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Is my professor into me?


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I was taking a course this summer as a mature student at a university, to upgrade my GPA for grad school. I ended up in this amazing poetry course with this really attractive professor. He is not only attractive in the physical sense...but in every other way imaginable. He is extremely approachable, friendly, and kind. He is also incredibly passionate about the material, which is super hot.

 

Anyway, I've been noticing the extended glances in class, the shyness he has when he hands back my assignments to me. But I did visit him during office hours once and we ended up chatting for almost an hour! He was very informative about the material, yet playful and I really felt like I could sense a connection there. But I'm not really sure.

 

Unfortunately, I recently had to drop the course. I got a really terrible grade on an assignment and I couldn't afford to have that reflected on my record at this point. I sent him an email asking if he could take another look at the assignment for me and he sent me a REALLY long letter (from his personal email address this time). The letter actually brought me to tears, it was very heartfelt and personal. He thanked me for being so enthusiastic and committed in class, assured me that good grades don't define a person and that I shouldn't let this affect my inner life. He also said that he deeply admires and respects my ability to work full-time and balance schoolwork. He said that I should come and speak to him about the assignment anytime, or anything else I'd like to talk about. But he said all of this in a very beautiful, poetic way...lol

 

I have shown my best friend this letter and she said he was just being professional but I feel like he went above and beyond what is expected for a professor. Am I wrong?

 

I wrote back and thanked him for the lovely letter, and said that it was really nice to read.

 

I'm wondering though, has anyone else had this experience with a professor? When does the personal exceed the professional realm of correspondence with them? I am also thinking that the fact that he used his personal email address is somewhat interesting as well. He could have just responded from his work email.

 

Thoughts please?

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A professor can lose their position getting involved with a student.

 

Sounds like you are reading way too much in the letter. He's off limits.

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Smilecharmer

It is sad when a professor can't even be nice without someone thinking they are being hit on. It was a nice letter because he failed you, nothing else.

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It's sad when instead of getting advice from an advice forum, you get bashed by trolls that are so bitter that they have to criticize people from afar to make themselves feel better. Such is life I guess.

 

And by the way, he didn't fail me. I got a 65% which was the class average.

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You got advice. Sorry it didn't concur with your fantasy of your Prince Charming Professor.

 

Yours is about the umpteenth thread us old-timers (look at my post count) have seen that is verbatim to what others have written.

 

"Is my professor into me?" "I can't stop thinking about my professor because of his/her body language." "He/She treats me differently than other students."

 

The advice is the same: Most professors would lose their job by getting involved with a student and 90% of the time, the "attraction" is in the student's head.

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Have to agree with the others. In fact, this story sounds identical to one a few months ago that got the same reaction. He probably felt bad he had to give you such a low mark since he probably hoped the fact you have a crush on him would at least inspire you to excel in his class. That doesn't mean he wants you. Teachers are paid to motivate students.

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I already have a degree, I'm not a 19 teen year swooning first year- I'm 29 years old. I work full-time as an academic advisor at the university which is why I get to take courses for free. He is also not exactly a professor, he is a PhD student so he is very close in age. Not that this makes a huge difference or anything, but it isn't the typical cliche you're all thinking it is.

 

I have never had received a heartfelt response like that before from any of the hundreds of prof's whose classes I've attended. They have all been very professional and they barely can remember a student's name. So I guess I'm just not used to receiving such correspondence...but I do think the odds are that you're probably all correct, and he is not attracted to me at all.

 

Thank you for the advice. I could have done without some of the harshly critical comments...and I still firmly believe that some people just have a perma-chip on their shoulders here.

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That_grl

 

Maybe but I don't see it.

 

As others have said, it's usually bad for teachers & students to mix.

 

It wasn't until your second post that you clarified that you are both employed at the school. His heartfelt response could have been motivated by a desire to make a good impression. He may think you have the ear of people he wants / needs to impress to get hired on FT once he graduates.

 

Since you work at the school too, can you bump into him somewhere like the cafeteria or an employee event so it's clearer that you two have transcended the student / teacher dynamic? In that context it may be easier to gauge romantic interest from professional idealism. A younger teacher may be more able to go the extra mile because that person isn't so jaded or burned out

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Just teasing you.

 

A good teacher always tries to motivate and encourage their pupils, especially students who stand out among others. You've demonstrated these qualities. If I were in his shoes, I would feel the same way with a professor/student relationship.

 

I mean fantasizing about naughty things with a mentor is normal. Kink. Nothing wrong about it. Hell, I had a crush on my second grade teacher when I was exposed to healthy sexuality at an early age asking questions of my own existence and procreation.

 

Typically, if a teacher is interested I would expect them to make the move first. Marriages between student and teacher have happened before once the student had graduated and was formally no longer considered a student. A few people might raise their eyebrows, but why the hell shouldn't it work?

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  • 1 month later...

Dude seems like he just respects you a lot and wanted to encourage you.

 

His letter was of the exact same type and compliments I used to get when I was at university doing my major in Russian language. I was a very good student and they saw that and took me under their wing. I had a very good mentor/student relationship with them.

 

This is what yours sounded like. Not as a romance but the fact he respects you and wants to encourage you.

 

Treasure him. And his letter :) I graduated and got my degree in big part because of profs like this.

 

He was mentoring you :) trust me :) If you're not used to it, which it seemed like you weren't, it could SEEM like romance. He WAS treating you differently, but not because of romance. Profs notice students who are very good at the work, or students who are really enjoying them and what they teach, and will respond to that. They do take certain students under their wing.

Edited by Blade96
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