A single guy considering becoming a preschool teacher... dating doom?

[Col1]

As the title says, I'm a guy who is thinking of switching careers to become a preschool teacher. I enjoy working with children. Singing, laughing, dancing, games, teaching. I have lots of experience with a relative's preschool age kids.

 

There's a short term training program at the local community college, including practical experience in preschool settings. They claim nearly all graduates find a position within a few months after graduating. The cost of the program is fairly low and I could pay for it without student loans. I could also take classes, do the training, while still keeping my present job.

 

True, the pay of a preschool teach is low (under $20K). That might turn off some ladies. But I'm financially stable; not rich or anything. I have my own place, car, and don't have any loans or any major expenses.

 

But... the idea of a man working with little children may turn off many ladies. I'm sure many will say "that's wonderful," but in their minds they will be thinking... next! They might even think I'm not heterosexual. Might spell dating D-O-O-M. Probably why there aren't too many guy preschool teachers.

 

Thoughts?

Edited June 13, 2014 by Col1

[lollipopspot]

True, the pay of a preschool teach is low (under $20K). That might turn off some ladies. But I'm financially stable; not rich or anything. I have my own place, car, and don't have any loans or any major expenses.

 

But... the idea of a man working with little children may turn off many ladies. I'm sure many will say "that's wonderful," but in their minds they will be thinking... next! They might even think I'm not heterosexual. Might spell dating D-O-O-M. Probably why there aren't too many guy preschool teachers.

 

The fear of not being attractive to women is not why there aren't that many male preschool teachers. It's more about the pay and the lack of wanting to spend all day with young children.

 

Like with most things, there are some women who will find your interest and job very attractive, and others who will have a bias for a man in a more "masculine" and higher paid profession, especially if she wants to raise a family and be a primary caretaker.

 

It depends on the sort of woman you might want to attract.

 

However, even a female who has a certain ideal of the man she wants will often or usually change that if she meets an actual guy with whom she shares attraction. You will definitely be around a lot of ladies if you go this route

[nofeelings22]

Just do it.

 

I would laugh in the face of any woman who thought my profession wasn't masculine enough.

[writergal]

Col1 don't thwart your passion for a teaching career because you think women won't date a pre-school teacher. Teaching, at whatever level, is a noble profession, and one where educators unfortunately aren't paid what they're worth.

 

I say, do the teaching license and masters program so you can become a licensed pre-K teacher and enjoy yourself! Try not to be so self-conscious about your salary or student loan debt. Several of my male friends who are teachers met their wives at the schools where they taught, who are also teachers. Teachers date teachers. And if that opportunity doesn't present itself, another one will, where you'll meet women who admire you for being a pre-K teacher and want to date you because they are attracted to you as a person.

 

I think in the U.S., we put too much emphasis on "what do you do for a living," whereas the rest of the world isn't as concerned with labels. There's a superficial-ness that I dislike about Americans who judge each other by their salaries and job titles. It's stupid really.

 

If teaching is your thing, do it.

[lollipopspot]

Eau Claire - what country were you raised in?

[writergal]

The rest of the world? I can't imagine a man being a preschool teacher in 90% of the world. Certainly not in the countries I was a nurse in. Women and only women take care of children just about everywhere. Usually children only associate with males after early childhood. Their fathers are very proud of their male children but they do none of the care.

 

Eau Claire in my MAT program, there were 200 male PreShool teachers enrolled. In Minnesota. Male PreSchool teachers are very common here in the U.S.

 

And that's absolutely not true that only women take care of children. Not even as nannies. What countries are you referring to? 3rd world ones?

[Col1]

You will definitely be around a lot of ladies if you go this route

 

I heard that most preschool lady teachers want a more masculine man. OTOH, maybe they could introduce me to a friend?

 

I would be doing just a community college program. I'm not going for a four year degree and a masters.... $150K tuition to get a career that pays a little over minimum wage?!?!

[lollipopspot]

I heard that most preschool lady teachers want a more masculine man.

 

There's no rule in this. I have a very good friend who is a preschool teacher, she's fun and beautiful and she certainly wouldn't turn down a relationship with another preschool teacher who was a compatible male. She doesn't think like that, in terms of masculine or feminine jobs. A lot of people don't.

