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I told a client "F-you" today at work


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He pushed me too far. Her was using vulgar language first, wouldn't listen and it was my last nerve!

 

About a dozen employees were gathered around. They heard our convo getting elevated and gathered to find out how I would react. They found out. While it was embarrassing it was also rejuvenating. I took a hit corporately, but i got a big star on my own mental score sheet.

 

I have worked very hard to keep this client, more so than any other I have but his attitude told me he couldn't care less. While I need clients now, I'm thinking this will be less burden so better gone. I still feel I should have overcome my emotions and feel I am worried that I can't really control my emotions like I should. In other words, I'm conflicted.

 

One thing it taught me is to be more careful who I sign up. Colleagues have mentioned in the past how it's better to let some customers walk and I always thought that to be dramatic. I realize now they are right! There are some basket cases that we just need to see walking out the back door.

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pink_sugar
He pushed me too far. Her was using vulgar language first, wouldn't listen and it was my last nerve!

 

About a dozen employees were gathered around. They heard our convo getting elevated and gathered to find out how I would react. They found out. While it was embarrassing it was also rejuvenating. I took a hit corporately, but i got a big star on my own mental score sheet.

 

I have worked very hard to keep this client, more so than any other I have but his attitude told me he couldn't care less. While I need clients now, I'm thinking this will be less burden so better gone. I still feel I should have overcome my emotions and feel I am worried that I can't really control my emotions like I should. In other words, I'm conflicted.

 

One thing it taught me is to be more careful who I sign up. Colleagues have mentioned in the past how it's better to let some customers walk and I always thought that to be dramatic. I realize now they are right! There are some basket cases that we just need to see walking out the back door.

 

Are you looking for some type of advice or?

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SycamoreCircle

If we work our jobs with the attitude that we can never stand up for ourselves or we have to eat sh;t sandwiches regardless, we are doomed to feel miserable and lifeless.

 

You proved to yourself that you do have a threshold and your dignity is more important to you than professional etiquette. Good for you. Hold on to that. Never lose that.

 

No matter what, you will be alright in the end.

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loveweary11

Wow!

 

That's a big deal in San Diego where your culture always shows a positive, friendly façade, then f*ucks people behind their back instead.

 

On the East Coast "f*ck you" is more of a correction in the relationship. :lmao:

 

So did the client take their ball and go home or did it work more like out here, where they took it as they went too far and need to correct their behavior?

 

Were they just annoying or logically in the wrong?

 

I ban people from my business soup nazi style from time to time...

 

 

It has to be done.

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never use swear words in a business setting. Never. And especially not over one conversation. It is business. You may feel like a man, but remember, you are an employee first and foremost and you can and should attract more business for your employer.

 

By answering back on the same tone, you are lowering yourself at his level. Nobody wins. What you do at work is more than just getting your pay check. you are building yourself a reputation. No uneducated loser should be allowed to destroy that.

 

Irrelevant of how much your client deserved it, you've done yourself a deservice first. There's nothing to be proud of. Think about it and never ever let anyone push your buttons, especially not at work. It shows weakness.

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UpwardForward
never use swear words in a business setting. Never. And especially not over one conversation. It is business. You may feel like a man, but remember, you are an employee first and foremost and you can and should attract more business for your employer.

 

By answering back on the same tone, you are lowering yourself at his level. Nobody wins. What you do at work is more than just getting your pay check. you are building yourself a reputation. No uneducated loser should be allowed to destroy that.

 

Irrelevant of how much your client deserved it, you've done yourself a deservice first. There's nothing to be proud of. Think about it and never ever let anyone push your buttons, especially not at work. It shows weakness.

 

I believe the same applies if you are the entrepreneur.

 

Imo, Client should have been given a warning in a simple/logical business-like manner.

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Ideally, the thing to do is to say, "I'm sorry, but I don't need your business - we're done." The reality is, some people make it hard to be civil. I hate "The customer's always right" attitude, and frankly, I disagree with it: not all customers are right. Some are wrong, and it's better to let them find other companies to work with.

