend I'm interested and deep down be yawning. Anyone feels the same?

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No, I don't feel the same - I'm happy to hear about people's home life. In fact, I actually ask people how their kids are doing.

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Maybe I'm a bad person?

 

Do you also enjoy seeing random people's children pictures on and on @ facebook?

 

Isn't it normal that I feel children are a personal thing and just utterly uninteresting overall to strangers?

 

I like talking about ideas and interesting facts, not about someone's banal daily life. But again, I am N (intuitive) in Myers Briggs and we're known to be interested more in connecting ideas than talking about banal life facts.

 

Just for the record: if they mentioned their kids once a month that would be fine. But every single convo?

 

No, I don't feel the same - I'm happy to hear about people's home life. In fact, I actually ask people how their kids are doing.
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No, you aren't a bad person.

 

Understand for some people, their only non-work-related interest is their kids. All their activities and plans revolve around their kids. They don't have hobbies or anything else that doesn't link back to their kids.

 

Be polite, ask questions about their kids since it's important to them, and after a few remarks make yourself scarce. No harm, no foul, and they get to discuss what means most to them. You don't have to be friends with everyone, but you should make an attempt to be friendly, engaged, and likeable if you want to be successful at your new company.

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People talk about their lives, whether that's their kids, their pets, their aging parents, their significant others, etc. Do you feel equally uncomfortable hearing about those topics?

 

In my workplace, coworkers support each other, inquire about each other's lives and families. One coworker doesn't, and she's the outlier. Not a bad person, but just a bit unfriendly compared to the rest of us.

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That's normal. What I find abnormal is to have one sole topic (ie. = children).

 

I am Ms. Friendly. I am probably the most friendly person you'll ever meet, and extremely social most of the time. I just can't take people who only have one subject lined up... and a especially boring one for me.

 

I consider myself supportive. I care about others and their lives. I don't understand why this thread is becoming about me lol. It should be about clueless people who think their children interests people they are not intimate with.

 

Come on. All my friends dislike people who keep posting children's pics on facebook ie. I can't be the only human being who is okay with seeing one picture but not 20 per week.

 

People talk about their lives, whether that's their kids, their pets, their aging parents, their significant others, etc. Do you feel equally uncomfortable hearing about those topics?

 

In my workplace, coworkers support each other, inquire about each other's lives and families. One coworker doesn't, and she's the outlier. Not a bad person, but just a bit unfriendly compared to the rest of us.

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Can people who don't have children also reply?

 

I have a feeling people who have children would be biased towards this subject.

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Can people who don't have children also reply?

 

I have a feeling people who have children would be biased towards this subject.

 

 

I have one child, who's grown and on his own now (32 YO), so if I'm talking about him (his school work, his school play, his baseball stats, etc.), there'd be some serious issues.

 

Perhaps because I once did have children at home, I'm not as bothered by it, because I realize once you do have children, they have a tendency to monopolize your off-work time, as well as all your money and energy.

 

I suppose co-workers who have children could leave them with a nanny so they could go skiing, sky-diving, parasailing, etc., to be able to have enthralling topics of conversation with their coworkers while in the break room

 

 

but, quite frankly, they're probably simply too tired and too broke to do that, just to be more entertaining and interesting for childless co-workers.

 

;)

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I don't have kids, and while it does irk me when some people with kids (not all) make that their #1 topic of conversation aaallll the time, I guess it's just part and parcel of life. It's normal that some people want to talk a lot about the most important thing in their life, and for some of those people it's their kids. I do tend to not engage such people in conversation as much, but that doesn't make me or them "wrong", we're just better off talking minimally to each other.

 

I pretty much have the same reaction to anyone who allows one thing to monopolize 100% of their conversation with others, not just kids. Some people talk about their job ALL the time, which is equally annoying to me, and there was this one lady I used to know who bragged about her past achievements in school all the time. :confused: I think part of being a good conversationalist is being able to talk about a variety of subjects, or at least trying to.

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No kids. I agree that I don't find it enthralling, but I don't expect them not to talk about them. Usually for ppl who have kids, their kids are their lives. And ppl naturally talk about their lives. You see the same thing to a lesser extent w/pet owners, or ppl married to their careers like Els said.

 

I don't find any of it particularly offensive, but then again I don't just sit there and listen to it endlessly. I'm not sure what else I'd expect them to talk about, honestly.

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Isn't it normal that I feel children are a personal thing and just utterly uninteresting overall to strangers?