 

I'm not money oriented or gender role oriented, and I don't judge people on those things, and I'm not alone in that.

[pteromom]

Do what you love, and your life will be fulfilling.

 

Do what you think others want or expect you to do, and you'll be miserable.

 

You want to attract a woman who likes you for who you are. If who you are is a guy who likes to laugh and sing with children, that's who you should be.

 

Some women will find it ridiculous. Some will find it incredibly attractive. Some won't care one way or the other. But if you can find the woman who LOVES how you relate to children, and dances and sings right along with you, that is who you will be happiest with.

 

Don't worry about pay right now... teaching preschool can always transition into other opportunities down the road. Coaching, getting more education to move into something related but more specialized, etc.

[nofeelings22]

I heard that most preschool lady teachers want a more masculine man. OTOH, maybe they could introduce me to a friend?

 

I would be doing just a community college program. I'm not going for a four year degree and a masters.... $150K tuition to get a career that pays a little over minimum wage?!?!

 

Other than my initial post, you certainly could do just fine.

 

1) There will be girls in the program you share an interest with, have something to talk about with and will be doing group projects with. You may find your wife in the program and your shared love of teaching could bring you close together and make you a power couple in your field.

 

2) If you don't find one there and are dating outside, get under the girl's skin before you tell them specifics. "I'm an educator," "I'm in the teaching profession", "let's not talk about work so quickly, I'd really like to get to know you as a person", etc.

[lollipopspot]

Also, how exactly are you defining "masculine man" such that a male preschool teacher can't be masculine? For me, masculinity is not defined by whether the job the man is in is traditionally male or female.

[bluegreen]

I think its very tender and sweet idea and would have no Issue dating you ...

[thefooloftheyear]

The fear of not being attractive to women is not why there aren't that many male preschool teachers. It's more about the pay and the lack of wanting to spend all day with young children.

 

Like with most things, there are some women who will find your interest and job very attractive, and others who will have a bias for a man in a more "masculine" and higher paid profession, especially if she wants to raise a family and be a primary caretaker.

 

It depends on the sort of woman you might want to attract.

 

However, even a female who has a certain ideal of the man she wants will often or usually change that if she meets an actual guy with whom she shares attraction. You will definitely be around a lot of ladies if you go this route

 

While I agree with you (in principle), the reality is that Eau Claire has this dead on..

 

Most women are going to find it peculiar and weird...Plus, the pay sucks..so he is going to look very weak as a man...Its unfortunate, but thats the way the cards are stacked...

 

And Id have to also agree with her in that MANY parents(and potentially date prospects) are going to view him as a potential pedophile, creep in hiding, or homosexual..It may be unfair, but it is what it is....

 

Im a parent of a daughter...She was fully potty trained by the time she hit pre school, but easily half of the other kids weren't...Some(all?) of these kids needed help in the bathroom...I wonder how many parents are going to be comfortable with a strange grown man "helping" their kid (especially a daughter, but either way)in the bathroom.? My guess is almost none of them..

 

I love kids and absolutely adore my daughter...But, TBH, I dont have much patience and understanding for anyone else's kid(s)..I think most men are kinda the same...Not in the same way that a woman would...Its in their nature...Women are just plain better than us in this area..

 

OP.....Measure twice and cut once....

 

TFY

[lollipopspot]

Some(all?) of these kids needed help in the bathroom...I wonder how many parents are going to be comfortable with a strange grown man "helping" their kid (especially a daughter, but either way)in the bathroom.? My guess is almost none of them..

 

I'll have to ask my preschool teacher friend about this. I'm not sure if there are any male preschool teachers she has worked with. I think there are often two teachers in a classroom though, so maybe the female can take kids to the bathroom if that's an issue for some parents?

Edited June 15, 2014 by lollipopspot

[iiiii]

I don't think most women would worry about what you do for a job, so long as you love your job and are making enough to support yourself. I certainly wouldn't be put off by it.

 

I think we definitely need more male early childhood teachers. I think it does girls and boys a world of good to have positive male role models, especially if they've got no father at home.