 

My only problem with the OP's response is that he's giving ammunition to his angry client, who in turn can complain to his employer that he was mistreated. Of course, if he's his own boss, that's a different matter, but it sounds like he's not entirely working for himself. If he's a big producer, then usually a boss will let it go with a kind counseling session. But I tend to agree with the others: unless you're working for yourself, it's best to try to manage those situations with some civility. I know it's not easy, though.

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I_Give_Up67
He pushed me too far. Her was using vulgar language first, wouldn't listen and it was my last nerve!

 

About a dozen employees were gathered around. They heard our convo getting elevated and gathered to find out how I would react. They found out. While it was embarrassing it was also rejuvenating. I took a hit corporately, but i got a big star on my own mental score sheet.

 

I have worked very hard to keep this client, more so than any other I have but his attitude told me he couldn't care less. While I need clients now, I'm thinking this will be less burden so better gone. I still feel I should have overcome my emotions and feel I am worried that I can't really control my emotions like I should. In other words, I'm conflicted.

One thing it taught me is to be more careful who I sign up. Colleagues have mentioned in the past how it's better to let some customers walk and I always thought that to be dramatic. I realize now they are right! There are some basket cases that we just need to see walking out the back door.

 

Ken,

 

When I read this, I had to come out of "LS retirement", to say WTG brother! I've dealt with so many rude, unreasonable, and at times abusive customers over the years. At least I did up until about five years ago, when I finally told a plant manager to "F**k Off", then packed up my tools to leave. The manager stood there in complete shock, but began to apologize to me profusely, pleading with me not to leave. After cooling down for a brief time I did in fact stay and complete my work.

 

I became an instant folk hero at that plant, and never again had any problem with that plant manager or anyone else there.:D My own boss later told me he hoped they would take their business elsewhere:lmao:

 

Since that day, I will not tolerate any kind of abuse or deal with any unreasonable demands from any of my customers! I am very understanding and tolerant when a customer has a legitimate issue that needs to be resolved. However, when it crosses the line and becomes a personal attack against me or my employer, I do not hesitate to remind that customer, I am more than happy to leave their property and that they can find someone else to do the work!

 

At the end of the day, the customer is our "golden goose", but sometimes for the sake of your own sanity and professional well-being, it is necessary to push back, if a customer crosses the line.

 

You will find a new client to replace the one you've lost Ken. Having a "big star" on your "mental score sheet", is worth it sometimes! You do not have to tolerate being disrespected by a customer.

 

Hang in there friend!

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SycamoreCircle

So right, IGiveUp! This all goes back to boundary issues. It doesn't matter if you use swear words, fling food, or orchestrate an on-the-spot satire using sock puppets. It's about expressing our sense of dignity. If we weren't so bloody-minded and scared about our professional reputation(which translates to money), we could prevent such emotional outbursts.

 

I'm sure this was not the first line the client crossed.

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While I am sure it felt great to say it and I am sure the guy deserved it, there are other ways to say "f you" that are polite and still get the point across.

 

I get it, I get fired up as well, but I want to come out on top and nothing says "f you" like "we are done here" and walking away.

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Wow!

 

That's a big deal in San Diego where your culture always shows a positive, friendly façade, then f*ucks people behind their back instead.

 

On the East Coast "f*ck you" is more of a correction in the relationship. :lmao:

 

What? I'm a hiring manager in the East Coast and I absolutely do not agree with that statement.

 

Under NO circumstances is it EVER acceptable to say that to a client. I don't care how much you dislike him or how difficult they are. If something isn't working out in your professional relationship with a client, work it out like the adult that you are! And if you can't work it out, then let them know that you will no longer be accepting their business and offer to refer them to a colleague.

 

If I'd heard one of my employees say that to a client, they would be removed from my team on the spot.

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SycamoreCircle

Well, I'm glad the song is not entitled "I'm Effectively Tenuring My Resignation, Good Day."