 

I think that you find it boring because you can't relate. I find that when people ask me what I do in my spare time and I answer "I sew vintage clothes, cosplay and victorian corsets" their eyes instantly glaze over because they can't relate.

 

It doesn't mean that the topic is boring or should be shied away from, it just means that it's not something which engages you

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I agree with Elswyth. Part of being a good conversationalist is engaging your audience and mixing up the conversation to account for other people's interests. Some people can't.

 

I suppose co-workers who have children could leave them with a nanny so they could go skiing, sky-diving, parasailing, etc., to be able to have enthralling topics of conversation with their coworkers while in the break room

 

 

but, quite frankly, they're probably simply too tired and too broke to do that, just to be more entertaining and interesting for childless co-workers.

 

;)

 

I've taken my niece and nephew parasailing, zip lining, skiing, etc.About the only things their parents nixed were bungee jumping and sky diving. Children don't preclude you having other interests.

 

Most parents have interests beyond their kids and work too and bring those up in conversation. But, occasionally I run across women who literally have nothing else they can discuss other than their kids.

 

If I understand edgygirl correctly, she's not talking about the average person who discusses their kids along with other things in their lives. She's bothered by people who discuss nothing but their children...no matter what the original topic, how much of a non sequitur discussing their children might be, or the level (or lack) of interest displayed by the audience.

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Come on. All my friends dislike people who keep posting children's pics on facebook ie. I can't be the only human being who is okay with seeing one picture but not 20 per week.

 

If they are happy in their lives and wanting to share pics of their children, why begrudge them?

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If I understand edgygirl correctly, she's not talking about the average person who discusses their kids along with other things in their lives. She's bothered by people who discuss nothing but their children...no matter what the original topic, how much of a non sequitur discussing their children might be, or the level (or lack) of interest displayed by the audience.

 

If she'd said "why do *some* people with kids.....", then I'd agree with you, but she didn't. It sounds like she'd dumping all parents in the one basket.

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...If I understand edgygirl correctly, she's not talking about the average person who discusses their kids along with other things in their lives. She's bothered by people who discuss nothing but their children...no matter what the original topic, how much of a non sequitur discussing their children might be, or the level (or lack) of interest displayed by the audience.

 

Oh, well, then...yes, one-trick ponies are boring in any situation, whether it be they can only discuss their lack of dating successes all day while at their work desk, discussing their ability to do 200 push-ups while in the grocery line, how they run a 4 minute mile and are training for a marathon every weekend while doing their banking, etc.

 

Yeah...that's kind of a given. There's not a lot others can do about "socially awkward" people...if they weren't, they wouldn't have been labeled as such.

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No kids here.

 

I think Jen pointed out your problem:

 

I don't find any of it particularly offensive, but then again I don't just sit there and listen to it endlessly.

 

If you don't like it, don't take it. People don't bother me with endless talk about their kids, but that's because I have enough conversation skills to either turn it to something I like (oh you wanna talk about your kids? do they play video games, because I can talk all day about that.) or politely change the subject.

 

Or if it really bothers me, I can just... stop talking to them. And no one's forcing you to follow those facebook users. The first thing I usually do when I add a person who friend-requested me on facebook is unfollow them.

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If she'd said "why do *some* people with kids.....", then I'd agree with you, but she didn't. It sounds like she'd dumping all parents in the one basket.

 

Really? Let's go back to how she worded the issue.

 

From the OP:

...I have a few co-workers at my new job that have one sole conversation subject: their children and what they do with them in their free time. Even when you ask about something totally unrelated, they find a way to make it about their kids. Ahhh.

A "few" doesn't equal all!

 

From post #6:

That's normal. What I find abnormal is to have one sole topic (ie. = children).
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Alright - going back to my Myers Briggs type, I couldn't care less about activities, they bore me to death as much as children's talk do. I see work as an environment to share interesting ideas, how to change the company, the world, how to make things better, to discuss an interesting exhibition or current news and whatnot. I mean, while of course I care about people's background to a degree as I am a people's person, there's a limit on how much I can hear about someone's children.

 

Basically I am bored to death when I hear from mundane activities (being that children or skying in Switzerland - I personally put them in the same yawning inducing category). I guess I need to be around people who provide me intellectual stimulation. Maybe this company (Fortune 500) has more of the traditional boring type of people who are content with their jobs and can stay on it for 5 full years without getting promoted day in and day out and just do their job and talk about their children :rolleyes:

 

 

 

I suppose co-workers who have children could leave them with a nanny so they could go skiing, sky-diving, parasailing, etc., to be able to have enthralling topics of conversation with their coworkers while in the break room

 

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Well yes those are things I do as well. Still, it puzzles me how someone can possibly think their children are of any interest to anyone else beyond talking about them once a month -- max.

