My Life is a mess!

[LoNeR sLoNeR]

My life is such a mess...I hate it. Everytime I think I'm good at something I end up being a failure anyways.

 

I have totally nutty parents -- they charge me $$$ for every damn thing, I got an eviction notice from them..have to be out by oct 31...i get treated like **** by everyone else in my family.

 

I have no friends...I don't have my license...I'M A TOTAL ****ING FAILURE

 

I suck at my job -- nobody likes me there!

 

EVERY DAMN DAY SOMEBODY HAS TO TALK **** ABOUT ME..I AM TIRED OF IT AND I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING I'M HAPPY WITH EVERYTHING.

 

**** IT ALL..

 

EXCUSE THIS..I'M JUST IN A BAD MOOD!

 

...OH AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING..IT'S ALL MY FAULT -- THERE I SAID IT.

[Sukotto]

Dude stop blaiming yourself thats the first thing that you need to do. If you say its your fault then you'll start to believe it. People will pick up on your persona and act accordingly. All this negativity is bad.

 

First thing to do is to make yourself happy, just a little change each day.

 

I guess the top thing is get somewhere to live, talk to your parents about their problem with you but don't be confrontational or argue with them. Admit when your wrong rather than denying it and even if they blow things out of proportion dont let it get to you. If you get angry it will make things worse.

 

If they constantly charge you for stuff explain that you'll never be able to save and move out if your constantly paying them.

 

Your job sucks? look for another then that will give you satisfaction.

 

Want to meet friends? Go join some sort of club or take up some sort of hobby, i'm sure there must be something locally.

[Naive]

This should have really been in the Confessions and Rant section, you seem to be blowing off a lot of build up steam. Give yourself a break, everything in your life cannot be that bad.

[LoNeR sLoNeR]

Today is kind of better..I really didn't explain myself in my post...

 

I have been having horrible days at work..I just can't quit this job like that -- it pays very good...especially for just being out of highschool..well I guess I shouldn't refer to it as a job as it is something I could do for the rest of my life that I could live off of, I like working there but things have been hell for me lately. I have been putt puttin around doing something so I won't have to do things I don't want to do..little did I know..my boss noticed that -- which I was always feeling guilty because I knew I wasn't doing what I was supposed to..so she explained somethings to me, and I just felt like ****...like I would be working on something and she'd make the comment "omg your still on that one"...and you know what..I might of been working slow but I wasn't deliberately doing that..that really offended me because when I was in about the 2nd grade I was put in special classes because I was so called slow -- I had to fight every year to try to get out of those classes, I was constantly made fun of...those classes weren't for me..so anyways, I didn't get out of those classes until I was a sophomore in highschool...when I got out I had to work my ass off just to get to the level everyone else was at..which btw everyone said I'd never be able to get there but I did! When my boss made that comment I felt like I was being told all over again that I was slow, stupid, retarded..blah blah blah..so I started being bitchy with her..and I feel horrible b/c of that...I apologized to her today..I just hope she doesen't hate me. I understand that it is her job to make sure her employees are doing there job..which I admitted that I was wrong to putt putt around like I was..

 

On top of that I was going into work everyday in a bad mood becuase of some situations at home...Tuesday night..thats the day all that other stuff happened I came home and went balistics...I did something really stupid...which I regret, I slit my wrist ...I'm just at the point where I don't know what to do!

 

I guess I'm just really upset about things right now...hopefully next week will be back to normal