 

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What? I'm a hiring manager in the East Coast and I absolutely do not agree with that statement.

 

Under NO circumstances is it EVER acceptable to say that to a client. I don't care how much you dislike him or how difficult they are. If something isn't working out in your professional relationship with a client, work it out like the adult that you are! And if you can't work it out, then let them know that you will no longer be accepting their business and offer to refer them to a colleague.

 

It's not acceptable, but it's understandable. I think the important thing is that the company needs to train employees on how to handle abusive customers - and it's important to distinguish abusive customers from merely annoying ones. When someone uses profanity toward one of your employees, that person's not just being a headache, he's abusive.

 

If I'd heard one of my employees say that to a client, they would be removed from my team on the spot.

 

And if you give anyone the impression that your company accepts abusive, hostile behavior toward any of your employees, that's grounds for a hostile workplace lawsuit - and the damages your company would have to pay would be enormous. Not to mention, you'd probably damage morale. I agree that, even under those circumstances, people should be professional enough not to lower themselves to the standards of ogres, but that can be corrected through mentoring and coaching.

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The thing is, you should have diffused the situation before it ever got to the point of pushing you this far. The people giving you high fives are acting as if your only choices were to eat sh*t or say "f**k you". As if there is nothing in between. I never use profanity at work or say abusive things to clients, but I also do not tolerate any abuse and I'm not expected to. I politely and professionally warn clients when they are getting close to crossing the line and if they still choose to cross that line then we are done talking. Period.

 

 

People who are rude abusive jerks actually like getting people upset and seeing them react poorly. When you lose your cool you're really rewarding the assh*le by letting him see he has upset you and caused you to act unprofessionally. Secondly it gives him ammunition to use against you later on, either in an complaint made about you or in a way to steer future clients away from you. So you are not the winner in this situation

 

 

All that being said, what you did is understandable and forgivable. The world is not going to end and you will probably not suffer any consequences for one outburst, so don't sweat it. But also do not let this become your new technique for dealing with bad clients. You crossed a line and now is a good time for you to reflect on where it when wrong and what you could have done differently to stop it from escalating to that level.

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This isn't going to do your career any good. Standing up for yourself is one thing. Saying "F you" to a client and their business is juvenile and will lose you a client and a job most places.

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GorillaTheater

I dished out a "f*ck you" once on a job. I was an Asst. D.A. at the time, and this rich guy came in bitching about his neighbor's septic system. She was a proverbial little old lady living in a trailer next to his near-estate, and it quickly became obvious to me that he was hounding her because he wanted her property. I might have let that go and simply not bothered the old lady, but this guy was such an unbearable jerk that I wasn't going to put up with his crap for one more second. I sure did shock a couple of my co-workers. :laugh:

 

I had the good sense to immediately let the DA and the County Judge know what I did. My boss didn't care, and the County Judge told me that I should have told him "f*ck you very much".

 

Rarely, but indeed occasionally, there's a place for it.

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I_Give_Up67

To all that say it's never justifiable to swear at an abusive customer, I'd invite you all to accompany me in the field for a month and see if you'd still feel it's never appropriate. :D

 

The employees that are on the front lines in front of the customer, become the lightning rod for any and all complaints that customer has about our products, as well as my company. When I've reached the point of telling a customer to "f**k off", it's because that customer has crossed a line and made it personal. Questioning my competence and telling me how to service my own instrumentation, is guaranteed way to see me become unprofessional. Yet, I've only resorted to taking this path after all reasonable attempts to diffuse the situation had failed.

 

We are required to take continuing customer service training on specifically how to deal with difficult customers. I've yet to see that training accurately simulate the abuse that we actually encounter at times. Interesting to note, I've never lost a customer due to me loosing my cool and exploding on them, in fact I've ended up gaining their respect. I understand that my customers are under tremendous pressure to keep their production processes running smoothly, but I will not tolerate personal attacks while I am trying to do my job.

