How to Handle Burnout When You Can't Reduce Workload?

[loveweary11]

This weekend, I haven't been able to get out of bed except to eat. I am so exhausted, I can't move.

 

For years now, I have been putting in 14 hour days doing office work with many social evenings out required after work. Each and every day, 5 days a week, has been 14 hours day. The job is pretty hectic and stressful at times. That's my NY business, which I used to share duties with my ex wife with. Now, it's all me.

 

On top of that, I have been managing the new boat build and been working on it, physically, 7 days a week, concurrently, with my NY work phone by my side, answering calls and doing whjite collar work while doing blue collar work on the boat.

 

It is extremely difficult to do both, but necessary to afford the boat build and life.

 

Before, there were 2 people doing these responsibilities. Now, it's just me.

 

I hired an assistant, but she didn't work out.

 

I have 4 or 5 weeks left in this mode and I just basically collapsed this weekend.

 

I had to stop work earky on Friday because I couldn't move anymore. Here it is Sunday and I can't even get out of bed. All I want to do is sleep. I've never been so tired in all my life and I've always been a very hard worker...eat my lunch at my desk working type.

 

I found my limits.

 

So how can I proceed? The NY employees need me to be the one working (can't sub anyone in for a month), the boat employees need me (they don't know what to do Quite often) and I have to do much of the final work on the boat myself. For quality purposes. Safety purposes.

 

I was supposed to do some boat things this weekend but I can't get out of bed.

 

I have a couple hours of ny work coming up in 5 or 6 hours to prep for thebweek, then 14 hour NY business days all week and 8-10 hour boat days at the same time, concurrently.

 

Any tips on how to make it through this next 4 or 5 weeks?

 

I've been doing 90 hours a week and working 2 businesses at the same time since like November. No breaks.

Edited May 3, 2015 by loveweary11

[loveweary11]

Any tips at all?

 

Could really use some help.

 

I'm just lying in bed, unable to move today. About to go to sleep again.,

[Art_Critic]

pan out what you do and make sure to take a little time for yourself, what you need in order to destress...

I bought a cabin up in the mountains a long time ago and I would take off from work.. go up and spend the evening there and drive back.. it was enough to keep the balance and rebalance my head.

Find something you can do for you.. that will help

 

Also make sure you are eating right..when under stress and working long hours it is easy to not eat right.

 

Good Luck and if it gets too much just take on what you can and either ask for help with what you are underwater on or turn those down.

[preraph]

You have to hire another assistant. Not sure what the problem was or what qualifications they need, but if you can hire someone over 50 who's spent most of their lives in the work force, you have a better chance of getting someone dependable and competent simply because they have a proven track record of wanting to work instead of wanting to take off for this and that or f off at work.

 

Don't give up looking for an assistant. I've been there. And I had to use nonpaid interns, so it was really hard to find one that wanted to work. Get someone who is proven so you don't have to waste your time training new ones over and over.

 

In addition to that, it sounds like you're doing well, so you have some money to help yourself out. I have been on a too little static income for decades but I still have a maid come in every few months to clean my house. You should hire a housekeeper if that is something you also have to do yourself. Doesn't have to be every week. Could be once a month.

 

And when you get your assistant, if you are clear from the beginning that you may use them to run personal errands, you can use them for things like that as well, although I wouldn't ask them to clean. But most people don't mind getting out of the office and running an errand and getting paid mileage. It would help you out a lot.

[loveweary11]

Ok, I'll look into another assistant, but by the time I train them, I'll be gone from this location.

 

I'm really trying to find a way to make it through the next month, then organize things a little better elsewhere. I'm stuck in an extremely remote area for the boat build.

 

Also, I was reading some causes of burnout and noticed I have been allowing these to happen for quite some time. Asterisk next to ones I have allowed to happen...