 

 

I think we get few males compared to females in preschool teaching partly because most men just aren't interested in spending all day caring for little kids, and also because the role is comparatively poorly paid. Nursing, veterinary medicine, and veterinary nursing are the same. These are all (relatively) poorly paid, "caring" professions - and they're all dominated by females.

[Yasuandio]

An educator is an educator. State it that way - be proud of it.

 

You are teaching and molding the child's mind and cognition in the most formative years - during the period they are cabable of learning the most information. That takes skill - it is a delicate task.

 

Furthermore - even at the lowest possible pay - don't let people kid you - minimum wage - that is bull! You get off at 3:30. No overtime ever. It is a low stress job, if you know what you are and have a dencent Principle (be sure to watch hallways - they tell the whole story; and interview the school and other teachers). One third of the year you are on vacation. Extended holidays, dental, medical, pention. Garanteed pay raises every year. Cost of living increase every year. If you get a Master's - pay goes up dramatically. Same with doctorate.

 

This $20,000 start pay cannot be right unless you have do not possess a four year degree and/or have no k-12 teaching credential. As a professor that supervised Student Teachers, they left our program earning close to or even sometimes more than I did in the popular districts. Professors are not generally well paid either. But coming in on first year - you should be at at least 25,000 - 32,000 by this time, depending on where you live in the US. That is really undershooting it too. That is my take, but no matter, teach summer school - or take a job bartending during off season and holidays, and you'll be making great deal more (while putting in the like hours of a normal job. Yas

Edited June 15, 2014 by Yasuandio

[bluegreen]

I love what one member said about positive role models.

Considering situation on outside if I ever have daughter am more then half ready to send her to catholic school or convent better yet and am not even Catholic :laugh. All the joking aside just because some of the careers or fields are female oriented does not SHOULD not mean that smart capable caring males should not be in it or consider them right choices for them.

 

What happens if God forbid I get really ill go to hospital and need someone to carry me to go potty who the hell will do that tiny petite 5 foot girl aide ?

I wanna guy nurse one am sure it won't drop me on my ass perhaps its crude compressional but you get my meaning.

 

A lots of little girls also do not have fathers uncles cousins they need more then any other kids bit of strong hand and tender hearted males role models.

Someone mentioned what about bathrooms I wonder what about your little or teen girls pediatrician's that are males who do all from open your mouth say aaaaaaaa to shots partial and full body exams ?

 

 

 

The only draw back ONLY one is that it sucks is hoe little people who give all their heart and brain for careers like this is pay.

And sad thing is WE don't care cause sure as hell I did not study medical assisting for PAY its my desire to help people and passion to make a positive difference in their lives ....

[thefooloftheyear]

I love what one member said about positive role models.

Considering situation on outside if I ever have daughter am more then half ready to send her to catholic school or convent better yet and am not even Catholic :laugh. All the joking aside just because some of the careers or fields are female oriented does not SHOULD not mean that smart capable caring males should not be in it or consider them right choices for them.

 

What happens if God forbid I get really ill go to hospital and need someone to carry me to go potty who the hell will do that tiny petite 5 foot girl aide ?

I wanna guy nurse one am sure it won't drop me on my ass perhaps its crude compressional but you get my meaning.

 

A lots of little girls also do not have fathers uncles cousins they need more then any other kids bit of strong hand and tender hearted males role models.

Someone mentioned what about bathrooms I wonder what about your little or teen girls pediatrician's that are males who do all from open your mouth say aaaaaaaa to shots partial and full body exams ?

 

 

 

The only draw back ONLY one is that it sucks is hoe little people who give all their heart and brain for careers like this is pay.

And sad thing is WE don't care cause sure as hell I did not study medical assisting for PAY its my desire to help people and passion to make a positive difference in their lives ....

 

Your analogies are ridiculous..

 

Sure, as a grown man you wouldnt have an issue with someone helping you with bathroom duties...You are an adult and can properly process things...Kids cant and dont really understand when they are tiny 3 or 4 year olds.

 

Its not the same...First of all. when your child is little, the parent always accompanies the child to the dr..and. a teen and a toddler have as much in common as a rhino and a beetle...Not too many parents are going to feel comfortable with a grown man helping a 3/4 year old in the bathroom..especially a little girl...I wouldnt with my daughter....So call me unenlightened or old school...I dont care...I dont take any chances with my own kid..No way...

