Trouble with my Boss

[amkxoxo]

So I am a young college grad and looking for a full time job. I went to school two hours from my home and it was the best experience ever. I met a lot of great friends and I miss them a lot. I grew as a person and created my own individual life in that area that I miss. I wouldn't mind moving back eventually. I am back living at home with my parents. I work at a grocery store and have been there all through school. I have been there 5 years and am very loyal to them. They have been very flexible with me and let me go back and forth from school to home whenever I was able to work. Now I have my schedule open to them to book me 24/7 since I am job hunting. When I find a full time job for the weekdays, I will work for the grocery store on the weekends for some extra money. They let me have as much time off as I want since its part time.

 

 

I have been into theatre my whole life and am very experienced. I recently took on more part time work teaching theatre to young children. My new boss, Angela, originally asked me to teach Saturday mornings. I was fine with this and the grocery store gave me Saturdays off to pursue this. It was suppose to be 8 week sessions teaching at a time. Because of conficts with the grocery store at first and my hiring paperwork being processed slow, they pushed my 8 week session back and I jut started my teaching last week. Angela, my new boss is already talking about next session classes and schedules, which to me is a little too soon since I just started and we still have 8 weeks until new classes start.

 

They told me I could be more flexible and pick hours that suit me for the next session. I consider myself very reliable, friendly, and I never want to let anyone down. Angela has now informed me that the person teaching the week day theatre classes dropped out and left them high and dry. I felt bad and wanted to help but my grocery store schedule doesn't allow. It varies every week. I get my schedule from the grocery store 4 days in advance. I told Angela I didn't know my schedule yet to tell her yes or no to take the extra classes yet. She started calling me constantly. The day before the teacherless classes to ask if I could take them. I told her "no" because I was working at the grocery store. Angela was very nice and supportive but she started asking me if I could rearrange my grocery store schedule to teach the classes. I found this a little shocking and forward. I told her I couldn't do this and that my schedule changes week to week. She told me she understood and that I only committed to Saturdays so it was fine. They ended up cancelling all of the week day classes due to lack of teacher.

 

 

Angela let me know again that they were trying to get the schedule together for the next 8 week session. As someone who could get a call back for a full time job any day, I was hesitant to commit right away since it was 8 weeks away, and then another 8 weeks of teaching. She needed to know way too early I think. I held her off as long as I could and then gave her a call. This woman was calling me constantly. I only work for her one day a week and she calls almost 3 times a week. A lot of times when I am busy so I do not answer.

 

 

At that point I was hoping to make the second 8 week session all week days and no weekends. The grocery store was fine with it and I wanted more free time on the weekends to drive the two hours to see friends or have them come and visit me. My family is off on weekends too so I would love to spend time with them. When I talked to Angela she told me that they already planned the next 8 week session for me and it was all Saturday. I was bummed and offered to teach during the week. She said "no" and just Saturdays again. I was sad she didn't try and confer with me more about my schedule.

 

 

I told her Saturdays were fine, but that after my second 8 week session of Saturdays, weekends are off the table for me. I asked what day the second session will start, though its a ways away. The date she told me isn't a good one. Its the weekend following my last class of this first session. I figured I would have a week break in between. I made plans to drive down to see my friends who I haven't seen in a long time. I don't want to miss it. We have this whole big fun plan.

 

 

I told Angela that I have a prior engagement and she started asking me what it was and where it was? She then asked if I could still work and then do my plan after? I told her its not possible because I will be away Friday, Saturday, and sunday. She again asked me if I could do my plans after. It was bizarre. Then she asked how far it was and when I told her two hours, she was like "Oh that's not far, you can go after the classes." I again told her it wasn't good for me. And that I only committed to one session of Saturdays and the second one was planned for me, not around my schedule. She seemed displeased. I asked her if we could push it back one week since it wasn't a big deal when we just did it now. She said no and she needs me to start that day. She told me to call her and let her know if I cant do it. But she really needs me too. I am thinking of putting my foot down and telling her I cant do that weekend but all the rest if she would just push it back.