 

Feeling like you have little or no control over your work

Lack of recognition or rewards for good work

*Unclear or overly demanding job expectations

Doing work that’s monotonous or unchallenging

*Working in a chaotic or high-pressure environment

 

Lifestyle causes of burnout

 

*Working too much, without enough time for relaxing and socializing

*Being expected to be too many things to too many people

*Taking on too many responsibilities, without enough help from others

Not getting enough sleep

*Lack of close, supportive relationships

 

Personality traits can contribute to burnout

 

*Perfectionistic tendencies; nothing is ever good enough

Pessimistic view of yourself and the world

*The need to be in control; reluctance to delegate to others

*High-achieving, Type A personality

[preraph]

Well, if it's only for a month, then I suggest just hiring a personal assistant through a temp agency. Have them just stand by you and hand you things while working or have them out running errands, going to the grocery store, etc. Don't really train them. Just boss them around and tell them there may be some idle time when you're not bossing them and feel free to use their smartphones then. Anyone should be able to do filing or the simpler office tasks. And if it's construction type work, any day laborer construction guy could work under your supervision and do at least a few things.

 

As far as housekeepers, you can do a one-time only. If you're about to move houses or places of work, you can hire people to pack your stuff for you. None of it has to be permanent. Maybe doing that will give you a better idea of what more permanent help you need once moved.

[loveweary11]

Well, if it's only for a month, then I suggest just hiring a personal assistant through a temp agency. Have them just stand by you and hand you things while working or have them out running errands, going to the grocery store, etc. Don't really train them. Just boss them around and tell them there may be some idle time when you're not bossing them and feel free to use their smartphones then. Anyone should be able to do filing or the simpler office tasks. And if it's construction type work, any day laborer construction guy could work under your supervision and do at least a few things.

 

As far as housekeepers, you can do a one-time only. If you're about to move houses or places of work, you can hire people to pack your stuff for you. None of it has to be permanent. Maybe doing that will give you a better idea of what more permanent help you need once moved.

 

If only anything was that simple.

 

Construction of a boat is a highly specialized skill set akin to building an airplane or car, with the same consequences if done incorrectly -death. There isn't much an untrained person could do that my employees here aren't already doing. In fact, the reason I can't leave the boat work to the guys here is that these final stages involve design, installation, purchasing, etc. Only the captain can really do these last stages of mission critical steering, engines, safety gear, etc... Or t least a very, very qualified tech tat has done this their whole lives. I can't pawn it off to a temp.

 

Same for the phones. These are incoming calls from the public and specialist internal processes which will completely destroy the business if handled incorrectly. I had trained my pot addicted, Monday missing assistant to do them and she was actually highly intelligent. It took her a solid week of side by side training and 3 weeks or so to get it down.

 

I think I'm screwed. I just woke up after having slept most of the afternoon and watched South Park, Simpsons, Family Guy and Ridiculousness. I love stupid things that slow me down from thinking and make my laugh... and I love Chanel West Coast's laugh. lol Feel a lot better having had an actual weekend. I think I'm sort of ready for the week.

 

I'm already moved in the boat. Crew cabin and galley are mostly done and walled away from dust. I definitely have a pile of dishes im not doing and need a dishwasher, but this is a very tight financial time too. Not sure if you're familiar, but more boat builds fail than small businesses. Very few are completed. It's an enormous task, akin to building 3 average houses. So... a month away, I'm having some issues keeping up. It's significantly essier with a spouse....

Edited May 3, 2015 by loveweary11

[creighton0123]

If you have the funds for it, do what others said. Hire a temp assistant to perform your day to day tasks so you don't have to worry about them:

 

Laundry

Grocery shopping

Cleaning

Cooking

Driving you to and from work if you commute.

 

Basically hire a short-term, adult nanny.

[loveweary11]

If you have the funds for it, do what others said. Hire a temp assistant to perform your day to day tasks so you don't have to worry about them:

 

Laundry

Grocery shopping

Cleaning

Cooking

Driving you to and from work if you commute.

 

Basically hire a short-term, adult nanny.

 

Hmmm... that's a possibility, even if it is tough on the budget.

 

My solution to food has been a crockpot/slow cooker and microwave. Pre made all meals for the week.

 

I stocked up on food (healthy from whole foods only) to avoid having to do any real grocery shopping for 3-4 weeks in a stretch.

 

I'm living in the boat, so thankfully no commute.

 

The solution to the rest has been to not do them!

 

Maybe I should buy and install the dishwasher.

[preraph]

Well, I'd tell you to exercise to combat stress, but I think you need sleep and relaxation worse because you're already getting a good workout on that boat. I know with money tight you can't afford to hire an actual skilled boat guy, so looks like it's eat plenty of protein and carbs to keep your strength up, sleep as much as you can, and knock it out. Meanwhile, if money's tight, then you'll just have to let the housekeeping go for awhile. I know there's times we'd all love to have a clone of ourselves.