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To all that say it's never justifiable to swear at an abusive customer, I'd invite you all to accompany me in the field for a month and see if you'd still feel it's never appropriate. :D

 

The employees that are on the front lines in front of the customer, become the lightning rod for any and all complaints that customer has about our products, as well as my company. When I've reached the point of telling a customer to "f**k off", it's because that customer has crossed a line and made it personal. Questioning my competence and telling me how to service my own instrumentation, is guaranteed way to see me become unprofessional. Yet, I've only resorted to taking this path after all reasonable attempts to diffuse the situation had failed.

 

We are required to take continuing customer service training on specifically how to deal with difficult customers. I've yet to see that training accurately simulate the abuse that we actually encounter at times. Interesting to note, I've never lost a customer due to me loosing my cool and exploding on them, in fact I've ended up gaining their respect. I understand that my customers are under tremendous pressure to keep their production processes running smoothly, but I will not tolerate personal attacks while I am trying to do my job.

 

If attempting to diffuse the situation didn't work, why exactly could you not simply walk away? I don't quite understand why it seems like a "last resort" to you. It should not be a resort at all, last or otherwise.

 

My team supports 20,000 clients. I would expect that if any of these clients becomes abusive that they would disengage and let me know right away. Depending on the severity of the situation, I will then decide whether to engage the client personally or assign a different employee to this client.

 

Like someone else said, you have more options than taking their disrespect OR being disrespectful yourself. That vast middle ground is where professionalism lives.

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loveweary11
What? I'm a hiring manager in the East Coast and I absolutely do not agree with that statement.

 

Under NO circumstances is it EVER acceptable to say that to a client. I don't care how much you dislike him or how difficult they are. If something isn't working out in your professional relationship with a client, work it out like the adult that you are! And if you can't work it out, then let them know that you will no longer be accepting their business and offer to refer them to a colleague.

 

If I'd heard one of my employees say that to a client, they would be removed from my team on the spot.

 

You're from Boston. Prissy proper fogey central. Stiffest people in the USA. Very intelligent and hard working though. Started my tech career on route 128, so I get the culture.

 

It's a NY thing.

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loveweary11
The thing is, you should have diffused the situation before it ever got to the point of pushing you this far. The people giving you high fives are acting as if your only choices were to eat sh*t or say "f**k you". As if there is nothing in between. I never use profanity at work or say abusive things to clients, but I also do not tolerate any abuse and I'm not expected to. I politely and professionally warn clients when they are getting close to crossing the line and if they still choose to cross that line then we are done talking. Period.

 

 

People who are rude abusive jerks actually like getting people upset and seeing them react poorly. When you lose your cool you're really rewarding the assh*le by letting him see he has upset you and caused you to act unprofessionally. Secondly it gives him ammunition to use against you later on, either in an complaint made about you or in a way to steer future clients away from you. So you are not the winner in this situation

 

 

All that being said, what you did is understandable and forgivable. The world is not going to end and you will probably not suffer any consequences for one outburst, so don't sweat it. But also do not let this become your new technique for dealing with bad clients. You crossed a line and now is a good time for you to reflect on where it when wrong and what you could have done differently to stop it from escalating to that level.

 

 

Adding to this post, doing business, especially in NY, people will test you (especially Jewish guys). They'll push and push and push to see if you're a doormat or you have a spine.

 

Once you stand up to them, your business relationship improves *significantly* from that point on.

 

You have to earn respect doing business in NY. Doing business in Boston, you have respect by default, but god forbid you don't have a PhD from Harvard or MIT. You're just a dummy up there if you're far behind Einstein in IQ.

 

The two cultures are surprising very, very different places to do business, as is SoCal, where it's loose and friendly.

 

Having been in international sales, closing deals and building distribution networks in various countries, face to face, playing to local cultures was a HUGE part of my sales training.

 

I find it remarkable people don't stop to notice the vast differences in cultures right here in the States.

