Should I continue with school or quit?

[MisUnderstood1]

I've social anxiety and struggling with sch as a result. Two days ago, in one class (I'm doing a grad program), the entire class was dedicated to group work. We're to present the findings of the group work in the next class. To choose the group, the Prof bought us different candy and asked us to take one at the beginning of class. The pple who took the same candy would be in the same group. As luck would have it, I had spilled my top about half hour earlier with a drink, and coupled with my social anxiety, I was embarrassed to get up. I just left about 5 mins later and felt awful. The Prof didn't see me leave but I'm sure she obviously realized it later. She kinda looked at me when I didn't get up to take a candy, so she knew. The next day, some of my classmates were looking at me; Idk if she made a comment or something after I left. I don't want her to think I didn't want to participate or that I'm better than everyone else or something, which's not the case at all. The assignment is 5% (the group part and the presentation taking place next week) of our final mark, so I've already lost that. I will have to miss next class b/c it would be bad and embarrassing for me to be the only person sitting while everyone else is getting up to present with their group. Idk how to rectify the situation now, especially with regards to the Prof. I don't want her to think I don't care about the course. She teaches two of our designated courses. It's a close-knit program and I'm sure the Profs all talk to each other. The program advisor/co-ordinator also happens to be a Prof for another class. I don't want them to start talking about me or think I'm not serious. Besides the public-speaking/group-work/presentation aspect, I really like my courses and the program But idk what to do now. I've thought about sending her an email, but idk what I would say. I've thought about explaining that I've SA and it's not that I didn't want to participate in her assignment, but will be getting involved in the next (we've another group presentation before the end of the semester). Not sure if we've another before then.

 

I've thought about doing an online program instead in January, so I won't have to be around people (this program and field is also more suited for quiet pple/introverts) but I don't really want to leave this program. While the classes involve many group work, you can find a solitary position when in the workforce, I mean, one that doesn't involve working with pple all the time and this is part of the reason why I'm trying to stick with it. I tend to run from social situations, but I don't want to quit this time. All the classes are in the same room, with the same pple everyday. I'm very quiet and don't fit in with my classmates who're all extroverted and have form cliques, while I'm the loner, so it's becoming a bit unbearable for me. I enjoy what I'm learning, however. It's just the group work, presentations and cliquey-aspect I'm not keen on. I also have a resting bitch face, so when I do try to talk to people they don't respond too well (and this is not in my head at all) or misjudge me for not being a nice person, and this worsens my SA or makes social situations even harder to deal with because pple don't respond too nicely when I do try to talk to them.

Edited September 20, 2015 by MisUnderstood1

[newmoon]

my brother has severe schizophrenia coupled with paranoid delusions. he somehow managed to get through a BS in Accounting. he, like you, had lots of issues and at times he thought his classmates were following him, taunting him, etc. he thought his professors were aliens, you name it. all kinds of crazy stuff. he did a few things. one, kept going because he really wanted to achieve this for himself. two, he went to the university medical offices or whatever it was on campus that handles medical, and he disclosed to them what he had. that way it's on record with the university that you have a medical issue. he also told some professors when it was clear he was doing badly in their class - he would be out sick a lot and needed to explain why. i don't think he ever told classmates though. he told his professors, the ones he decided to tell, in office hours and i know he also emailed them when he needed to. you should stay in school, but not be afraid to tell certain professors when the situation calls for it. they can often find an alternative assignment for you. i wouldn't worry over making friends with the classmates though, that'll just increase the pressures you already feel. concentrate on improving your SA outside of school and let the classmates think whatever they want, even if they think you're a loner or whatever. that could also just be your SA playing tricks on you; people around us are rarely thinking about us.. they are thinking of themselves and how they appear.

Edited September 20, 2015 by newmoon