[loveweary11]

Well, I'd tell you to exercise to combat stress, but I think you need sleep and relaxation worse because you're already getting a good workout on that boat. I know with money tight you can't afford to hire an actual skilled boat guy, so looks like it's eat plenty of protein and carbs to keep your strength up, sleep as much as you can, and knock it out. Meanwhile, if money's tight, then you'll just have to let the housekeeping go for awhile. I know there's times we'd all love to have a clone of ourselves.

 

Thank you. I think that's the least complicated approach. I agree.

 

I'm way ahead of you on letting housekeeping go.

 

I have lost a good amount of weight from stopping exercising these past couple months, but do plan to get back to it right after this thing launches.

[pink_sugar]

I hear you. I am feeling pretty burnt out on life in general. I have been working for about 10 years and not one single paid vacation have I been able to have. I've worked many places, moved many times, suffered several family grievances, chaos and drama. I would kill to have a paid week of me time. Sadly, that won't be happening for another few years until I get my MBA and find a career opportunity that will give me full benefits.

[Fugu]

I actually just quit my job because of burn out, but not everyone is in a position to do that. Truth be told, it'll take some time to replace my income, but I have absolutely no regrets.

 

Each person's case is different, but the one thing that applies to everyone, regardless of situation, is that a person can only do so much work before it starts to tax you beyond the point of being worth it. If you're working as a contractor, farm out your work to others -- find reliable people who won't cheat you out of business and work out a (written) agreement.

 

If you're working for others, maybe consider a change of employers or a change of roles. Consider taking a breather from being a supervisor or coordinator if that's what you're doing. If you're good, people will remember you and know the work you do. You'll have a job again at some point.

[loveweary11]

I actually just quit my job because of burn out, but not everyone is in a position to do that. Truth be told, it'll take some time to replace my income, but I have absolutely no regrets.

 

Each person's case is different, but the one thing that applies to everyone, regardless of situation, is that a person can only do so much work before it starts to tax you beyond the point of being worth it. If you're working as a contractor, farm out your work to others -- find reliable people who won't cheat you out of business and work out a (written) agreement.

 

If you're working for others, maybe consider a change of employers or a change of roles. Consider taking a breather from being a supervisor or coordinator if that's what you're doing. If you're good, people will remember you and know the work you do. You'll have a job again at some point.

 

I own everything and many people are depending on me to support their families. I haven't worked for anyone since 2000.

 

I will definitely take time away from the boat side after it launches. Just work the NY business and at least temporarily lay off those guys.

 

Then pick that back up in spare time and when it feels right.

 

If I play my cards right, maybe I'll just spend next winter in th Exumas drooling on myself.

 

I was burnt out before my divorce. Then I had to deal with that, plus all of this stuff on my own since then

 

I think I'm cracking.

 

I can control at least the boat side of things in a month or so when it launches, working it when I have the energy.

 

Then I'll just haveva regular monday thru Friday 14 hr a day job. lol

 

But in all seriousness, I could get an assistant for that to ease it up nce the boat has launched.

Edited May 4, 2015 by loveweary11

[preraph]

Being a workaholic has prevented you from being able to stop and process everything. I know a couple of people who stay too busy just to avoid thinking about much. I'm glad you're thinking toward a time of getting things under control and then taking care of yourself, because you need it.

 

I can empathize because I once found myself in a very stressful situation. I had a bad betrayal where my old best friend slept with the guy I was in love with while we were on a break from having things unresolved. He and I were in the same business in competing companies, both of which I'd worked for before. My company was going bankrupt but I was going through so much emotionally that I wasn't dealing with it and making other plans. So my body made me deal with it one day when I woke up sick and just couldn't make myself go to work, and I knew I had to quit and find other work. The logical place was the rival company. We weren't supposed to end up working side by side, and I was only supposed to be in the office a couple of weeks on a special project and then move to my own retail store. But as things worked out, I ended up working with him for 10 years. I think it was always stressful, but that first year took more self-control in every single way than any other time in my life.

 

So I guess my point is, it could be worse. You could be divorcing her and then working with her and still having to deal with it. Once squared away, you can breathe again.