 

 

I want to see my friends and I already made a plan. Its not fair. I am a very reliable worker and have never had scheduling problems at the grocery store. I tried to appease Angela and tell her if we pushed it back one week to the Saturday after, I will be there for the whole eight weeks and I told her how reliable I am. Because of all this scheduling and annoying calls it is making this job seem less and less appealing. I love theatre but I don't need the stress of this. I don't even know if this is worth it. I may only do the two sessions I committed to, the one now, and the next and maybe bow out after that. I don't know if I am in the wrong here? Doing the wrong thing? Can I have some opinions...

Edited October 7, 2014 by amkxoxo

[Yasuandio]

It is stressful becauss you want to maintain your former "friend meet-up" life that might fill up Friday and a weekend. The grocery store can handle that, due to you flexibility in all the other hours.

 

However, when classes are sceduled, and kids need to be taught, sceduling becomes tighter. In the case of an extra-curricular, such as theatre, ruling out Saturday from the go-grt is really limiting your employment options. As a retired arts professor, I can tell you that getting a job in your fiekd especially, is not an easy road - you have really lucked out. And, I think you are about to blow it with you lack of commitment and interest in impressing Angela.

 

I mean, she is desparate to get a class covered, and you turn her done? That was a dumb move. You don't take her calls? Another dumb move. You don't do Saturdays (and she has to take the time to try and reason with you, and attempt to talk you into it)?

 

When the time job comes, you would be at the bottom of my list, that is for sure. You have to decide, do I want to continue to make mynfriends and formernlife a priority ovrr my career?

 

Also, consider the valuable experience you are tossing out the window. Not to mention the "quality" of the potential reference you might receive.

 

Please, talk to the grocery, explain, and turn this around, like fast. I hope you understand these points. Yas

[Banker Chick]

You didn't say in your original post what your degree is in? I don't get the impression it's in theater even though you've been involved in theater for a long time and are experienced, is that correct? What type of jobs have you been applying for?

 

 

If this theater job isn't something you're going to pursue long term, then I wouldn't worry about working around their schedule. I can understand they are trying to keep having classes be available but Angela seems a little pushy. If theater is something you are pursuing long term then I think you might want to be a little more accommodating.

[amkxoxo]

I have a Bachelors degree in marketing. I have been involved in theatre for 20 years. I wanted to stay involved in my long time passion. I want to get into marketing and I have been applying for multiple full time jobs a day. I was hoping to get a full time job for the 5 week days in marketing and then do the grocery store a little on the weekends, and then when I got this new job I was hoping to do the grocery store and some theatre on the weekends. I just felt so put on the spot by Angela. I don't want to do theatre for a full time job, a main job. I want to do marketing. I let Angela know this. I was even up for a job a few weeks ago and I let Angela know this. She continued to call me and ask if I could take more on. It was bothersome. I feel like as much as I am communicating with her and telling her I am available, she continues to put pressure on me. It is not my fault they are low on teachers and I was the only one they could get.

[GemmaUK]

I'd be concerned as to why they are low on teachers.

 

I got a bit confused but it sounded like she was trying to tell you of change of plan but you weren't responding to calls.

 

You wouldn't know unless you had spoken to her.

 

Do yu want to work there more than at the store is probably the question to ask yourself.

Sorry, I'm not sure, your post was confusing.

 

 

ETA: Oh! You want to do marketing?!

Why persue arts teaching and retail as a sideline then?

Am I missing something here?

Edited October 7, 2014 by GemmaUK

[amkxoxo]

I want to be in marketing but have yet to be able to get a job. So I work at the grocery store and teaching theatre on the side. I am loyal to the store because I have worked there for 5 years and they give me whatever time I need off.

