Do you like your boss?

[Banker Chick]

I'm curious so figured I'd put this question out to you all. I started a new job about 5 weeks ago and my "big" boss is a jerk. I'll ultimately be reporting to a mid-manager and she seems ok although I guess the two of them are very good friends. I'm 46 and I guess I've been lucky in the jobs I've had in the past in that I've had several good mentoring relationships with my managers and some I still talk to today even though I haven't worked with them for years. This guy talks about everyone in the department, curses like a sailor even if he's just met you, has extremely inappropriate conversations about various topics and will consume all your time with inane personal stuff he's going through. It's unfortunately something that needs to be tolerated to stay there because he's worked with the owner and CFO for over 25 years.

 

 

So what type of relationship do you have with your boss and do you get along with them? I don't want suggestions on how to get along with my jerk boss as that's not really the issue. I'm more just wanting to do an informal poll to see what others' experiences are. I don't expect a close, personal relationship but it's at least nice when you respect the person and feel you can go to them about work issues and get good, honest feedback.

 

 

Are jerk bosses the norm or the exception?

[d0nnivain]

I work in a social profession. I have always liked most of my bosses. There have been 1-2 I didn't care for but at this point in life & now that I don't work for some of them, I do consider them personal friends & we socialize every so often.

[devilish innocent]

I've think a lot of it depends on what industry you work in, as well as the culture of your company/department. In the minimum wage type jobs I had, I never had a problem with any of my bosses. I showed up, did my work to the best of my ability, and they at least seemed to appreciate it.

 

Since I've had more professional jobs, I've seem to run into only two types of bosses-either the really good ones or the really bad ones.

 

The really good ones who care about you as a person. They try to make sure they are not overworking you. They go out of their way to let you know your work is appreciated. They listen to you. They will think of little perks to offer their employees. They just seem to genuinely have your interests at heart.

 

The really bad ones are the exact opposite. They often wait until the very last minute to tell you what has to be done, so that you are stressing out rushing through it. They have unreasonable expectations about how much you should be able to do. They want you to work long hours and then be available to work during your vacation. They aren't personable. Their only concern seems to be getting as much output as possible so they can get a raise or bonus.

 

My last workplace had one of the good ones and one of the bad ones. My current one has had four good ones, and only one bad one. I think a lot of that may be the culture though. I wouldn't be surprised if the bad bosses are as common as the good ones.

[LadyAnglerTx]

First boss I worked for (for 10 years) was excellent. Fair, honest, supportive and pulled his own weight. Never had a boss like him since. My current boss is clueless and complains that "this job wasn't what I expected". My boss before that was a bully. Like I always say, work would be GREAT if it weren't for the people!

[Eternal Sunshine]

My 2 "big" bosses are wonderful. I highly respect them and like who they are as people. They are fair, honest and kind.

 

We get along very well, I am also completely loyal to them and will defend them as soon as I hear anyone say even a hint of a negative. They also promoted me recently so the feeling is probably mutual

 

My line manager - I am kind of indifferent. He is a nice enough person but as he was recently hired I am not sure what to think yet. My previous line mamager, I had issues with her work ethic as she would randomly take days off and not communicate so she was only present around 50% of the time.

[pink_sugar]

A lot of my bosses in retail were terse and not friendly. My current job has the most relaxed environment of any job I have had. Everyone is like a family and the environment is pretty relaxed, so there is occasional swearing even with management.

[GemmaUK]

I work directly for the finance director of the UK entity of a global company.

 

 

We get along great mostly.

 

 

Not just now though.

 

 

I'm working out how to deal with it.

[ASG]

I don't really know my "big" bosses. Met them once, briefly, at a meeting. My manager though... we do ok, but I don't like her much. Most of our interaction is via email, anyway, so we don't see each other often.

 

I've had all kinds of bosses. One of them I consider a friend of sorts and we keep in touch

 

I think I've only really disliked one boss, who was a drunk.

[pink_sugar]

The best type of bosses IMO are the ones who leave you to do your work and don't micromanage you. My boss is always in and out and if there are questions, we communicate online or through email.

[mrs rubble]

My immediate boss, is the nicest boss I've ever had. He helped me to the emmergency dept a few months back when I had trouble breathing at work. He's thoughtful and greatful. Doesn't hurt that he's very easy on the eye too.

My higher managers, are generally pretty good too. Although they're not my favourite people at the moment as they made me work a graveyard shift on my recent birthday.