 

Like you said you did earlier watching dumb stuff on tv, try to find at least a couple of hours a week to do that. While your housework is suffering, I would suggest you just keep that one room you relax in free and clear, even if it means throwing everything in a heap in another room, so that it is a retreat when you go in there.

 

Hope that boat turns out well. What a great thing to be doing -- under normal circumstances, that is.

[loveweary11]

Thank you. That was a very encouraging story.

 

It would ba a LOT worse working with the ex wife. Hadn't even thought about that. I used work as a block for the divorce. A distraction.

 

Now that I'm so completely over it, I have too much work.

 

Soon... 5 weeks. I'll be able to move the boat near my other work, which will help immensely. It's still set up in such a way as the ex and I set it up years ago.

 

Plan is to finish the interior up (all the other rooms) as I go, on weekends and stuff.

 

Less intense work.

 

 

Being a workaholic has prevented you from being able to stop and process everything. I know a couple of people who stay too busy just to avoid thinking about much. I'm glad you're thinking toward a time of getting things under control and then taking care of yourself, because you need it.

 

I can empathize because I once found myself in a very stressful situation. I had a bad betrayal where my old best friend slept with the guy I was in love with while we were on a break from having things unresolved. He and I were in the same business in competing companies, both of which I'd worked for before. My company was going bankrupt but I was going through so much emotionally that I wasn't dealing with it and making other plans. So my body made me deal with it one day when I woke up sick and just couldn't make myself go to work, and I knew I had to quit and find other work. The logical place was the rival company. We weren't supposed to end up working side by side, and I was only supposed to be in the office a couple of weeks on a special project and then move to my own retail store. But as things worked out, I ended up working with him for 10 years. I think it was always stressful, but that first year took more self-control in every single way than any other time in my life.

 

So I guess my point is, it could be worse. You could be divorcing her and then working with her and still having to deal with it. Once squared away, you can breathe again.

 

Like you said you did earlier watching dumb stuff on tv, try to find at least a couple of hours a week to do that. While your housework is suffering, I would suggest you just keep that one room you relax in free and clear, even if it means throwing everything in a heap in another room, so that it is a retreat when you go in there.

 

Hope that boat turns out well. What a great thing to be doing -- under normal circumstances, that is.

[Fugu]

I own everything and many people are depending on me to support their families. I haven't worked for anyone since 2000.

 

I will definitely take time away from the boat side after it launches. Just work the NY business and at least temporarily lay off those guys.

 

Then pick that back up in spare time and when it feels right.

 

If I play my cards right, maybe I'll just spend next winter in th Exumas drooling on myself.

 

I was burnt out before my divorce. Then I had to deal with that, plus all of this stuff on my own since then

 

I think I'm cracking.

 

I can control at least the boat side of things in a month or so when it launches, working it when I have the energy.

 

Then I'll just haveva regular monday thru Friday 14 hr a day job. lol

 

But in all seriousness, I could get an assistant for that to ease it up nce the boat has launched.

 

I think what you're going through is totally understandable, and I agree it's mainly the divorce that has taken the life out of you. Owning your own business is hard enough but when you have to deal with the trauma of a split, that's even worse.

 

Yeah, try to gradually scale back your work. If it's possible, try to outsource some of your work. Good luck.

[Got it]

I would look at specialty temp (boutique) firms that can hire you a very educated assistant. You will pay more for the knowledge (as it may be a step down for said person) but it will give them temporary work. There are temp companies for everything including boats, I promise! I know I felt multiple looking for pilots for the owner of my company.

 

And then I would work on your big picture plan which is you need back ups. Even as the owner, there should always be back up and you should be training your replacement. So it sounds like in your NY business you have not built the bench strength needed. I would, when you get over the next month, look at your employees and start building a succession plan and figure out who your replacement is, and if you don't have them, really look at who you would need to hire.

 

Especially as the owner, you need to be able to get to the point where you can enjoy the fruits of your labor so you have to start delegating and trusting your team to make it happen (and if you have a team that can't replace them with people who can).

 

So my advice for the current situation, either figure out how to push the boat project off or just know it is for a short period of time and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.

[preraph]

Thank you. That was a very encouraging story.

 

It would ba a LOT worse working with the ex wife. Hadn't even thought about that. I used work as a block for the divorce. A distraction.