 

 

I am having a problem with teaching theatre because of my boss. I am signed up for 8 week sessions at a time. I am currently still in my first 8 week session. She kept bugging me and calling me constantly to talk to me about future sessions and my availability. I tell her I cannot tell her this early. She continues to call me constantly. Some times I answer but other times I do not. I finally talked to her the other day on the phone. She let me know that they already have second session classes taking students. The first class which she requires me to teach is on a day which I cannot attend. I made plans to go visit my friends and I do not want to cancel those plans. The grocery store gave me that day off, but she insists I start my second session classes that day. She even insisted I cancel my plans, or attend then after I teach. I told her I cannot and she insists that I need to teach that day. I'm frustrated by her. And I find it rude that she asks me about my plans, where they are, what time they are, and that I should rearrange my schedule. That is for me to decide and I am telling her I can't teach that day because I clearly do not want to change my plans.

 

 

I asked her if we could push the first class back a week and she said no. Though I know she has moved classes back before so she can do it. I don't know what to do.

[Banker Chick]

Given your desire to pursue marketing, I'd put my foot down with Angela and tell her exactly what you're willing to do and nothing more. I agree that she's overstepped her boundaries although I imagine she's a little desperate trying to find teachers for the class. If she can't respect your boundaries then I would cut ties with her. I think keeping your schedule with the store right now and concentrating on finding a good, full-time job within your area of study would be the thing to do.

[dispatch3d]

Ugh I can't believe your attitude.

 

Alright so in general you cater to work not work caters to you. That's how it works. She was bugging you so much before about the next session because they have to schedule the teacher in advance so that they can run the course. I don't know why you ultimately decided to wait 3-4 weeks or whatever to tell them what you wanted to do, but you ended up screwing yourself over for getting the day shifts you wanted. No fault of there's either, they needed to get someone ASAP, called you 3 times a week to try to get you to decide, and ultimately had to hire someone else because they can't just leave it.

 

Now they have an 8 week session and you want to take the first session off or postpone the whole session so that you can go hang out with your friends on saturday. Also completely unreasonable. You can't dictate when a business operates, and your schedule isn't that important that they should just not operate one weekend. They also can't really hire someone to teach the one class.

 

If I were you I would just start the next session. I also would have decided way earlier when they were calling you 3 times a week whether i wanted to teach the next session, because I' dunderstand the situation I'm in. They need a teacher now, not in 3-4 weeks, and I'd rather make a decision about it than have it made for me because I waited. The whole friends thing I think is stupid, I go to work over hanging out with my friends all the time. I still try to get the days off, but if I can't work beats friends.

 

I am amazed you haven't had any scheduling conflicts with the grocery store considering your attitude.

[amkxoxo]

I think its rude for you to pretty much imply that I am slacking in a sense. I haven't had scheduling conflicts with the grocery store. I take time off at least a week in advance and they are very accommodating. I was even in a wheelchair for 6 months and the store let me roll around the store doing my job.

 

 

What happened was that I got the theatre job. A few days later I got an opportunity to work full time at a great company. The company had me on hold for weeks back and forth about me working with them or not. It was a huge opportunity for me. I would be able to work full time during the week and theatre on the weekends.

 

 

I am required by the grocery store to put in for time off more than a week in advance which I do all the time. All the while Angela kept calling me. She didn't have the teacher for the week day classes and needed me. She would call me a day or two before the class and she seemed irritated that I had a scheduled shift at the grocery store. She even asked me if I could rearrange my schedule with my boss for the next day. I told her no. She did the same thing for two weeks and then finally cancelled the week day classes when the students missed too much time. I also couldn't commit to 8 weeks of week day classes because I was up for a full time job, which she wasn't able to give me. I let her know about my job opportunity and she would say "As much as I am happy for you, I hope you don't get it. We need you." I told her I would let her know asap when I found out if I got it or not.

 

 

Then she kept calling me about the next session. I thought this was way too soon. And I told her I would let her know. She would call me multiple times a week asking "so did you get that job?" I would tell her I didn't know yet and I would call her when I knew. The company just recently got back to me so I reached out to Angela to hopefully have some say in my next session. I am fine with it being Saturdays. Its only that one Saturday I would love to be able to be with friends who I don't see barely ever. Maybe once in 3 months. That's not a lot. I literally work 4 hours a week for this woman. I don't think its necessary to call me that often, especially when I told her I would let her know. I wasn't going to commit to more hours and then get a full time job and be in a bind with both jobs. I told her this I didn't hide this from her and told her my need for a full time jobs, and she said she understood but her actions speak otherwise.