[newmoon]

i think it depends on the company/profession and also the employee. problem employees will have issues with even the nicest of bosses. personally, i have liked all but 1. i find they are mostly easy to get along with, fair, and just wanting to be left alone too :-)

[Banker Chick]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I think this situation has me disheartened a little because I've had such good experiences in the past. I have always worked in Finance/Credit/Wealth Management and each boss has ultimately helped me in advancing my career and becoming a better employee. I have heard this big boss will do the same but one has to be able to tolerate his rough edges and Neanderthal behavior. He's the boss that you want to avoid going on business trips with or sitting beside at a dinner event. Some say he is bi-polar but I don't know and really don't care. I just want to do a good job at work and continue to move ahead and become more marketable. The mid-manager to whom I report on a daily basis doesn't seem to be showing much promise but she's new too so maybe things will get better. I guess time will tell

[GemmaUK]

Perhaps there is a case here for both yourself and the middle manager to join forces and find out what makes him tick?

 

 

Some people you can find out that kind of thing about just by observing and it is totally possible to have a brilliant working relationship with someone who no one else gets on with.

 

 

I remember a few years ago when I was pretty new and working for this company, I had taken over doing expenses which can obviously be an emotive issue - especially when an expense item is declined.

 

 

I had to decline some expenses for this guy Alan and my finance director knew about it. He offered to send Alan the mail to say that we wouldn't be paying xyz of the claim and my FD's words to me were 'you do not want to go there with Alan'.

I declined my FD's offer of sending the mail as I saw no reason that I couldn't handle it.

 

 

Alan was a pussy cat with me!

I was respectful, clear, concise and all that and Alan was fine about it - even apologised to me.

I hadn't met him but at that point but chose to ignore all of the pre-conceived ideas that I would have a rough time with him. I simply did my job and didn't over explain anything (which could be the way some approach him - which in turn to Alan could come across that the mail sender thinks he is a bit dense and doesn't understand the company policies.

 

 

I had one and only one run in with Alan in the 7 years I worked there.

I had sent a mail out saying that paperwork needed to be in a day early due to an national holiday.

He missed seeing that email and he sent a reply to me when I said he had missed the cut off - he blew up at me but also sent his reply to all of the UK staff including the directors too.

 

 

I replied politely and copied in only his boss and mine and attached the original mail I had sent explaining the early cut off date.

 

 

I got a very sweet apology from Alan and he also copied both of our bosses in. He also got a stern word so I believe from his boss the director of sales.

 

 

He was pretty disrespectful to me when he blew up - but I was respectful back to him. He acknowledged that.

 

 

We never had any other issues and actually got on like a house on fire and would always chat to each other at company events or when he was down south for work.

 

 

I'd be more than happy to work with him again.

Not one other employee in that company understood why we got on though. It was down to mutual respect at the end of the day..and a mutual love for Shane McGowan and The Pogues..

[denise_xo]

I have a great boss. For me most part, he gives what I need to do my job, when I need it, and he takes care of the stuff that needs to go through senior management. In most other respects, he just lets me get on with things and doesn't micro manage. It's a very good combo. I think my current boss is one of the best I've had.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I've been very lucky in that I've worked with some amazing managers over the years particularly since I shifted careers and started working in non-profit.

 

Like most things, some managers are better than others but for the most part I have always gotten along well with all my managers if only because I work hard at keeping the peace and steering clear of office drama that can sometimes become a black hole.

 

My current manager is fine enough. I have a lot of respect for her and we both have the same work ethic which goes a long way in making our working relationship better than most.

 

I agree with pink_sugar when she said that the best managers are ones that do NOT micromanage you/me. This resonates with me BIG time. Tell me what needs to get done then leave me alone to do it. Thankfully I've earned a great reputation not only in my own organization but in my field for delivering results as well as for my positive and creative attitude. This has afforded me a lot of freedom in my industry of which I'm forever grateful.

[Ken Thompson]

It's always nice to work around people you like, and, respect. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. You don't control or 'make' other peole. Your boss, or a boss, is there because someone above him put him there. He's there because he does his job the way the higher bosses want it dome. There's always a way, a button, a something that you can do to make the person easier to get along with.

[Emerald_11]

A lot of my co-workers seem to think my boss is a jerk. I have never had any issues with him myself always gotten along with him really well. However I have witnessed him say things he probably should have kept to himself.

 

 

My boss I is pretty cool though. He is easy going and flexible to peoples needs as far as scheduling and other things.

