What job should I take? early 40's

[davema]

Last year I posted about following a dream career versus just following a regular old day-job career for a safer route to support the Family.

 

 

I chose the latter. I know it's safer.

 

 

But I'm stuck in a mundane job that is capped. Not going anywhere up salary-wise and I don't have a degree. Find something else similar?

 

 

I'm also afraid to take chances on other jobs or start lower in income because I'm not making a ton to begin with. Living paycheck to paycheck as it is.

 

 

*I'm dealing with some slight depression too, over the fact that I'm not doing what I love for a career and haven't stepped up my game in doing my best in a safe career choice and at over 40 years old, it's embarrassing. I should be making way more to support my family than I do - we're doing just ok. Not lavish by any means, we don't own a home, but doing ok.

[GemmaUK]

What do you do now and what is your dream job?

 

What skills/experience do you have for the dream job?

[davema]

I work a sales desk for a product in an industry that is boring to me.

 

 

But My dreams are in Photography and Filmmaking. I'm good at it. But I've never been able to establish myself in that Professional kind of way with a website and getting paid because I'm not schooled in it, I'm self taught. Anything I've ever done, I've done for free for friends or for the exposure. Only a handful of gigs have been paid projects. But again, I'm self taught, not schooled. So I never pursued it very hard because I was I have no certificates to back it up and was always poor and needed a solid job and couldn't get serious gigs. So I opted to get a solid job and then got married and then had kids. Same kind of story as others have experienced.

 

 

Now that I'm married and a family man, I do it for fun here and there and always get told that I'm so good at it but I need to make money and the sales desk is solid however, It's just not going anywhere up for me. My salary is stagnant. No hopes of buying a house ever, especially if I stay here.

Edited October 8, 2015 by davema

[GemmaUK]

Do you know anyone in the industry who could critique your work? Maybe even a photography tutor?

 

I know someone (I'll call him Dave) who chose to do a portrait photography course purely so that he could be the one taking photos for the company he worked for (he worked in Marketing at the time).

He absolutely loved the course and it taught him a lot. I helped him with recruiting subjects and all the peripherals I actually learned a lot too about lighting and I also did most of the direction.

 

Before the internet was established and in everyone's home we turned it into a bit of a sideline but the most work was weddings which then took up a whole weekend.

Some of the less time consuming stuff was family photography but again it would mean an afternoon at a house

Now with the net established though you could advertise (on FB even) but always remember to watermark everything!! If this is something you want to do.

 

But..

 

Dave ended up being made redundant - his boss was hot headed and we kind of knew it'd happen one day.

 

Dave had done a very small amount of IT where he'd worked (due to the boss having hot headedly sacked the IT guy!) and having job searched and feeling uninspired by marketing he gingerly decided to set his own business up doing IT as he quite liked it.

He had and still has no qualifications at all.

His business has been going for over ten years now and doing well.

 

The photography course and resultant bookings here and there taught him more than photography - it taught him networking skills.

He also, just before the photography course went on a presentation skills course. He was sent on it by his then boss. Dave always ran down any of these kind of courses which I was sent on where I worked (I went on various courses - management skills, delegation, conflict resolution) but they all benefitted me hugely.

The presentation skills course changed Dave quite dramatically and he saw it in himself too.

 

Photography and film making is a tough industry to get into but right now you work a mundane sales desk.

 

Your dream may not come true but your two options here are worlds apart.

You already do sales.

Think about some courses (you could ask your employer what outside training is offered). They can actually open up a lot more ideas and show you what your strengths are.

 

You are at a good age for a serious change.

Dave started his business when he was 36.

 

I am not suggesting that you drop everything with a family to look after but there are other options you could look into and help (courses) you can get to open your eyes up somewhere between the mundane and the dream.

 

Home ownership - seems to be becoming a thing of the past - certainly in the UK. It's impossible for most to afford. There are different schemes to help but it's still tough.

Don't ever see yourself as less than by not having your own home.

[pondhawk]

I could have written your post word for word, except I'm female.

 

I know the struggle you're facing....doing something you hate just to pay the bills. Or most of the bills anyway.

 

You can't quit your job and go back to school because not only can you not afford to not work, but you cannot afford to start a student loan (providing you live in the US) for who knows if you'll be able to land a job after school anyway.

 

I do feel sorry for the all of the debt enslaved twenty year olds leaving college owing $75,000 not able to find work. Can you imagine paying something like a mortgage and you don't even have adequate work? And thanks to the gov, that dept will only grow and never be forgiven.

 

Anyway, as far as being 40 something and feeling stuck, I just wanted to say that I don't know the answer, but know that you are not alone in your struggles. I also have developed a mild form of depression which I have been very successful at hiding from family and friends. I have developed my faith and rely on God's help. With His strength, it is easier to endure life.

 

Wine helps too....LOL...but I have to limit that!

 

Perhaps you can keep doing your passion and submit your work to magazines and local area television stations for free and maybe they will take notice at your skill and ask you to do freelance work? Never stop doing your passion.

 

Good luck and best wishes to you.

[Els]

I think that being able to do what you love is amazing - but realistically not everyone can afford to drop everything to do what they love. With a family to support, it's completely understandable that you want some rough guarantee of an income before switching.

 

I think you should stay in your job and try to do some photography on the side as a freelancer to build up your portfolio and reputation. It's always slow to start, so it may take several years, but at the end of it you might have a chance of making the switch without risking your family's future. If you were single or had no kids my suggestion might have been different, but in your case I think it's pretty clear that you shouldn't quit your job.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am the exact opposite of you. I have a career I always dreamed of. I get payed to do what I would do as a hobby and I get to travel the world as a part of my job (my other passion).

 

But I am single and have no kids. It can be lonely but I also know that if I had a family, I wouldn't have the freedom or time to do what I do now. I also wouldn't be able to live contract to contract and would likely go a safer and more boring route.

 

I didn't master plan it this way, this is the direction life kind of pushed me into.

 

My point is, very, very few people have it all. You have a family you love, so you can't just do film making and photography on a whim. As other poster suggested, do it as a hobby and keep your bill paying job. Learn to be happy with what you have. That's the key.

[froz]

I agree with Eternal Sunshine. We are all too easily conditioned by society, media and most of all our peers, friends, family about career/future etc. But you have to do what is right for you, always. What makes you happy. Life is too short for anything else.

[Els]

I agree with Eternal Sunshine. We are all too easily conditioned by society, media and most of all our peers, friends, family about career/future etc. But you have to do what is right for you, always. What makes you happy. Life is too short for anything else.

 

I really don't think this is what ES said...

 

I think it'd be incredibly irresponsible for the OP to just quit his job and embark on his hobbies if they have children to support, unless his wife makes enough to support everyone and is expressly on board with him doing so. You can't just do whatever makes you happy if you have children to think of.

[MightyPen]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T48Z3lt8ADY

 

 

Mr. Hoge has some good advice.

 

Yes, keep pursuing the career that will make you happy. Life is too short to spend 2000 hours per year (or more) doing something we hate.

 

But, I'd suggest pursuing that in your "off hours," which means you are busting your hump for the next couple of years gaining contacts and work experience while still working your day job.

 

It's like one of those action movie scenes where the good guy is faced with jumping from building to building to chase the bad guy. Don't do that!! You can't jump like Jeremy Renner or (even) Tom Cruise. Find a way to bring that next building closer, and take a more moderate leap.

 

(Upon reflection, I should have used an example that didn't involve stationary objects)