[Banker Chick]

I don't think you should feel bad about anything. She's obviously trying to get her stuff scheduled at the expense of you blowing off your grocery job. Not cool. Just be honest with her if you can't accommodate her and like I said before, if she keeps crossing those boundaries, you might have to just cut ties completely. It's not worth the aggravation.

[beach]

She needs a commitment from you or not! This takes planning because the scheduled class gets printed, advertised and promoted to get attendance.

 

Since you can't commit then just tell her no.

 

It's that simple. She will find someone else.

[amkxoxo]

I am committing to her. I told her when I would be able to start and it is a week after when she wants me to start. I am telling her what I can and cannot do, which is not what she seems to be okay with her. She also often asks me to come in and talk to her on days when I am not required to be there. This theatre is a half an hour away and it isn't a hassle but in a way it is. I am driving and using my gas money to talk to her briefly. She isn't around when I teach so we are unable to talk then. I often email her to communicate. When I email her to reach out I sometimes don't get responses from her. But I am in the wrong when I don't answer her persistent phone calls. If I leave she will have no one. I am the only teacher she has. For right now she should work with what I can do. I have been open with her about working at the grocery store and that I am up for other full time jobs. I haven't hidden this from her.

 

 

Like I mentioned she would often ask me to take the teacherless week day classes that I didn't commit to. I only work weekends. She wouldn't ask me in enough time for me to take the grocery store off. Then she would ask if I could rearrange that schedule, one time she asked the night before, and I told her no. She would often say "Well I know you didn't commit to these so I understand, its not your fault," But then she would still seem irritated when I couldn't rearrange my other job, but it "wasn't my fault"

Edited October 10, 2014 by amkxoxo

[Tayla]

Are you contracted that you make your own hours? If you are employed and she is your manager then you would fair better to be civil . This entire dynamics should have been resolved at date of hire. Your availability and your desire for time off. Upfront and honest.

 

If you are simply volunteering, then that is an entirely different ball of wax.

 

Most Boss' have a level of flexibility for life circumstances. Most boss's also see that they have budgets and goals to meet. If one of the team players isn't playing well...its time to find someone who can.

 

One of my friends likes to say "When work gets in the way of fun...quit work!". Ya might be hungry or starving...but golly you can say your having fun! Ask those who are seeking work how much fun they are having....

[amkxoxo]

I feel like its not about my not being available. Its one week, in between sessions. I'm not taking some random day off in the middle of my class session. When I started we had to push back my classes week after week until my grocery store schedule was cleared for me to start. This leads me to believe that she is flexible. Then she tells me when I start that after my first session I will be able to create my own classes and my availability. I found it rude to starts asking me to take classes during the week right away when she hired me for weekends. I made my availability weekends because that was the job description. Then she seemed irritated when I couldn't drop everything and grab the week day classes. Not my fault. I am available for the next whole 8 week session, except that one Saturday. One day in 8 weeks doesn't seem unreasonable to me, especially since I offered to makeup the first class by adding a week or I even offered to teach it during a week day so that students wouldn't miss out that first class. She hasn't responded though I know she got my message. If she expects me to respond and respect her she will respond to my offerings. I could resign now and she wouldn't have any classes or money coming in.

[rester]

I would be looking for a new teacher if I were her. You don't sound committed to this at all. It sounds like it's critical for the teacher to be there for all 8 sessions. Is one weekend with friends worth giving up the job? That's the decision you need to make. It very well may be that your friends are more important, and that's fine, but I think you're being difficult with this teaching gig.