 

 

It probably helps that in this job -it is a commission-sales environment- and I am a very effective sales person. I have been the top sales performer 2 months straight. - So that may be getting me favoritism type treatment from him.

[Eternal Sunshine]

My worst boss was one that constantly micro-managed me. I felt suffocated and used to look forward ot his annual/sick leave.

 

Currently I have a lot of freedom to work independently. My high level bosses don't have time to micro-manage. They come to me with ideas, introduce me to important people but it's up to me to make or break my career. There is bare minimum of what I am required to do and the rest is up to me initiate and drive projects, collaborations etc.

 

My line manager leaves me alone and is just happy that I make big bosses happy.

Edited November 27, 2014 by Eternal Sunshine

[veggirl]

My direct boss is nice, I'm fairly neutral on him. We aren't super close or anything but he's also never given me a reason to dislike him or think he's mean. He mostly just leaves me (us) alone unless he needs something. It's nice!

 

My "big" boss is off-site and she's okay. She's friendly and chatty but just sooo spacey and annoying. I can't say I dislike her, she's fair and treats everyone well...she's just annoying.

 

My last boss? Total bitch, one of the most horrible people I've ever met in my LIFE! Really awful person. As long as I never encounter THAT again, I'm fine with whoever you throw at me. She was suuuuch a bitch!! and was ALL OVER what you were doing, she was the type that think employees need to be scolded and watched or else we will all just watch soaps all day long and not work or something. She really sucked. Her days off were heaven on earth.

[youdunsay]

My last boss? Total bitch, one of the most horrible people I've ever met in my LIFE! Really awful person. As long as I never encounter THAT again, I'm fine with whoever you throw at me. She was suuuuch a bitch!! and was ALL OVER what you were doing, she was the type that think employees need to be scolded and watched or else we will all just watch soaps all day long and not work or something. She really sucked. Her days off were heaven on earth.

 

What have she done, may I ask?

[Emilia]

My line manager is awesome. He is a marine engineer by trade and I usually get on with engineers anyway. He is also a funny, kind family man. I have a lot of time for him socially too.

 

The big boss is a c*** and pretty much everyone hates him. I'm sure the feeling is mutual, I couldn't care less.

[thefooloftheyear]

Just like head coaches in competitive sports, the most successful heads of companies aren't people's "buddies" and sometimes aren't nice...Thats the way it goes....

 

That crap only works for Google, where the boss leaves a cookie for you on your computer every day, and lets you take a nap with your teddy bear after lunch..

 

But really...

 

As a boss, I dont really care if an employee thinks I am mean..I can be at times..Usually though its only when the shyt is hitting the fan and the pressure is on...Most, if not all of my employees over the years may not all have liked me(some did and some didnt-thats just human nature.), but they universally respected me, because I rarely, if ever, made it personal, paid them well and timely, and always treated my people with respect that they earned/deserved. Ive done a lot for my guys over the years, even some that I didnt particularly care for..

 

Ive always had this conversation with new hires where when I lay down some of the ground rules and what is to be expected, I flat out tell them not to kiss my ass, buy me coffee in the morning, or have your mother bake me an apple pie and we dont have pizza parties on friday...All that is gonna do is annoy me, like what t am I supposed to do now, forgive all of your screw ups?? Come in, work hard, lets all make some money, we'll have a few laughs and go the fck home...Plain and simple..

 

Some larger companies with multi-levels of leadership often employ the "good cop-bad cop" strategy, which is very effective...Let one boss be the hardass and the other the easy going one...Keeps employees on their toes without breaking their spirit..

 

So I guesss my feeling is that one shouldnt worry too much if their boss or supervisor is "mean"..As long as its not personal, and your workplace isnt a miserable hell hole, and your paycheck clears, just roil with it and carry on about your business..You really dont know what is going on inside that persons head, anyway...

 

TFY

[veggirl]

What have she done, may I ask?

 

She was the owner's daughter...she did whatever the fk she wanted. And watched over everyone else like we were criminals or 3 yr olds who couldn't be trusted around a stove.

[michellew]

No, I don't like my boss. She's a mess, can't focus, has no leadership skills, and is VERY unprofessional. She makes mountains out of molehills. What takes me an hour, would take her a week. It's quite frustrating.

 

It's also very sad because we used to be good friends and would do things outside of work. I've had to distance myself from her over the past few months so that people don't associate her work ethic with mine. (Plus, I am to the point where spending work hours with her is MORE than enough.)

 

At the rate things are going, I don't think she'll be around much longer.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I hate to say it but there is much less drama with male bosses.