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I_Give_Up67
If attempting to diffuse the situation didn't work, why exactly could you not simply walk away? I don't quite understand why it seems like a "last resort" to you. It should not be a resort at all, last or otherwise.

 

My team supports 20,000 clients. I would expect that if any of these clients becomes abusive that they would disengage and let me know right away. Depending on the severity of the situation, I will then decide whether to engage the client personally or assign a different employee to this client.

 

Like someone else said, you have more options than taking their disrespect OR being disrespectful yourself. That vast middle ground is where professionalism lives.

 

Arabella, In the vast majority of the incidences I speak of, like the plant manager's case, calling for backup was not an option at the time. In that case, I did escalate the situation to my manager, and was told to tough it out and to try and get the job finished. The funny part is the plant manager ended up calling my manager an idiot and hanging up on him. Since I'd been told that somehow some way I'd have to finish that job, I unloaded on the plant manager and threatened to walk out. As it worked out, he was stunned by my response and came to his senses, and we both then diffused the situation after the fact.

 

I've been in customer service for almost 25 years now, and not to sound conceited, but I am beloved by my assigned customer base. I do not intentionally seek confrontation as a first course of action in difficult situations. However, I've used it successfully to show some customers that I will not be intimidated or tolerate abuse by them.

 

I know that in your position as hiring manager, you hear about these cases from time to time. Certainly you have probably dealt with irate customers personally. But I've discovered that if I don't push back, then it weakens my future dealings with a difficult customer, especially if they feel they can get away with treating me like this.

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OP, my brief response is stuff happens and no interaction exists in a vacuum. IMO, use this experience as a positive training method to share your perspectives on what actually happened, what you took away from what happened and how you felt about it to improve employee-> customer interactions in the future.

 

I don't work in your industry and my industry is pretty brutal so its methods of settling scores would not apply. Still, each experience teaches.

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SycamoreCircle
Adding to this post, doing business, especially in NY, people will test you (especially Jewish guys). They'll push and push and push to see if you're a doormat or you have a spine.

 

Once you stand up to them, your business relationship improves *significantly* from that point on.

 

You have to earn respect doing business in NY. Doing business in Boston, you have respect by default, but god forbid you don't have a PhD from Harvard or MIT. You're just a dummy up there if you're far behind Einstein in IQ.

 

The two cultures are surprising very, very different places to do business, as is SoCal, where it's loose and friendly.

 

Having been in international sales, closing deals and building distribution networks in various countries, face to face, playing to local cultures was a HUGE part of my sales training.

 

I find it remarkable people don't stop to notice the vast differences in cultures right here in the States.

I agree about NY. People push you and standing up to them like a bully in the schoolyard is perfectly viable.
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You're from Boston. Prissy proper fogey central. Stiffest people in the USA. Very intelligent and hard working though. Started my tech career on route 128, so I get the culture.

 

It's a NY thing.

 

Wow that's a lot of assumptions there.

 

Uhm, no, I'm not from Boston. I'm actually from Spain. I moved to NY, then happened to live in Boston for a few years.... and guess what? I live in NY again now!

 

I stick by what I said ;)

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Hope Shimmers
never use swear words in a business setting. Never. And especially not over one conversation. It is business. You may feel like a man, but remember, you are an employee first and foremost and you can and should attract more business for your employer.

 

By answering back on the same tone, you are lowering yourself at his level. Nobody wins. What you do at work is more than just getting your pay check. you are building yourself a reputation. No uneducated loser should be allowed to destroy that.

 

Irrelevant of how much your client deserved it, you've done yourself a deservice first. There's nothing to be proud of. Think about it and never ever let anyone push your buttons, especially not at work. It shows weakness.

 

^^^ This ^^^

 

Your response put you on the same level as him. There are other ways to get the message across that you will not deal with that kind of language or attitude. To respond in kind is unprofessional at best.

 

I speak from experience as I have PLENTY of clients that I could say that to, but I have other much more professional and respectful ways of saying it.

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