 

Its unfortunate that it has to be this way, but human nature is what it is..

 

I love women's lingerie...I think its awesome...Oh, how much fun and exciting it would be to get a job in the VS store and help women in the dressing room....

 

But id never consider trying to get a job there.. Nor should any man..

 

Ill admit that the analogy here is extreme...but its all I could think of..

 

TFY

[bluegreen]

Well you "admitted" and then we are able to move on

Thank you ....

[lollipopspot]

One third of the year you are on vacation. Extended holidays, dental, medical, pention. Garanteed pay raises every year. Cost of living increase every year. If you get a Master's - pay goes up dramatically. Same with doctorate.

 

He's talking about preschool, which I understand to be different than the regular public school system, and are generally privately run and year round I believe.

[lollipopspot]

I agree that it would be very good if more men were in early childhood education, and in particular I think this guy should go for it, since he seems to really want to do it and he'll probably be great at it.

 

But I can understand why a parent might at least have some initial concerns, and they're based in reality.

 

Gavin De Becker has some best selling security books and owns a security firm, and I remember reading this advice in one of his books about protecting children from harm:

 

I don’t believe in teaching inflexible rules because it’s not possible to know if they’ll work in all situations. There is one rule, however, that enhances safety in most situations:

 

Teach your child to go to a woman if she is lost.

 

Why? First, if your child selects a woman, it’s highly unlikely that the woman will be a sexual predator. Next, a woman approached by a lost child asking for help is likely to stop whatever she is doing, get down to the kid’s eye level, commit to that child, and not rest until the child is safe. A man approached by the same child might say, ‘‘Head over there to the manager’s desk,’’ whereas a woman is most likely to get involved and stay involved.

 

Is what I’ve said politically incorrect? Maybe so, but the luxury of not running for office is that I don’t care if it’s politically incorrect. The fact is that men in all cultures and at all ages and at all times in history are more violent than women - and facts are not political.

 

‘‘If you are ever lost, go to a woman’’ works because it’s practical (there will almost always be a woman around) and simple (easy to teach, easy to learn, easy to do). Finally, teaching children to choose someone rather than wait for someone to choose them will be a useful lesson their whole lives. It’s the same advice I give to adult women.

Best Advice For a Lost Child - Child Safety - Resources

 

A parent might well have more concerns about trusting an unknown male with their child in the bathroom than an unknown female. Familiarity can overcome this, or having a female teacher deal with bathroom issues could resolve it, but it's not an outlandish concern given our culture.

[Yasuandio]

He's talking about preschool, which I understand to be different than the regular public school system, and are generally privately run and year round I believe.

 

I stand corrected. Yas

Edited June 16, 2014 by Yasuandio

[Els]

I don't see what someone's profession has to do with their sexuality.

 

That being said, from what I've heard, biases against male preschool teachers (or male nannies) are pretty rife, and that MAY backfire against you, not only in dating, but also in terms of job opportunities. Yes, some of us wouldn't care and we'd want you to be treated the same as a female teacher - but we don't control everyone else. Are you going to be okay with that?

[joystickd]

Actually you taking the job and being good at it will help you meet women because you will display qualities that will make women think you could be a good father. You could be banging a lot of kids parents;)

[thefooloftheyear]

While it shouldnt matter and I still wouldnt be comfortable with it, if you are going to do it, then I would think that what you look like will have a big impact on whether or not you would be able to pull it off..

 

Even if all else were equal..

 

I mean, a big strapping dude with some tattoos that looks an iron worker isnt going to look like a "typical" pre K teacher..I would think that this type of guy would elicit very negative responses from parents, no matter how good his intentions..

 

Convversely, if the guy was a 140 lb effeminate type with soft hands and an unintimidating persona, then maybe there wouldnt be as much of a pushback...

 

But either way, I think Id still look for other work if I was the OP...Heck, I know a guy that is a male nurse(more accepted these days), and he tells me all the time that people feel uncomfortable around him and everyone thinks he's queer....Who needs that?

 

TFY