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Why did he stop speaking to me?


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Well to make long story short. Had a crush on my manager. I never did flirt with him at work at allll, we had a very brother sister type of relationships which means we showed NO attraction towards each other but secretly i liked him. Well i got fired (for unrelated reasons) and then a week later he texted me asking if i was going to the interns going away party and he said he broke up with his gf. I went to the party he was wayyy more drunk than i am but he wasn't sliding his speech or all over the place, it was just his eyes, i could tell but he was still speaking normally. Well i went to the bathroom and then he saw me and initiated kissing me and we started making out. Next day my friend said he kept saying he was really drunk and didn't want. Talk about it. Just kept emphasizing that he was drunk. He made me feel unattractive after that ! Do u think he said this because if he were sober he would have never kissed me or that he's actually not attracted too me? Uhh anyways we haven't spoken since. I'm wondering what went through his head! Also he was trying to have sex with me but i declined it...

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sdrawkcaB ssA

One reason I stay away from drunk people coming on to me.

 

When you are drunk emotional ties are not working, and if anything sex is the only thing being shared between you, even though you said no.

 

As with anyone, the day after, you are left thinking WTF did I do.

 

Don't bother with contacting him, as there is not much to keep a strong relationship between you. Seeing how easy he is when drunk, makes me wonder if he is a stable drinker, let alone trust worthy.

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Makes sense. I mean its kinda my fault for even allowing the little makeout session knowing how he is! Ive only worked with him for 2 yrs but during that time we became friends. Anyways..then I always think, or believe people use "drunk" as an excuse. I felt like he knew exactly what he was doing but next day felt stupid with how he acted. I guess I will never really know.what happen there lol i deleted his number and I doubt I will ever see him again,

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dede1987,

he used you as a "comfort blanket" after he broke up with his GF,

 

and then a week later he texted me asking if i was going to the interns going away party and he said he broke up with his gf

 

he was looking for a bit of nookie and (fortunately) you didn't oblige. You did nothing wrong.

So now he's showed you what he really is ( an opportunist ) you can avoid him, right? :)

 

I made it a rule years ago when I was dating that I didn't get involved with drunks and it's a good rule to have.

 

So now you're free to look for that nice sober attentive guy who's out there waiting for you...

 

Good luckx

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You're absolutely right. I shoulda known better! Lol i guess I was just so excited that I finally got my crush' attention that I overlooked alllll the red flags. Thanks again

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Makes sense. I mean its kinda my fault for even allowing the little makeout session knowing how he is! Ive only worked with him for 2 yrs but during that time we became friends. Anyways..then I always think, or believe people use "drunk" as an excuse. I felt like he knew exactly what he was doing but next day felt stupid with how he acted. I guess I will never really know.what happen there lol i deleted his number and I doubt I will ever see him again,

 

I'm not sure what you mean about 'knowing how he is' but if the two of you are single, then I don't see why a make-out session was all that bad. I agree with you about how getting drunk is just an excuse to do what a person wants to do in the first place. But he definitely premeditated this because he asked if you were going to be there, and specifically mentioned that he and his gf broke up. I'll bet he wasn't drunk when he sent that text.

 

I'm not sure what was going on in his head but I'm guessing this won't be the last time you hear from him. Just be careful with a guy like this. If he runs hot and cold and doesn't follow-up after behavior that definitely required a follow-up, he sounds like bad news to me. I'm really glad you didn't have sex with him.

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There's no way we would know what's going on in his head. Being drunk at the patry may or may not have anything to do with it. You seem to be still interested in him. My advice would be to forget him and move on, but if you really want to know why he's not speaking to you then the only way to find out is to ask HIM - not strangers on the internet.

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He knew you had a crush on him. Usually you can tell if someone has a crush on you and if you ever told your friend, then she or someone else who noticed probably told him anyway. I mean, you can tell by how much time someone is spending with someone at work that isn't really warranted that something is going on. Just because you keep it secret by not telling them doesn't mean they don't pick up on it.

 

He decided to check you out now that you're not working there and for whatever reason, whether that be feeling guilty about being with someone and not the ex or knowing he wasn't going to be serious with you, we'll likely never know. He knew you were crushing and for a minute it felt good to his ego. Don't burn any bridges in case he is in a better state of mind a year from now, but don't hang around and try to stay in regular contact because that will just make you look like someone you can walk all over and you can never undo that.

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