Rude boy Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 My father started a business before I was born. He got two of his friends to buy in and it really took off and now they're all worth quite a bit. The plan was when they retired their boys would take over. As a result, the six of us all went to college, and while my two brothers chose not to get involved later, four of us have. In September, I took over the duties of the oldest partner and run what he use to. I'm the first one to complete my degree and my dad and the second partner aren't ready to step down, so currently I'm the only one there. On my lunch I go downstairs and talk to people. It's not my job description but for some reason I like to. I think it's because my dad and his partners have reputations of being unapproachable. Yet everyone seems to like them... I always go talk to a certain group of secretaries, all of whom are older ladies. Yesterday I went down and could hear them talking say things like "pretty boy should be here any minute" and " I wish I could just be handed a job by my daddy too." And "get ready for him to come flirt with you Debbie." Debbie is a woman that I've known my entire life and probably the one I like most, but I've never flirted with her. I just think she's a nice lady. Needless to say, I didn't go talk to them. I was a little embarrassed. I want people there to like me and maybe they don't. I don't even want them to see me walk in today or go to the Christmas party on Friday. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Don't take it too seriously. Just laugh it off. People always, always have a certain degree of resentment toward their bosses. You have made the effort to be nice and friendly with them, so it's not really fair, but it's just a fact of life. Once you're the boss or related to the boss, you're sort of the enemy. Also remember that it could just be one loudmouth that is really making the comments and then a couple who feel that out of comraderie, they must go along with it and agree. Just laugh it off. I'm not sure but what I wouldn't have called them on it that day, but I'm cantankerous like that. Be extra nice to them and see if you can make them feel guilty for being little bitches. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 (edited) You're in management. Now you know why your father is standoffish. Production (and perhaps respect) is what matters - not to be 'liked'. Go to the Christmas party (if you're supposed to be there) and act respectable and distinguished. And yes, you can also be amicable - but because it's a party. Edited December 18, 2014 by UpwardForward 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 You weren't "handed" anything. You went to college & you are working with your father. Continue to do your job but maybe only go mingle with the staff 1 day per week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Just fire them and hire a new staff, lots of people looking for work and you're the boss! Haha J/king, seriously, don't do that. I went through something similar as you OP, where I use to be a co-worker and than was promoted as a supervisor, the dynamics just changed between the relationship because of it. For a few coworkers who I knew outside of work it really didn't, but for the majority it did, because now I was the boss. And because of the boss, I had to uphold the rules of the company much more now, and do disciplinary actions, when before as a co-worker I would have overlooked it or found it funny. You have a take a more authoritative role when in management and be fair to all your employees. If you can do that you can gain their respect. If you try to be their best friends/buddy, you will lose that. It's a tough situation but it is the reality of thing. And yes, be prepared to always be looked at and having all of your actions over-analyzed, even your interactions with other worker. At one point, some people thought I was having a affair with one co-worker due to the amount of time I would spend with them in a separate room, when in reality I was helping her prepare for a possible promotion, as I had done with two other male workers. Guess they figured I wasn't gay so I couldn't be having an affair with them Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Lunch time is when the employees can sit and blow off steam if need be between them. Then the boss walks in and that time to vent is gone. Let them have their time alone. If they need something, they'll come to you. Don't take it personal. Let them have their private time. if you want to say hi, do it before or after lunch. Be brief and let them go on with their day. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 #1 thing you gotta realize is that as a manager you need to always keep your emotions in check! That means not always reacting to company drama, and only to the job at hand. Personally, I am not in for older people these days. I find the younger generation has less gossip and drama involved and are more work/team oriented. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 My father started a business before I was born. He got two of his friends to buy in and it really took off and now they're all worth quite a bit. The plan was when they retired their boys would take over. As a result, the six of us all went to college, and while my two brothers chose not to get involved later, four of us have. In September, I took over the duties of the oldest partner and run what he use to. I'm the first one to complete my degree and my dad and the second partner aren't ready to step down, so currently I'm the only one there. On my lunch I go downstairs and talk to people. It's not my job description but for some reason I like to. I think it's because my dad and his partners have reputations of being unapproachable. Yet everyone seems to like them... I always go talk to a certain group of secretaries, all of whom are older ladies. Yesterday I went down and could hear them talking say things like "pretty boy should be here any minute" and " I wish I could just be handed a job by my daddy too." And "get ready for him to come flirt with you Debbie." Debbie is a woman that I've known my entire life and probably the one I like most, but I've never flirted with her. I just think she's a nice lady. Needless to say, I didn't go talk to them. I was a little embarrassed. I want people there to like me and maybe they don't. I don't even want them to see me walk in today or go to the Christmas party on Friday. Any advice? Ouch. I'd actually face this and say something. Turn on it them but in a nice way. You could say, hey I heard what you guys said the other day and I just wanted you to know that I work hard and just because I'm the boss's son doesn't mean I get special treatment. In fact, I have to work twice as hard as everybody else and I get excluded because of who my father is. Or just ignore it and don't go talk to them anymore. Bottom line is, if you couldn't do the job properly you wouldn't be there. Sure you may have got in the door because of your dad but you're the one doing the work now to show that you deserve to be there. Bosses are bosses and not many go and socialize with their employees. Your dad and his partner are respected because they are in charge. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 The only thing I'd worry about is the allegations of flirting, I'd pull Debbie aside and tell her you overheard that comment, and didn't think that you had been flirting with her and ask her what she thinks, because the last thing you want is to be thought of acting inappropriately. Maybe Debbie can warn the big mouth about making inappriopriate allegations too. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Supervisors and owners aren't supposed to mess with employees in any manner. Verbally or otherwise. Not with challenging them regarding personal things you overheard about yourself - or their idea of your supposed motives. Best thing you can do (from now on) is to treat them in a business-like manner, and converse only regarding their jobs / business. Look for friends elsewhere. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rude boy Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 I stopped going down to chat with them. At the Christmas party, i just stuck with my father and his partners, the one I replaced came as well. I had explained the situation to them and they all said to keep to myself. When the employee who said I'd been given the job came up I made a joke about being given my job and my dad said it was funny because I was the one they were hardest on. The employee looked embarrassed and Debbie kept looking in my direction when I'd meet her gaze she would get red and turn away. But, I realize I can't be friends with the people who will one day work for me. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 In a way, you have been handed a golden opportunity and there's nothing wrong with that. You seem to appreciate the opportunity you've been given and you've groomed yourself for being successful. Just understand that most people don't have those opportunities in life and it's going to create jealousy. You just need to learn how to deal with it, without being arrogant. Eventually, everyone will get over it and accept your place in the company. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I stopped going down to chat with them. At the Christmas party, i just stuck with my father and his partners, the one I replaced came as well. I had explained the situation to them and they all said to keep to myself. When the employee who said I'd been given the job came up I made a joke about being given my job and my dad said it was funny because I was the one they were hardest on. The employee looked embarrassed and Debbie kept looking in my direction when I'd meet her gaze she would get red and turn away. But, I realize I can't be friends with the people who will one day work for me. You are management now and can't be buddies with your employees. Good, glad that person was embarrassed, maybe a lesson was learned to not make jokes about the sons boss to his face or when he's in hearing distance! Duh. Link to post Share on other sites
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