NGC1300 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Criticizing my work, always has a "better" way, belittling, abrasive, etc. He's not even a superior; just another nobody that I absolutely could mouth off to and not get in trouble. However, I know bullies thrive on reactions so thus far I've just kept calm and exhibited complete indifference. Is this the best course of action? Will telling him off just be a "win" for him? Should I just smile and laugh at everything he says? That could be fun. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Bullies often need someone to stand up to them in some way, to make them stop their behavior. Ignoring them is one tactic. Or tell them "Great idea! Try it out and let us know if it actually works." (Occasionally, even idiots DO have good ideas, so separate the idea from the source/personality.) You can also mock them and subtly put them down, but not so much that you get in trouble or are seen in the same way. If they make a mistake or do something poorly, point it out and offer your own suggestions on how to do it better, and keep reminding them of any major screw-ups. That may stop them from harassing you, so you'll stop reminding them of their flaws. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Ask him when he became a supervisor. if he says he isn't one then tell him to blow it out of his ass and let him know in a way that he knows that your not taking his BS any longer. If need be, do it with others in ear shot because there's a real good chance that your not the only one he bullies. If all else fails then go to the HR and file a complaint. Bullying in the work place is the same as harassment and you don't have to take it. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Bullying in the work place is the same as harassment and you don't have to take it. Is it though? I'm a recent witness to bullying in the workplace, where a couple of fulltime workers bullied another fulltime worker (I'm a contractor). It was painful to watch. I know the recipient has complained about it multiple times to managers (and to me). But it continues. THE COMPANY ALLOWS IT TO CONTINUE. Why? Is it because the definition of bullying is different from person to person? Has anyone seen company policies anywhere that clearly define exactly what bullying is, and why it is considered to be harassment (illegal)? I haven't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Is it though? I'm a recent witness to bullying in the workplace, where a couple of fulltime workers bullied another fulltime worker (I'm a contractor). It was painful to watch. I know the recipient has complained about it multiple times to managers (and to me). But it continues. THE COMPANY ALLOWS IT TO CONTINUE. Why? Is it because the definition of bullying is different from person to person? Has anyone seen company policies anywhere that clearly define exactly what bullying is, and why it is considered to be harassment (illegal)? I haven't. i think it is a fine line where teasing becomes bullying.....and some people are more sensitive than others......bullies use different techniques too.....its hard to say where that line exists..... i agree open book ....i do know however if a person feels bullied they normally are and definitely if other people are around to see it happen it takes on an added harmful dimension for all really...for the people who remain silent and watched another be bullied, for the bully to understand he/she can get away with it....and for the bullied person who becomes isolated and unsure because no one stopped it...on the spot.....bullying has long term far reaching effects on society, work places ....and productivity of employees... its like a loop that is hard to break ......i do feel there should be defined rules that exist over all companies defining what is bullying as you have suggested there is a lack thereof of rules and regulations in regards to this.......the rules should be the same...where ever or when ever you work eat or sleep ...the same..........deb Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Is it though? I'm a recent witness to bullying in the workplace, where a couple of fulltime workers bullied another fulltime worker (I'm a contractor). It was painful to watch. I know the recipient has complained about it multiple times to managers (and to me). But it continues. THE COMPANY ALLOWS IT TO CONTINUE. Why? Is it because the definition of bullying is different from person to person? Has anyone seen company policies anywhere that clearly define exactly what bullying is, and why it is considered to be harassment (illegal)? I haven't. I have. It is part of legislation here, and many companies issue Employee Guidelines which go into great detail about bullying in the workplace, both from the view of the recipient and the bully. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I think making fun of him when he does it and laughing might be the best way. When he's coaching you, hail a fellow worker, Hey, Brenda! You better not miss this: John's over here telling me how to do my job again. Hahahahah. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 You need to go to your manager and let him/her know what's going on. This co-worker has no right to belittle you in any way. Any decent manager would put a stop to it immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 My point is, NGC shouldn't even have to be figuring out how to deal with the bully. The company should be checking them and putting them in their place - or getting rid of them. Like YESTERDAY. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NGC1300 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 I may be wrong here, but going to HR just makes you look weak and like a tattle tale. Let's face it, the most that happens is he gets called in, they slap him on the wrist and say "don't do that", and again I'm left looking weak. I'm left looking like he got to me. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I may be wrong here, but going to HR just makes you look weak and like a tattle tale. Let's face it, the most that happens is he gets called in, they slap him on the wrist and say "don't do that", and again I'm left looking weak. I'm left looking like he got to me. Not at all! Get out of this mindset. This is how something like this escalates or never changes. Just so you know, I'm a manager and I would be very upset if I knew that someone was treating someone else like this. I would also be very upset if the abused person never brought it to my attention. You should go to your manager first. If he/she doesn't do anything about it, then go to HR. You need to make this stop. No one should work in that kind of environment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I have. It is part of legislation here, and many companies issue Employee Guidelines which go into great detail about bullying in the workplace, both from the view of the recipient and the bully. Have you read your link? On pg. 4: "The Equality Act 2010 uses a single definition of harassment to cover the relevant protected characteristics... Harassment is 'unwanted conduct related to a relevant protected characteristic, which has the purpose or effect of violating an individual’s dignity or creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for that individual'. The relevant protected characteristics are age, disability, gender reassignment, race, religion or belief, sex, and sexual orientation." On pg. 6: "Unless bullying amounts to conduct defined as harassment in the Equality Act 2010 it is not possible to make a complaint to an Employment Tribunal about it." So in your country, NGC would be SOL - the bully could continue their behavior unchecked because NGC (and the focus of the bullying) isn't included in the "protected characteristics." Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I may be wrong here, but going to HR just makes you look weak and like a tattle tale. Let's face it, the most that happens is he gets called in, they slap him on the wrist and say "don't do that", and again I'm left looking weak. I'm left looking like he got to me. You are wrong. HR is supposed to protect people. If someone is being harassed or bullied, sexually harassed etc, HR IS there for a reason! This is how those who are in the wrong get suspended, put on notice, are written up, or sometimes even fired. A person who needs help SHOULD ask for help. That's strength not weakness. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 You are wrong. HR is supposed to protect people. If someone is being harassed or bullied, sexually harassed etc, HR IS there for a reason! This is how those who are in the wrong get suspended, put on notice, are written up, or sometimes even fired. In an ideal world, yes. But this is not how it actually works in the real world. HR's sole purpose is to protect the company, not the employees. And in a company that allows bullying to continue unchecked even after an employee has complained to management, you can bet that HR isn't going to be any help either. It's dangerous to trust that a company will do the right thing. IMO the best bet (other than leaving the company outright) is to find a manager or executive in the organization who is actually a decent, honorable human being. There are ways to handle things "in the barracks" and an effective manager can go in there like a stealth bomber and clean things up real quick. I've seen it happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Trane Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Not at all! Get out of this mindset. This is how something like this escalates or never changes. Just so you knoww, I'm a manager and I would be very upset if I knew that someone was treating someone else like this. I would also be very upset if the abused person never brought it to my attention. You should go to your manager first. If he/she doesn't do anything about it, then go to HR. You need to make this stop. No one should work in that kind of environment. Yeah, the immediate solution is to go to HR and file a complaint. I would personally confront the person and ask them what their obsession is? HR should be the last option. Mature, hard working adults should be able to communicate any issues or problems before it becomes an HR soap opera. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Have you read your link? ... So in your country, NGC would be SOL - the bully could continue their behavior unchecked because NGC (and the focus of the bullying) isn't included in the "protected characteristics." Please believe me when I tell you that it IS covered. My first-hand experience confirms it. Bullying is very well covered, I can attest to this. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Wear a concealed tape recorder - and capture 5-6 of his stupid comments. Say nothing back. Option 1. Show him the tape recorder the 7th time. Option 2. Send Tapes anonymously to Manager. Done and done. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
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