privategal Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 It was when I was brand new, our company is pretty small and has somewhat of a family feel. Ive been there a few months now and it has been bothering me every since. I feel it was a mistake on my part to add her but also felt like not accepting the friend request was also rude. I feel its now an invasion of my privacy. I don't post anything work related or negative or inappropriate but I still consider it a place for just me. She doesn't really comment on anything or ask me about posts but she has liked about a dozen or so pictures so she is following me. Is there ANY way out of this? How do you defriend your boss? Sidenote, I just saw her at one of our company meetings...in 3 days she spoke barely a word to me nor made much eye contact. While I am assuming that not speaking to me was not as much personal but due to the fact there were 100 other people there and she had many other things and people to focus on, still, That's one example of why she should not be a "friend" on fb. Link to post Share on other sites
Jethro Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Facebook is for friends. If someone asks to be my friend on Facebook, they better be someone I want to go out drinking with or even spend a weekend away with. If not, I do not accept the friend request. I have dozens of acquaintances that have friend requested me, they have sat there in purgatory for years. I think it's a little late now, but in the future, set your profile to private and if a co worker says, "hey, why didn't you respond to my friend request?" You just respond that you don't really use it anymore. That's what I do anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author privategal Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 How exactly do you set to private? I agree with you, I don't except random folks or aquaintences, but it was a new boss in a very important new career. She had interviewed me and brought me in. Its different to ignore other requests, but a boss? I panicked and accepted and I have regretted it every since. Totally awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 When you post a picture or a status update, there's an option to change your settings to block certain people. Block her. Or just give her limited access to your facebook. Or, delete her and send a note just saying that you don't feel comfortable having her on fb since she is your boss. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Go into your settings and put her on your restricted list. She will be able to message you and see your public profile. Make your future posts that you don't want her to see non public. The people vs. world icon. You can actually make lots of privacy settings, just google what you want to do, it's been done! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I agree, change your status settings so they cannot view your posts. Change album settings as well if as needed. I only have a few select coworkers on my Facebook page. I have thought about adding my boss, because my workplace also has that family vibe. However, when it comes down to it, it is still a place of business and there is a certain degree of professionalism that you need to hold with them. Though they cannot penalize you for removing them from facebook, it might make things awkward. So lesson learned, I would just keep bosses to LinkedIn only. Link to post Share on other sites
rainrhonda Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 On the boss's part I find it disrespectful to knowingly put your employee in that awkward position. That is just not socially acceptable except for special cases maybe, where there is truly a friendship there or a friendship existed before their job status. There is a line that should seperate a business relationship from a social one. It's unprofessional. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 It was when I was brand new, our company is pretty small and has somewhat of a family feel. Ive been there a few months now and it has been bothering me every since. I feel it was a mistake on my part to add her but also felt like not accepting the friend request was also rude. I feel its now an invasion of my privacy. I don't post anything work related or negative or inappropriate but I still consider it a place for just me. She doesn't really comment on anything or ask me about posts but she has liked about a dozen or so pictures so she is following me. Is there ANY way out of this? How do you defriend your boss? Sidenote, I just saw her at one of our company meetings...in 3 days she spoke barely a word to me nor made much eye contact. While I am assuming that not speaking to me was not as much personal but due to the fact there were 100 other people there and she had many other things and people to focus on, still, That's one example of why she should not be a "friend" on fb. You don't report anything of the context of this. It is perfectly routine in this day and age for people interviewing prospects to do online Google checks about them, and to scour their Facebook accounts (sometimes even making potential employment contingent upon being able to do so). Maybe she merely wants it clear to you that she does indeed have access to anything controversial you might post there? So many (idiots) have been fired for stupid things they wrote on their personal websites which often related to their employers or the positions of those employers. And it can't possibly be an invasion of your privacy because you put it all online for the world to view... and you invited this woman to view it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dvx Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 It's just Facebook, who cares? Cant people live without Facebook anymore? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoenician Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 It's just Facebook, who cares? Cant people live without Facebook anymore? me , I deactivated my FB when i started to notice how much FB is invasing my privacy ; it reached a point were it knows everything about me ; suggesting that I may know an old GF from school ; or I might know the fiance of my friend . FB will one day become a legal dilemma ; because if u comment on your ex pic , I want to kill u ; who will be able to tell if really mean it or joking ? Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 You can limit what this specific person can see. In the future, keep it on private, and NEVER EVER add anyone from work. I just tell people that I don't have one, and if by any chance they find it, I say that I thought I had deactivated it. I don't need that in my life, ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 I have my settings on FB so that you can't google search me (well... you can, but my profile will NOT show up), and if we have no friends in common, you can't friend request me. I also have people on the restricted list, who see nothing that is not public... and I have not ever made a public post that I can recall. So literally, they see nothing at all, not even my profile pictures. I also have some people on the acquaintances list. These people can see everything, in general, but I have my settings so that every post is to friends except acquaintances. So again, they barely see anything, apart from a post or two here and there. I have lots of work people on my FB. Some bosses, plenty of co-workers. But these ARE people I would go and have a drink with. If they're not, I don't add them (as is the case with the current boss. Don't need her seeing my FB, even if that might put me at a slight disadvantage with regards to other co-workers who do have her on FB and are friendly friendly with her) Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 what is her facebook page like? she might be lonely just come off facebook, close your page down, she might get wierder and take offence if you block her open a new facebook page later on Link to post Share on other sites
SSM3 Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Don't use Facebook...simples! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 I don't mind adding coworkers to FB if they aren't management and if they pass the "fight club" test when we're out having fun and shooting the breeze at a bar or club or whatever. Such people are also friends to me. No way in hell would I add my boss (if I did, it would be into a highly restricted group). That said, I don't spend much time on FB to begin with. There have been many news stories about people getting reprimanded or even fired because of something they posted on Facebook, so you have to be cautious about adding coworkers, your privacy settings and what you post. Also, depending on where you work and the industry/field you're in, not having a social media account or failing to disclose that you have a social media presence may be viewed as a red flag. Some places prefer or even expect you to keep up with recent societal trends when it comes to communication. Keep that in mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I have a coworker on facebook who has our boss on hers and I know he sees me, but I am thankful he hasn't tried to add me. Though we work in a close knit company, I am not comfortable with this as it's just too much conflict of interest. In my coworker's case, she was friends with my boss before she was hired at our company way before me, so for her it's not really a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
purplesoccer34 Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 This actually happened to a friend/coworker of mine. Our boss tried to add her and she blocked him lol. When he asked her why she didn't add him, she just told him that she deleted her profile. It's personally no big deal for me, because I barely ever post anything on facebook, but I can see how it would be real awkward to add your boss. Especially if you're an avid facebook user, posting new things all the time. You do have the option of hiding things you don't want your boss to see, and you can customize it so that they're hidden from her only. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I would strongly advise against simply blocking the person and telling them you deleted the profile. If they actually notice you've disappeared then chances are they're keeping a closer eye on your profile than you realise. It's a lie that is easily found out, the boss just has to ask someone else if they can see you, or it may arise in conversation at work (eg another employee tells you they love your new car they saw on facebook over the weekend. In front of boss!). If the boss finds out you actually lied to them the consequences would be much harsher than simply deleting them and when it comes up telling them it made you feel uncomfortable. I never add anyone I wouldn't stop and chat to in the street as a friend, so no acquaintances, and never add anyone from work. I actually added a girl at my new job recently so I could see her nail tech on her friends list as I wanted the number (the co worker added me for this reason I mean) and then immediately deleted her. Just told her straight I'm really cautious about work people seeing my private life and while I think she's great(I do) if I add her it then makes it super awkward to decline others and before I know it the team leader is adding me and thinks I am snubbing her specifically. The co worker understood and actually agreed with me totally, saying she wished she'd taken that approach to begin with cos now she has everyone, boss included, on there and it makes her feel uncomfortable. I regularly cull my list in case anyone is lurking on there I no longer speak to or don't wish to in the future, I suggest you have a huge cull, including the boss, learn to be way more careful with your online security and assertiveness (if someone adds you who you don't wanna accept just delete it and make a joke of it if it comes up 'omg I couldn't handle the boss on there, I would worry what you'd think of me if you saw what my friends were like!' Or any old crap, anyone with an ounce of tact would accept this and not push it. Maybe I'm wrong but I think a boss would respect someone with firm clear boundaries and professionalism. But it doesn't hurt to have a 'reason' if it comes up and being more careful about your online security is a good reason. I have a pseudonym, my profile locked down to private and people can't even send me a friend request, meaning no more awkward adds. They can message me though and it's a lot more socially easy to tell someone why you can't add them than it is to add and then delete someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 It was when I was brand new, our company is pretty small and has somewhat of a family feel. Ive been there a few months now and it has been bothering me every since. I feel it was a mistake on my part to add her but also felt like not accepting the friend request was also rude. I feel its now an invasion of my privacy. I don't post anything work related or negative or inappropriate but I still consider it a place for just me. She doesn't really comment on anything or ask me about posts but she has liked about a dozen or so pictures so she is following me. Is there ANY way out of this? How do you defriend your boss? Sidenote, I just saw her at one of our company meetings...in 3 days she spoke barely a word to me nor made much eye contact. While I am assuming that not speaking to me was not as much personal but due to the fact there were 100 other people there and she had many other things and people to focus on, still, That's one example of why she should not be a "friend" on fb. Thinking about it again, you need to delete your boss. Even if she can't see all that you write, she can however see when you're on facebook. You can't hide that even if you're invisible. So, you never know if she is checking up on you while you're at work and on fb. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 It's just Facebook, who cares? Cant people live without Facebook anymore? Yes but I keep being reminded to log on to go and see cute pictures... Bad idea to have your boss on there unless you are great friends already. Just delete her off anyway and say nothing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
littleplanet Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 It was when I was brand new, our company is pretty small and has somewhat of a family feel. Ive been there a few months now and it has been bothering me every since. I feel it was a mistake on my part to add her but also felt like not accepting the friend request was also rude. I feel its now an invasion of my privacy. I don't post anything work related or negative or inappropriate but I still consider it a place for just me. She doesn't really comment on anything or ask me about posts but she has liked about a dozen or so pictures so she is following me. Is there ANY way out of this? How do you defriend your boss? Sidenote, I just saw her at one of our company meetings...in 3 days she spoke barely a word to me nor made much eye contact. While I am assuming that not speaking to me was not as much personal but due to the fact there were 100 other people there and she had many other things and people to focus on, still, That's one example of why she should not be a "friend" on fb. Just for starters, I automatically friend anybody who happens to have my last name. That's because they're related to me. (even when I haven't a clue who they are) Long lost 12th removed cousin by default. Uncle Fudd by marriage. It's a clan, man. Okay. You say the company is pretty small, and has a family feel. "Family" feel conjures up all sorts of defining features of a friendly workplace. You might just have a wee chat with your boss. And in so doing, find out what her views are - as far as online privacy......and express your own concerns as well. She's your boss. She's not God. (and if she was, there wouldn't be a helluva lot you could do about it, anyway) I'm guessing your boss did what she did out of mere friendly motives.....and not to pry at all. But there's only one way to find out about that. Talk to her. After all, there are some benefits to working for someone other than the big bad corporate beastie. Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 It was when I was brand new, our company is pretty small and has somewhat of a family feel. Ive been there a few months now and it has been bothering me every since. I feel it was a mistake on my part to add her but also felt like not accepting the friend request was also rude. I feel its now an invasion of my privacy. I don't post anything work related or negative or inappropriate but I still consider it a place for just me. She doesn't really comment on anything or ask me about posts but she has liked about a dozen or so pictures so she is following me. Is there ANY way out of this? How do you defriend your boss? Sidenote, I just saw her at one of our company meetings...in 3 days she spoke barely a word to me nor made much eye contact. While I am assuming that not speaking to me was not as much personal but due to the fact there were 100 other people there and she had many other things and people to focus on, still, That's one example of why she should not be a "friend" on fb. She didn't mean anything by it. I add my employees to FB all the time. I guess it depends on how 'hands on' she is. We set up the type of culture where everyone spends a lot of time with each other. We try to make sure people know there is no fear about personal life versus professional life. In fact, a lot of times our executives live a more liberal life than any of our employees! I don't think it's wrong in practice. It just depends on comfort level. If you remove her...honestly she won't notice unless she specifically has a reason to. Shoot, I never notice someone defriends me unless I specifically look for them...which not that many people matter to me that significantly. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Close your account. If you gotta have that drug, make a new bogus account with no personal information. Only have friends you know on it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I had my ex boss as a Facebook friend. We were actually friends before I worked with her (it didn't turn out well). I ended up (before I left the company) setting my posts to where she couldn't see them. I didn't want her knowing my business, because when stuff started going down at work, she would print out a status if she thought it had ANYTHING to do with work (it never did) and throw it in my face. I ended up hiding all my posts from her, and when I left the company I blocked and deleted her. It's a slippery slope, because a denied friend request can create resentment. I've already decided that I'm going to tell coworkers in the future that I try to keep my Facebook personal. It's too much for a headache. Link to post Share on other sites
jakrbbt Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 (edited) I am no technophile, but would this work? --> Send her a message saying "Hi all, This is a mass email to my friends. [but really it's just to her and maybe anyone else you want to get rid of] I have decided to leave facebook. Here are my email address and telephone number if you want to get ahold of me." Then, block her and change your settings so no one can search for you. That would only work though, if you two never have any FB "friends" in common who might mention you to her. Or else, depending on how attached you are to FB, really leave (with a post about how you are going to), and then come back in like 2 weeks. Edited May 20, 2015 by jakrbbt 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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