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Husband just got fired for stealing


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Old 27th July 2015, 12:50 PM   #1
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Husband just got fired for stealing

I can't believe I'm writing this.

My husband just got fired this morning for taking a few older phones from work and selling them off on eBay.

He was one of the two IT managers at the company, so he had his hands in everything in terms of access and inventory. He didn't think they would miss them because they were already deploying newer ones. He was caught because one of the people he sold a phone to had trouble activating it, so they contacted the carrier, and turned out the phone was registered to the company. This happened last Friday.

This morning first thing, HR was on premises and they fired him. He packed up his stuff and they escorted him out of the building.

I took the rest of the day off to come home and support him, but he's obviously not in a good state of mind and asked to be left alone. So, instead, here I am writing this.

I feel so shocked, and kind of angry, that he jeopardized our livelihood like this. He was fired for cause, so he is not eligible for unemployment. I'm an IT manager as well, and I make a good living, but we will not be able to make ends meet without his income.

Has anyone been in this kind of situation before? Does anybody have any kind of advice to offer?

Thank you,

-A
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Old 27th July 2015, 1:05 PM   #2
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So sorry to hear you're going through this. I can't help wondering....your husband is presumably a bright man and he understands this was theft....did he do a rational cost/benefit analysis on this and decide that the expectation value was worth it? Is this in or out of character for him? IT people have so much potential power for good and for evil that it's only to be expected that documented theft would result in termination. Does he understand that he did wrong, and why his employer responded by firing him?
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Old 27th July 2015, 1:08 PM   #3
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Yes, say more about what might cause him to do this. Is he someone who is generally a bit dishonest and sneaky, or is this very out of character? Did he think the phones were just going to be thrown out and it was no big deal? What was the thought process?
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Old 27th July 2015, 1:12 PM   #4
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He sounds like an entitled a-hole.

My exH use to rip off his employers too. He never sold the stuff. He kept it for himself.

I feel sorry for you because I think you may have married a loser.
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Old 27th July 2015, 1:35 PM   #5
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He was fired with cause. Given today's employment climate, and the difficulty even qualified, "laid off" employees have finding jobs, your husband will probably never work again, at least not in that particular field. He could probably find something at the minimum wage level but it sounds like that won't get you too far.

It's time to consider that you are in for a huge cost of living change, and you're going to have to buckle down.

You can't even divorce him, because he's jobless and you'd end up paying him support.
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Old 27th July 2015, 1:42 PM   #6
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At least you see his true colors. I'd go off on him. I'd lay down the law on him or give him the boot. Any toys of his would be sold. I'd give him 2 weeks to find a job. Any job would do, even part time. I wouldn't let him laze around a house he's no longer paying for. It's too bad his company is not criminally prosecuting him. Thieves are almost as bad as cheaters are. What other immoral things has he done that you know of?

Last edited by Clarence_Boddicker; 27th July 2015 at 1:51 PM.. Reason: Autoincorrectness
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Old 27th July 2015, 1:53 PM   #7
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Bloody hell, condemnation or what??

Yes he did wrong. None of you ever has? Never stolen anything? Course not.

Of course you are justified in being angry A. (Very)

But this does not make him bad or even a loser come to that.

If we don`t get caught then we`re `Jack the lad`

But he was collared....

Job hunting and a lot of making up to do to you.
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Old 27th July 2015, 1:53 PM   #8
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OK, he's been ripped a new one, and so, by default (although unfairly) so have you.

You now need to seriously consider the budget.
Do you have two cars?
Sell one. His. Get him a bike.

Might you have to take in a lodger to help pay mortgage/rent? Or maybe right now, consider downsizing?

Start considering where to buy groceries and household essentials. Down-grade your food choices to 'own-brands' rather than branded goods.

Advise the utility companies that your husband has lost his job and you need a better payment plan.

Get rid of non-essential luxuries like the multi-channels you may be subscribing to.... Contact your provider and advise them of the situation and ask how you can modify your contract.

Cut off your home phone or make it incoming calls only....

(I'm speaking from personal experience, here....)

He needs to start looking for jobs, this minute.
He wants to be left alone, but he's in danger of wallowing in self-pity.
Don't 'leave him alone' too long.

For whatever reasons, (and I know someone suggested investigating any possible motives he had for doing this - but frankly, that's a pointless exercise and a waste of time and energy. It's done now, there's no going back and changing it, and self-analysis won't help that) he brought this on himself. Clearly, he really should have known better.
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Old 27th July 2015, 1:59 PM   #9
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well, he got fired and he can not do a thing about it ...

tell him to dust off that old resume of his and start looking for a new job ( in emailing it out )

and post an ad for employment also
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Old 27th July 2015, 2:00 PM   #10
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Depending on the state where you live, have him file for unemployment anyway. If he is still unemployed in six months, it may kick in after that time.

Yeah, he screwed up. Time to reassess his future and perhaps go into a different line of work.
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Old 27th July 2015, 2:03 PM   #11
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Why does he need you to support him by taking the day off ? what is that about.. he got fired for doing something illegal and got caught.

IMO he needs to worry about criminal charges, in my company those would be being filed after they were fired, they are right now figuring out the scope of what he did by comparing inventories etc etc and then should be going to the police.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with him, you might want to reconsider your relationship with him as you never know what legal harm he is going to put you in.
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Old 27th July 2015, 2:10 PM   #12
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another thing to worry about is that if a criminal investigation is opened up then Ebay will be served a warrant as well as your ISP and to tie him to the account they will also ask them to give up his sales records, and the charges could get worse, depending on the amount and state he may be looking a felony charge.

It could take months for the investigation if one is opened up so you won;t know if he is in the clear for quite some time.
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Old 27th July 2015, 2:12 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Haydn View Post
Bloody hell, condemnation or what??

Yes he did wrong. None of you ever has? Never stolen anything? Course not.

Of course you are justified in being angry A. (Very)

But this does not make him bad or even a loser come to that.

If we don`t get caught then we`re `Jack the lad`

But he was collared....

Job hunting and a lot of making up to do to you.
Nope, can't say I've ever stolen anything, even as a young child.

Condemnation is warranted here. It's also a crime.
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Old 27th July 2015, 2:24 PM   #14
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Maybe i put it slightly wrong.

I don`t get the character assassination.....

He did wrong, fair and square.

But he may be a great husband. (I don`t know)

He made a mistake and he is paying for it as is A.

I hope you both work it out.
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Old 27th July 2015, 4:26 PM   #15
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When either adult loses a job, its a time to re-group and proceed forward. Absolutely this is a shock to the financials, Let the ripples come and go. He seems to understand the ramifications and is adult enough that in due time he will get back on the horse to ride another day. You are both adults that when one falls the other can help? Remorse is an empowering thing, He deserves an ally.
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