[amkxoxo]

But I can do all 8 weeks. I told her I can start the week after I visit my friends. She doesn't seem to respond well to this. I am seeing my friends on Saturday (the day of the first class). I offered to teach the first class either Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday and then do Saturdays after that, so we could still be in the same 8 week block. She doesn't seem to like this either. My friends live 4 hours away. She asked me how far away my trip was. Which I felt was none of her business. I don't care if its a plane ride, or its down the street, I am not available. After I told her it was 4 hours away she told me, "Oh well you can teach the classes then you can drive there." That isn't her call to make, and no it is a pretty trying drive. I was planning on leaving Friday night so I could make it and settle in for the weekend. I shouldn't have to be told when I can leave.

 

 

She may look for other teachers...good luck to her. I was I think one of the only people who applied that was qualified and reliable. I haven't missed a class yet. Like I mentioned before the teacher they hired for week days bailed on them and never told them. She never showed up for the first lesson and was never to be heard of again. Yeah she probably bailed after Angela called her a million times. I would never ever do that. She is lucky to have me be there. Its a difficult schedule and program to want to work. That's why many people aren't applying to begin with. Its not a regular full service theatre place. Most places I have studied at go through either semester...fall, spring, summer, or they go from August to May, a normal school year. 8 week sessions at a time is not easy to commit to. You cannot have one day off during that time because different students come every 8 weeks and you cant miss out on a session for them. Also they are half and hour classes only and I get paid by the hour. Right now, I am teaching 3 classes, so I get paid about two hours of work. That stinks. And she is only giving me one more class next session, so pushing 3 hours pay. They should pay someone per class. But they don't. They cant offer full time, but they want someone weekends and week days at random hours in the morning and afternoon, when someone would need a full time job to survive. They are lucky I am only job hunting right now so I have a lot of free time to do this. I enjoy teaching the kids. I love theatre. I want to be able to gain experience in teaching theatre and if jobs don't pan out I can take a more prominent and better paying theatre teaching job at a more prestigious company. This place is like beginners 101. And that's fine. I'm 20 years old. But I have done acting at some major places and this place offers nothing. I even have to bring my own stereo if I need music or back ground noise. My stereo is heavy and I heave it in once a week in a big box. All for the kids. I love teaching the kids.

 

 

When I get there my theatre room is always covered in props everywhere, some of them heavy and I have to move every week. Angela doesn't care. She isn't experienced in her job. She was a mathematical engineer and then she decided she wanted to make a difference in kids and acting/singing, so she quit her mega money job and became the director for this company. I understand her vision and she is enthusiastic, but she seem way to eager to do things that are way too over board. And then she grew up singing so she knows singing. I did singing briefly and know little to none about teaching it. She is so desperate for singing teachers that she offered me singing classes too. I told her I wasn't well versed and not qualified, she was desperate she didn't care and figured I could handle it since acting and singing go hand in hand often. I mean I could, but shouldn't you look for someone else?

Edited October 12, 2014 by amkxoxo

[rester]

But I can do all 8 weeks. I told her I can start the week after I visit my friends. She doesn't seem to respond well to this. I am seeing my friends on Saturday (the day of the first class). I offered to teach the first class either Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday and then do Saturdays after that, so we could still be in the same 8 week block. She doesn't seem to like this either.

 

She doesn't like that because it requires her to rearrange the schedule for one person (you) vs every student in the class. The students are signing up for an 8-week Saturday class, not a 1-Wednesday and 7 week Saturday class. You are lucky she's desperate for teachers. You are being unreasonable to expect her to rearrange this schedule for you.

[amkxoxo]

I offered to start the Saturday classes a week later and do 8 classes all on Saturday. She isn't flexible on that either. Its one Saturday, I haven't had one off in a while. I don't think its that big of a deal. She had to postpone two weeks of classes for me at the beginning because I had to have the grocery store stop booking me. It wasn't a big deal. then, but now it is. I could resign now. Say I can no longer work there. Then what? She has to cancel all of the classes because she has no one else. So how does that help anyone, especially the children? If I fell ill and couldn't teach one week, what would she do? Keep calling me and freaking out? Its one week.

Edited October 13, 2014 by amkxoxo