 

Now that I'm so completely over it, I have too much work.

 

Soon... 5 weeks. I'll be able to move the boat near my other work, which will help immensely. It's still set up in such a way as the ex and I set it up years ago.

 

Plan is to finish the interior up (all the other rooms) as I go, on weekends and stuff.

 

Less intense work.

 

Yes, it sounds like the interior work will be less "under the gun" and probably just more enjoyable. You're almost there.

[scooby-philly]

Your writing made me think of the old joke in AA:

 

Man takes a drink

Drink takes a drink

Drink takes a man

 

I agree - it's easy to try and be a super-hero. We've created an increasingly complex world were lots of people/industries exist only to tell you how to do something, not do it for you, and certainly not better. The world won't stop if you take time for yourself. Exercise - though as one person said you may not need it, prayer or meditation, long walks, reading - something. I can't imagine going through a divorce while doing what you're doing. Practically - I say start small - find that thing you can do in 20-30 minutes everyday that will make you feel better. Mine is a hot bath with a book - though I don't even read. We're in such a rush that even when you're not emotionally or physically exhausted, our minds are worn-out from not being able to process everything.

[empresario]

There's a couple things I've learned through the years as a successful entrepreneur with 2 exits and a current venture well on its way.

 

first, if you're burning out then you are not building the right culture. The first thing every entrepreneur will tell you is you have to hire to delegate. someone else can help you with your job. you just aren't letting them. find that person. if you love operations hire a dreamer. if you dream hire a do-er.

 

Secondly, any venture you run is dictated by passion. a person that is passionate does not burn out. seriously identify if you're doing what you love, or if you're doing what the world wants you to love.

 

i can give lessons on culture, LMA, etc all day but let's try to diagnose the real issue.

 

Apologies, typing from my surface at a conference. bad grammar alert.

[acrosstheuniverse]

I am pretty sure I experienced burn out when I was completing my MA: I was working 40 hours per week at a very mentally and emotionally demanding placement (working with offenders who had serious substance abuse problems), having to write 2k words essay per week plus another 30k at the end of the placement, delivering pizza 30 hours and volunteering for 4 at a suicide support line. It was insane. Did it for five months solid twice, often 9am-1am, worked literally seven days per week. Basically I got sick, a lot, from overwork, I was getting a cold, then the flu, then a lung infection, then a chest infection, then a cold again... Toss in dealing with the end of a relationship and the bereavement of my mother, a zero hours contract on less than minimum wage, financial problems and it was the most testing time of my whole life.

 

Basically how I dealt with it was making sure on the hours I had free each week, I did NOTHING. I had one or two evenings each week free after placement where I wasn't delivering pizza so I would literally go home, and get in bed. Something has to give and unfortunately mad amounts of fun and socialising is usually the thing, when it's only short term. Every day I would remind myself why I was doing it, which kept me going (my overall goal was to qualify in social work so I could help others). I also had to do other more sly things I probably shouldn't have done like on a delivery take a five min power nap so I could stay awake to get back to the shop and pick up another pizza. Really you just gotta take care of yourself the best you can, which means no alcohol, no smoking and no drugs, you can't afford to be compromising your productivity in any way. Fuel your body with healthy nutritious food.

 

Basically it's another few weeks. Sleep every hour you're not working, take power naps in your lunch if possible. Dredge up the passion behind why you're doing this. Your only choices are quit now or keep going. So keep going. I wound up in the emergency doctors a few times as I couldn't afford to take the time off to see a doctor with an infection, and it's not a way of life i would want to see anyone I love go through but was it worth it? Hell yes. Assumedly you have already explored options to outsource some stuff and free up some energy and haven't been able to sort anything out. Just take it one day at a time and remember that hard work can reap good rewards. I told myself a lot I was lucky to have had the opportunity to better myself even though I felt like it was killing me. I reminded myself I was lucky to have found a second job that enabled me to do my training. Rather than being sad I was so busy. Remind yourself that for many people this lifestyle is every week and month of their lives with no end in sight. When people told me to cut back and try take care of myself I just laughed it off as it was funny to think that they thought I wouldn't have done that already if I could have done!

 

Now I earn twice as much for half the hours, doing something I love. Wouldn't hesitate to do it all again.