 

No kids here.

 

I think Jen pointed out your problem:

 

If you don't like it, don't take it. People don't bother me with endless talk about their kids, but that's because I have enough conversation skills to either turn it to something I like (oh you wanna talk about your kids? do they play video games, because I can talk all day about that.) or politely change the subject.

 

Or if it really bothers me, I can just... stop talking to them. And no one's forcing you to follow those facebook users. The first thing I usually do when I add a person who friend-requested me on facebook is unfollow them.

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Alright - going back to my Myers Briggs type, I couldn't care less about activities, they bore me to death as much as children's talk do. I see work as an environment to share interesting ideas, how to change the company, the world, how to make things better, to discuss an interesting exhibition or current news and whatnot...

 

Oh, well, then [again]...you're just wired differently than some people.

 

Some people (like myself, for example) spend 8+ hours/day actually doing work (not just talking about it), so the last thing I want to do while at work, or while on break from it, or on my personal time

 

is to talk more about what it is I already put in enough hours doing, very well.

 

 

Hang out with other like-minded people; the people who enjoy talking about anything but work (which may include their children) won't miss your [bored and disinterested] company, anyway...so it's a win/win for all concerned.

 

 

:)

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But here's the thing. I have a clue (I'd like to think so) and I try not to talk about specific subjects to people who can't relate.

 

I.e. I am into subcultures but have a really good friend who is preppy. I never talk about the synth/industrial events I go to with my fellow goth/alternative friends. I know she will be weirded out and won't relate. Also, it's boring to talk about a topic that someone specific won't relate. I try not to do it. Why can't most people do it specifically when it come to their kids? Ahhhh.

 

I think that you find it boring because you can't relate. I find that when people ask me what I do in my spare time and I answer "I sew vintage clothes, cosplay and victorian corsets" their eyes instantly glaze over because they can't relate.

 

It doesn't mean that the topic is boring or should be shied away from, it just means that it's not something which engages you

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I mean, of course I like to discuss people's lives and not only work stuff. Basically, discuss ideas (it could be that they're sewing or crocheting in their free time, whatever). But not when their lives are 100% related to one subject only (ie kids - specaillly one I can't relate to that much despite having nephews I'd kill for) a 100% of their free time :lmao: It seems some people only have that subject for 18 years until the kids leave the house.

 

I mean, I don't talk 100% of the time about 1 subject. It's plain boring!!! No matter what that subject may be.

 

Oh, well, then [again]...you're just wired differently than some people.

 

Some people (like myself, for example) spend 8+ hours/day actually doing work (not just talking about it), so the last thing I want to do while at work, or while on break from it, or on my personal time

 

is to talk more about what it is I already put in enough hours doing, very well.

 

 

Hang out with other like-minded people; the people who enjoy talking about anything but work (which may include their children) won't miss your [bored and disinterested] company, anyway...so it's a win/win for all concerned.

 

 

:)

 

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I mean, of course I like to discuss people's lives and not only work stuff. Basically, discuss ideas (it could be that they're sewing or crocheting in their free time, whatever). But not when their lives are 100% related to one subject only (ie kids - specaillly one I can't relate to that much despite having nephews I'd kill for) a 100% of their free time :lmao: It seems some people only have that subject for 18 years until the kids leave the house.

 

I mean, I don't talk 100% of the time about 1 subject. It's plain boring!!! No matter what that subject may be.

 

I agreed with you; one-trick ponies are boring, regardless of the topic AND regardless of the venue.

 

"Socially awkward" people are labeled that for a reason. If you're not comfortable with "socially awkward" people, don't associate with them.

 

If you have to, make Alanis Morisette's "I am not the doctor" your mantra.

 

 

;)

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dreamingoftigers

Before I had my daughter I felt the same way.

 

I really couldn't understand the fixation.

 

It was more like, "oh yeah, kids are nice and all but.....whatever. Why the overfocus?"

 

I felt the same way about dogs before I had dogs (had dogs before kids).

 

Who cares about your dog?

 

Now I care. I just do. My friend recently had a baby and she's a cutie. I even watched a 26 second video of her in a swing.

 

My Uncle is fixated on the stock market. He can drone on for (literal) HOURS about it. He's also totally nuts. And it is beyond boring.

 

People just have their goals and focuses.

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