pinkyflowergirl Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Okay, am very confused! I have a crush on my boss- well- he is my boss indirectly anyway. He is not someone I report to, and I see him maybe every couple of weeks normally. A few co-workers know of my 'innocent attraction ' to him- knowing only that I find him attractive. Recently, my very quiet, well mannered and almost even shy boss invited me into his office and offered to get for me a document that I was looking for, and proceeded to talk to me for an hour about evrything under the sun, joking around and telling me over and over that I should 'stop by and chat more often'. Since then he has stopped me a few times to chat and we have even shared a few emails where a few small innuendos were made. If he wanted to call me, he could easily locate my number at work. Also, he has my email address if he wanted to contact me to ask me out. So should I assume that he is not really interested?? Wish I could share with you the details of our emails to make it easier to give advice and determine if this is platonic or not, but fear that he will find out this is me!!! Please try to help. Thanks All! Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Where do I start..... Any boss or supervisor who has an ounce of common sense or decency, or (in the US or Canada) knowledge of the law, will not be hitting on persons whom he/she supervises or outranks. Affairs in the workplace are a big disaster. If you need attention and sex that bad, find it ANYWHERE but at work. Bar - club - grocery store - laundromat - whatever. Please. This is for your own good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pinkyflowergirl Posted November 9, 2004 Author Share Posted November 9, 2004 I thank you for your advice, but I gotta tell you, I am neither in desperate need of sex or attention as I get plenty of both- in and out of the workplace! What I have found, is a person who shares the same background, interests and many personality traits who makes me smile eveytime I see him! I understand that romance in the workplace can be risky, but I don't need to be insulted and refered to as someone who 'needs sex or attention that bad'! Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 I'm happy to hear that you already get plenty of sex and attention in and out of the workplace. No insult intended. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 If you have lot of both then why are you spending time talking about "everything on earth"?. Workplaces are for work not romance. Link to post Share on other sites
MelodyJ Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 As much as you do not want to hear it, workplace romance is just not very wise. I'm not saying it can't possibly work, I do know a few people who actually met at work, but it depends on the company policies, and total discretion, and neither was above the other as far as mgmt. Yes, it can be fun to have a little flirtation going on during the course of the day, face it, we spend more waking hours at work that any where else, seems logical that you would meet someone. So, if you can't be 100% sure it won't result in you losing your job, it is not worth it. Unless, besides the all the attention and sex you get outside work, you also get deluged with new job offers, then go for it! Nothing kills a budding romance like UNEMPLOYMENT. As a manager, he should realize that he is putting both your jobs in jeopardy. If he does'nt care, then maybe he is the one not getting enough attention and sex, and in that case I would worry about his intentions. just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Originally posted by SoleMate Any boss or supervisor who has an ounce of common sense or decency, or (in the US or Canada) knowledge of the law, will not be hitting on persons whom he/she supervises or outranks. Affairs in the workplace are a big disaster. If you need attention and sex that bad, find it ANYWHERE but at work. Bar - club - grocery store - laundromat - whatever. Please. This is for your own good. I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 proceeded to talk to me for an hour about evrything under the sun, joking around and telling me over and over that I should 'stop by and chat more often'. Since then he has stopped me a few times to chat and we have even shared a few emails where a few small innuendos were made. Take it all outside of the office. Flirt whatever, but for your own sake and your reputation, keep out of his office. The more you go in there, the more people will notice and talk...And wonder...And gossip...And then soon they will think 'you get special treatment' around the office because of him. Trust me, I have actually seen this situation happen before, sweet and innocent as it is, you are playing with some serious fire! Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I agree 100%--dating a supervisor is never a good idea. It can cause gossip or problems with your co-workers, and if things go wrong with this guy, you're still going to have to see him at work. Link to post Share on other sites
fanou22 Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 Something from your posts tells me he is married. Hopefully I am mistaken Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 What is the protocol for workplace relationships where you work? I know some places outline it very clearly. If it is a 'no no' where you work, I wouldn't push it. If it is not a problem, then I would seriously consider the consequences of it ending badly before I jumped in. After reading your post again, though - this bit caught my eye: If he wanted to call me, he could easily locate my number at work. Also, he has my email address if he wanted to contact me to ask me out. So should I assume that he is not really interested?? I'm guessing if he were interested in a relationship or actual dating, he'd contact you. His phone isn't broken, and his email works just fine. From that statement, it sounds like he is having fun playing the 'office flirt game' whenever you happen to be around, and isn't in the market for an actual relationship. Is he involved with someone else? If he's dating/married - then this flirtation could just be a fun/forbidden diversion from his existing relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
distorted Posted November 28, 2004 Share Posted November 28, 2004 Originally posted by pinkyflowergirl If he wanted to call me, he could easily locate my number at work. Also, he has my email address if he wanted to contact me to ask me out. So should I assume that he is not really interested?? Well if he was to call you up on a work phone, using a number he got at work and initiate anything beyond work he would probably be out of work. I would say he is quite possibly interested in you, and the fact that he has better judgement than some does not discount that. I am on the other side of the fence. As a founding member of the company im quite tied up in the whole thing. I let my feelings for a junior employee get in the way, despite it being out of character for me. I have already lost a longterm g/f and the respect of some close friends and business partners and i do still stand to loose a lot more. Tread carefully and best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 that isn't always the case. Plenty of married couples will tell you the story of how they met at work "so-and so" years ago---just make sure he IS NOT A MARRIED MAN ALREADY WITH THE SAME STORY TO TELL YOU! I am assuming he is not married since it was never mentioned, so what I will tell you is this: Be Careful! Very Careful! Make sure you BOTH keep work and private life seperate. Agree on this before anything starts up. Don't gossip to the gals in the office about how much you like each other, how your last date went, whether you two are having sex, and what he's like personally. Keep your private life with him "private". You need to be very careful what you say about him or your relationship. The thing is, no matter how close you are to one of the coprorate gals, they all have a tendancy to spread the news very fast. Not to mention, it will get back to him. This goes for your possible future boyfriend too, who should be aware men do chat and gossip in the workplace as well. Use protection against for sex! Make sure this is love and not a hot office affair! Don't let your emotions get in the way when it comes to your work and being a team player. Link to post Share on other sites
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